Lyxen
Great Old One
This is my biggest complaint about the game for as long as I can remember.
We can spend an entire gaming session deeply immersed in the story and the setting, vibing off of each other in character, telling an awesome story of betrayal and revenge, dragons and sorcery...
...and all that carefully-crafted suspense and tension goes right out the window as soon as we roll for initiative. Now we hard-shift from storytelling to some weird board game, where everyone argues over minutiae, complains about (Dis)Advantage, and counts squares on a battle mat over and over again for a solid hour.
I played exactly the same way you did with BECMI and A&D for Decades and never had much problem because with a bit of mental flexibility, TotM combat can really be a prolongation of storytelling, although a bit more formal. And I also enjoyed 3e when it came out, because at least with had consistent rules that covered many cases. But we also realised the same thing that you did, that it took too much of our storytelling/roleplaying time.
Please, don't take this as a criticism of people who like the more (board)gaming part of the game, it's fine to like it, it's just that out preferences run elsewhere.
Anyway, after 3e and pathfinder, 4e was probably the worst for us, because the formalism was extreme and the world limited in possibilities. But 5e brought us back full circle to what we could do before, and now we are really happy, as we have the rules more consistent than before 3e and still tons of freedom to continue the story even while fighting, without spending hours on each fight.
It's gotten better since 5th Edition came out (Pathfinder was the worst I'd seen), but it's still a bit too board-gamey for my tastes. I'm always on the hunt for ways to streamline the "combat mini-game" so that it doesn't pull so much focus.
For us, it's all about limiting the players' involvement in someone else's turn, works really well.