# Actual Play: I Do Not Want a Mastodon

### ​

This afternoon, while waiting for my son's circus class to end, I tried a new one-page RPG, I Do Not Want a Mastodon.

I was sitting in a waiting area with no dice, so I played on discord using a die-rolling bot that I've used for GURPS before (pseudobot). Here's the transcript.
1. ### uzirath — Today at 12:50 PM​

Time to see what happens with my new, unwanted mastodon! I fear it will sit on me and I will be trapped forever...

2. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:51 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (5) = 5

3. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:52 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (1) = 1

4. ### uzirath — Today at 12:52 PM​

An evening at home and it trumpets ERROR at me. +1 THINKING.

5. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:53 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (1) = 1

6. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:53 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (4) = 4

7. ### uzirath — Today at 12:54 PM​

A day with my mastodon... it federated violently through a window! +1 CONFUSION and DAMAGES!

8. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:54 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (3) = 3

9. ### uzirath — Today at 12:54 PM​

Another day...

10. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:54 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (1) = 1

11. ### uzirath — Today at 12:55 PM​

This time it tells me a secret about my family that it could not possibly know. +1 CONFUSION (2 total)
ooh, wait, I forgot about this tidbit. Whenever my confusion goes up, I have to roll three dice.
So I get to try that twice now.

12. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:55 PM​

Rolled 3d. Result: (1+1+3) = 5

13. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:56 PM​

Rolled 3d. Result: (6+5+3) = 14

14. ### uzirath — Today at 12:56 PM​

Alas, I only achieve a feverish moment of clarity if I roll the same number on each die.
So I'm at 2 CONFUSION, and 1 DAMAGES and THINKING.

15. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:57 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (1) = 1

16. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:57 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (2) = 2

17. ### uzirath — Today at 12:57 PM​

Nasty. It decentralized all over the rug. +1 DAMAGES (2 total)

18. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:58 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (2) = 2

19. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:58 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (6) = 6

20. ### uzirath — Today at 12:58 PM​

It bit a hole in my roof so it could ogle some other mastodons in the neighborhood. +2 DAMAGES (4 total)

21. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:59 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (6) = 6

22. ### uzirath — Today at 12:59 PM​

Uh oh, I pissed it off and it sat on me... can I escape???

23. uzirath used
/roll

### PseudobotBOT — Today at 12:59 PM​

Rolled 1d6. Result: (6) = 6

24. ### uzirath — Today at 12:59 PM​

NOOOO

25. [1:00 PM]
My nightmare has come true! I never emerge from beneath the beast!

26. [1:04 PM]
That was surprisingly cathartic.

#### Dannyalcatraz

##### Schmoderator
Staff member
Supporter
Very cute! But I was thinking it makes more sense (?) with shoggoths than mammoths.*

* this is undoubtedly the first time that sentence has ever been written in human history,

#### aco175

##### Legend
The more important part of the OP is that there are classes you can take to be in a circus.

#### uzirath

##### Hero
Very cute! But I was thinking it makes more sense (?) with shoggoths than mammoths.

A shoggoth would be far more logical. Do note, however, that the mastodon is very picky about its heritage. It is not a mammoth. (I may have called it a mammoth before it sat on me.)

The more important part of the OP is that there are classes you can take to be in a circus.

It is a rather amazing thing: Circus Juventas.

#### Dannyalcatraz

##### Schmoderator
Staff member
Supporter
A shoggoth would be far more logical. Do note, however, that the mastodon is very picky about its heritage. It is not a mammoth. (I may have called it a mammoth before it sat on me.)
Apologies! It was a typo, likely caused by contemplating the logic of shoggoths.

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