Ok, thank you. That's the sucker punch scenario that these discussions always come to. And it's the debate about what 'threat' means, as in '...become aware of a threat.' When initiative is rolled. So the thing about that is turn based play is the method for resolving combat. Stepping back, the everything in the game could be resolved turn based, it's only not because it's too cumbersome. So if you start that peaceful npc interaction, each pc or npc is choosing what to do with their turn to not attack. If it's a tense interaction, they all could be taking dodged or ready actions. To take the ready action, they'd need to have their weapon out because ready gives a reaction, and you don't get interaction with an object to draw on the reaction. So it becomes persuasion checks to convince the npc not to be taking the dodge action on his turn. From the pc perspective, in combat you do have to announce your action before you roll initiatives, but then on subsequent rounds you don't, but only because it becomes cumbersome. One way to set it up so that the PCs are more vulnerable to the sucker punch, so that they are lulled and don't announce that they'll take the dodge or ready action, could be to continue to require announce until an attack is made by anyone. Another way would be to impose disadvantage on persuasion checks for ready or dodge action, as it takes a combative pose.
Also, the analogy to modern combat and weapons can't be used in d&d without breaking the way d&d simulates combat. In d&d, hit points are not health points. Damage doesn't reduce combat capabilities. A sword hit can't be an actual flesh penetration, or it all breaks down. In modern combat, almost any 'damage' is going to result in essentialy unconscious condition. Finally, the 6 second round only simulates medieval combat. Modern combat, on an individual basis- not the platoon or battalion scale- is a matter of fractions of a second to be won or lost.