Here is a good example of a disconnect in the discussion. There is no concept of “taking 20” in 5e. You are applying a rule from a past edition. You are certainly not alone - I think this happens reasonably often in the forums here, even though we are many years deep into 5e.
The same is true of players initiating rolls.
Not to say you can’t have fun using these rules variations, they just happen to be holdovers from past editions.
If something is not working at your table, though, you may first want to examine if you are following 5e rules or using assumptions based on other games.
If fun is had by all at your table, then carry on. That’s the real bottom line for any of us.