Those kinds of considerations were on my mind when I started thinking about the portals & ship jump drive issue, and why I used the Umbransignal.So, I am going to come around to a point backwards.
What do you want to be the basic economic limiters on the cultures in this setting. Because those, combined with your ftl technology, will tell you what war will be like. Because, to be brutally honest, war is a problem.
Anyone who can manage casually moving around in a solar system, and make jumps between stars in independent ships, can destroy society on a planet, almost trivially. Slap engines on a ship-sized nickel-iron asteroid. Jump it to the outskirts of your target solar system. Drive full throttle at your target - engines and the gravity assist of falling towards the system's sun make your rock into a dinosaur killer. This is cheap and unmanned. You make 'em by the truckload. Eventually one gets through.
So, you need a reason why wars don't happen. The gate system may be your answer.
Drawing from RW history, one of the reasons for the lack of wars on American soil is those two big oceans. So I wanted something analogous in the setting that makes wars rare as well. This meant it would have to be VERY difficult to launch a war fleet of any real into space controlled by another civilization.
Step 1: ship drives have limited range. They have enough range that each civilization can span several or- in some regions- hundreds of stars- but each civilization’s boundaries are defined by interstellar gaps too large to cross as a practical matter.
Step 2: the big portals are nestled inside of big asteroids. While their range is much greater than a ship’s jump drive, they still have limitations on how much they can pass quickly. This also makes it difficult to transport a hostile force into someone else’s territory. Combined, that makes the portals into a more defensible choke point.
Step 3: Jump drives aren’t merely very expensive to build. They (and portals) also require expensive Unobtanium to function. Each ship drive is inherently precious, borderline irreplaceable. Even the ones used for commerce- if any such exist- might still be in part under government control. So it would be a rare tactic to sacrifice a jump drive in order to make an interstellar kamikaze strike. Rare, but not inconceivable. Possibly even tried by rogue imperialists, terrorists or xenophobes who manage to steal a drive. It may have even been done successfully a couple of times, resulting in higher security- possibly including unified efforts- to prevent history repeating.
There’s also something in my mind from The Retrieval Artist novels by Kristine Kathryn Rusch: there’s a very sophisticated court system that handles most conflicts between members of different civilizations, including major ones. As in, incidents that could touch off genocidal wars. While it’s never stated as such, you get the feeling that the civilizations that use the system are DEEPLY invested in making it work, to the point that they would take extreme measures to make sure the verdicts are obeyed.
That made me think of the 1964 film, Failsafe. In it, the President of the USA orders an American bomber to nuke NYC in order to stave off war with the USSR after a mistakenly deployed US bomber nukes Moscow.
Fail Safe (1964 film) - Wikipedia
None of this makes war impossible. Just improbable. Economic siege warfare would be more likely than actual military strikes.