Dealing with bickering players.

[Caliban]

I've found that sighing heavily, rolling my eyes, and using a condescending tone of voice doesn't actually help stop the bickering any faster. Who knew?

 

[Tony Vargas]

What advice can other DMs give me for dealing with players that seem to bicker about pointless things and talk over each other a lot?

Well, there's the old-school panacea: roll for wandering monsters.

 

[was]

..A good foam bat works..

 

[RedSiegfried]

Well, there's the old-school panacea: roll for wandering monsters.

If that doesn't work, there's always Dr. Bluto's advice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uepFO4psgKE

The DM drinks because you fight.

 

[amerigoV]

Well, there's the old-school panacea: roll for wandering monsters.

Random? Just pull out the Tarasque. Nothing brings people together like overwhelming odds (and at least the GM gets to enjoy the TPK)

 

[Jhaelen]

Random? Just pull out the Tarasque.

Except that the Tarasque is rather pathetic and easily avoided by anyone in the mid- to high-level range...

 

[jimmifett]

A rarely traveled spot in the deep woods, some large canvas sacks, rope, lime, a shovel and some peppermint candies.

Dig a hole in the woods, fill the canvas bags with dirt. Tie them off with ropes with an easy to open knot. When they start bickering, throw peppermint candies at them to get attention. When they stop, inform them that their cars will be filled with forest dirt if they keep it up. Put the lime on your corona, sit back and enjoy a much happier game.

If you find you have to kill them anyway, well, at least you have everything you need, but the wrong kind of lime.

 

[Mad_Jack]

Random? Just pull out the Tarasque. Nothing brings people together like overwhelming odds (and at least the GM gets to enjoy the TPK)

I seem to recall a certain demotivational poster that had something to do with an Elder God wearing Power Armor...

As for myself, I make it clear right from the start of the game that I won't put up with actual argument at the table (spirited discussion, sure, but there's a line that can be crossed), and that if I feel the game has been derailed by pointless bickering the party gets one warning to get their crap together... If they can't get on the same page within a minute or two after that the party will be going with whatever version of the plan was on the table at that time and simply be forced to deal with the consequences of their indecision. Often, if I feel the party is getting off-track during an encounter, I'll simply tell them that the time is up, give them a summary of what's happening at that particular moment, give them a list of three or four choices they can take, and make them pick one.

I have no problem with cracking the whip when necessary to move the game forward, and on the extreme end have even once or twice ended a session and gone home after announcing that the group has been wasting my time.