I like your analysis. I expect the response will be, and I can sympathize with it, is that there's SOME verisimilitude in being "in the character's shoes." Sort of like there is some verisimilitude in the use of boffers to play out the action of a fight. Neither one is REALISTIC, but there is some bit of visceral experience involved. I might not bully another player into an emotional crack up, but I might lightly inhabit that state of mind and use it to react in a somewhat more authentic way. I mean, personally I'm more in your camp than not, I think playing a role is never THAT similar to the 'real thing'. However, it isn't arguable that talking through something, and play acting, is different from rolling dice. I have to accept that some people will prefer the former over the latter for reasons which are probably not really fully rational and articulable.
People's preferences are what they are.
Given that I've cried tears in playing a character, I've probably emoted as much as many ENworlders.
But the script had to come from somewhere. I didn't cry tears because someone or something actually reduced me to tears. I made a decision about what my character would feel, and then used memories (of experiences in my own life, and also of the person I knew who had had an experience most like that my character was undergoing) to generate that feeling in myself, which thus led me to cry.
In the bullying case, you as a player might inhabit the state of mind of someone who is being bullied. But I doubt that many people advocate that the bully should inhabit that state of mind, and imagine taking pleasure in reducing others to tears! Rather, we rely on the player of the bully to convey the idea that their character is a bully, and then except the other players to somehow internalise that in their response. They're not actually being bullied.
Or think of a romance case. The world is full of passes and pick-up lines that fail, one night stands who won't go away, broken hearts, etc. Is anyone saying that we should have those things among the friends at a RPG table? In real life there are many social situations that simply don't resolve, people who never speak again, etc. Unless one character is permanently out of the game, how is that going to work at the RPG table?
The script has to come from somewhere. And the creation of the script is logically independent of the emoting or inhabiting of the character.
Right. It is hella more like the real thing than a dice roll is.
I've cried watching Maggie Cheung in Ashes of Time. It was a lot more real than any RPGing I've ever seen or participated in. But she was following a script.
The notion that scripting and emotional power are at odds isn't one I can agree with.