Jack Daniel
Legend
Uncontested.What players want isn’t less important than what you want.
Subjective to the point of irrelevance on all counts.Denying them what they want requires justification, or it is at best rude, and at worst petty and selfish.
Justification allows them to make informed decisions about whether you are being fair, and gives them the assurance that you give a naughty word about your players.
It's not that I disagree. It's that I fail to see how one kind of justification can meaningfully differ from another. What makes "I don't personally like elves" different from "After careful consideration, I've judged that elves don't fit the theme of my setting", "there aren't any elves mentioned in the lore of this published setting we're using", "I personally believe that the elf mechanics aren't balanced", "we're playing a game that doesn't have rules for elves," or even "it's Tuesday and because I feel like it"? How can anyone deem any of these more or less acceptable, especially when some of them are based on what fundamentally amount to artistic rather than rational considerations?If you disagree, good for you. I don’t care.
If you take giving a naughty word and (a good faith attempt at) fairness as given, then what's left? Subjective preference and nothing else. And then we're right back to interpersonal conflict resolution, and either someone getting their way (the social contract at work bequeaths to that someone some authority, and what they want really is more important after all), some compromise being reached (the social contract is fundamentally anarchic), or the dissolution of the group (the social contract leads to impasse).
If you like, we can call these three social contract outcomes authoritative, anarchic, and dysfunctional. My contention is not that the authoritative model is right and the anarchic model is wrong. It's that the anarchic model is far from universal and not inherently superior to the authoritative model. Different groups will use whichever one works for that group. And, for a group that operates under the authoritative model (which is no more a tyranny than it is an archaism—it only works if the players voluntarily invest the DM with authority, I don't think that's at all a controversial point to make, and I say this as both a DM and a player who generally operates under such a model), the justification you demand isn't required.