/snip
Just don't default to "You can't do that stupid thing because I say so."
Heh. This is hillarious. I had this discussion, almost verbatim, years ago on this board. And, what you just said, is exactly what got me labeled as anti-DM. Then again, back then, I was the only one, it seemed, who seemed to lean this way, so, it was me arguing with about half a dozen or so folks. Funny how things change.
To me, this thread also somewhat lines up with that other thread I started a little while ago about players playing in settings that they haven't really bought into.
When it comes to playing some race that I hadn't anticipated, my reaction is going to come down almost entirely to how much work is the player expecting me to do? If the player, to use the dead horse example of the Egyptian themed campaign, says:
Player: Here is my Samurai character. He's fresh off the boat. Doesn't know anyone, doesn't have any connections to the setting or the campaign. Ok, Mr. DM, entertain me.
well, I have very, very little sympathy for that player and, I'm probably going to side with
@Zardnaar here and just veto the character. Sorry, you're dumping all this work on my lap because you cannot be bothered to read the campaign summary and make a character that fits the campaign? That means I'm going make zero effort to accomodate you.
On the other hand, if the same player came to me with this pitch:
Player: Here is my Samurai character. A few years ago, a treasure fleet from my homeland did the rounds (similar to the Chinese treasure fleet of the 13th (14th?) century) and when they came to this city that we're in, they established a small trading post. My father and brother are attached to the trading post, handling family trading stuff, while I was brought along and completed my training. Now, after just completing my training, my father has tasked me with venturing out into the broader setting, learning all that I can and reporting back. While I am a stranger here, I have lived in the city for a couple of years, so, I have some casual contacts among the merchant classes as well as some very minor contacts among the court. These are things we can work on together Mr. DM, if you're interested. What do you think?
I'm all in. There's a character, that, despite being a fish out of water character, fits into the campaign, has reasons for adventuring in the setting, and is dripping with all sorts of hooks to rope them into all sorts of shenanigans. Is it the class/race I expected in my Egyptian themed game? No, it's not. But, the player has done most of the work for me, and handed me this big bundle of gift wrapped campaign ideas. Fantastic.
So, at the end of the day, it really does depend on how the player approaches the DM.