Actual Play: I Do Not Want a Mastodon

[uzirath]

​

This afternoon, while waiting for my son's circus class to end, I tried a new one-page RPG, I Do Not Want a Mastodon.

I was sitting in a waiting area with no dice, so I played on discord using a die-rolling bot that I've used for GURPS before (pseudobot). Here's the transcript.

1. uzirath — Today at 12:50 PM​

   Time to see what happens with my new, unwanted mastodon! I fear it will sit on me and I will be trapped forever...
   
   
   
2. uzirath used
   /roll
   

   PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:51 PM​

   Rolled 1d6. Result: (5) = 5
   
   
   
3. uzirath used
   /roll
   

   PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:52 PM​

   Rolled 1d6. Result: (1) = 1
   
   
   

4. uzirath — Today at 12:52 PM​

   An evening at home and it trumpets ERROR at me. +1 THINKING.
   
   
   
5. uzirath used
   /roll
   

   PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:53 PM​

   Rolled 1d6. Result: (1) = 1
   
   
   
6. uzirath used
   /roll
   

   PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:53 PM​

   Rolled 1d6. Result: (4) = 4
   
   
   

7. uzirath — Today at 12:54 PM​

   A day with my mastodon... it federated violently through a window! +1 CONFUSION and DAMAGES!
   
   
   
8. uzirath used
   /roll
   

   PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:54 PM​

   Rolled 1d6. Result: (3) = 3
   
   
   

9. uzirath — Today at 12:54 PM​

   Another day...
   
   
   
10. uzirath used
    /roll
    

    PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:54 PM​

    Rolled 1d6. Result: (1) = 1
    
    
    

11. uzirath — Today at 12:55 PM​

    This time it tells me a secret about my family that it could not possibly know. +1 CONFUSION (2 total)
    ooh, wait, I forgot about this tidbit. Whenever my confusion goes up, I have to roll three dice.
    So I get to try that twice now.
    
    
    
12. uzirath used
    /roll
    

    PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:55 PM​

    Rolled 3d. Result: (1+1+3) = 5
    
    
    
13. uzirath used
    /roll
    

    PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:56 PM​

    Rolled 3d. Result: (6+5+3) = 14
    
    
    

14. uzirath — Today at 12:56 PM​

    Alas, I only achieve a feverish moment of clarity if I roll the same number on each die.
    So I'm at 2 CONFUSION, and 1 DAMAGES and THINKING.
    
    
    
15. uzirath used
    /roll
    

    PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:57 PM​

    Rolled 1d6. Result: (1) = 1
    
    
    
16. uzirath used
    /roll
    

    PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:57 PM​

    Rolled 1d6. Result: (2) = 2
    
    

17. uzirath — Today at 12:57 PM​

    Nasty. It decentralized all over the rug. +1 DAMAGES (2 total)
    
    
    
18. uzirath used
    /roll
    

    PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:58 PM​

    Rolled 1d6. Result: (2) = 2
    
    
    
19. uzirath used
    /roll
    

    PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:58 PM​

    Rolled 1d6. Result: (6) = 6
    
    

20. uzirath — Today at 12:58 PM​

    It bit a hole in my roof so it could ogle some other mastodons in the neighborhood. +2 DAMAGES (4 total)
    
    
    
21. uzirath used
    /roll
    

    PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:59 PM​

    Rolled 1d6. Result: (6) = 6
    
    

22. uzirath — Today at 12:59 PM​

    Uh oh, I pissed it off and it sat on me... can I escape???
    
    
23. uzirath used
    /roll
    

    PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:59 PM​

    Rolled 1d6. Result: (6) = 6
    
    
    

24. uzirath — Today at 12:59 PM​

    NOOOO
    
    
25. [1:00 PM]
    My nightmare has come true! I never emerge from beneath the beast!
    
    
26. [1:04 PM]
    That was surprisingly cathartic.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Very cute! But I was thinking it makes more sense (?) with shoggoths than mammoths.*




* this is undoubtedly the first time that sentence has ever been written in human history,

 

[aco175]

The more important part of the OP is that there are classes you can take to be in a circus.

 

[uzirath]

Very cute! But I was thinking it makes more sense (?) with shoggoths than mammoths.

A shoggoth would be far more logical. Do note, however, that the mastodon is very picky about its heritage. It is not a mammoth. (I may have called it a mammoth before it sat on me.)

The more important part of the OP is that there are classes you can take to be in a circus.

It is a rather amazing thing: Circus Juventas.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

A shoggoth would be far more logical. Do note, however, that the mastodon is very picky about its heritage. It is not a mammoth. (I may have called it a mammoth before it sat on me.)

Apologies! It was a typo, likely caused by contemplating the logic of shoggoths.