1) A good DM has analyzed the situation, compared stats (any stealth skills v. Passive Perception, etc.) and decided an Ogre is standing in the road. (edit -- no surprise round).
I disagree. A good referee will do whatever the truth of the fiction dictates. Note I do not mean story or plot when I say fiction. By fiction I mean the established events, characters, locations, etc that exist in the game world. The existence of the ogre in the road at that particular moment is established by the fiction, i.e. the referee knows that ogre was walking across that road at that time...or, to make life easier, that's what the random encounter table coughed up.
2) Good players expect a good DM to know and apply the rules correctly.
That assumes there is an objectively correct way to run the rules. There isn't. It's all interpretation.
The players are running, in their minds, a menu of options to respond.
Exactly. And that's a
problem. They have a limited list of rules-provided options for their characters to do as if RPGs were a boardgame or video game. RPGs are neither. RPGs have a thing commonly referred to as tactical infinity. The characters can try literally anything the player can think of. They're not limited to that artificial menu in their head or in the rules.
As a player for over 40 years and a DM for almost as long, Good players and good play happens when the players can understand the common underlying structure (rules) and make decisions based on that.
I've been playing and running RPGs just as long as you have, and I agree with your statement here, except for the word rules. Replace the word rules with something like setting, genre, etc and we're in complete agreement. The rules are guidelines that point to the setting, genre, etc...they're not the setting, genre, etc. As said, the map isn't the territory. The rules are the map. The setting is the territory.
The world is chaos. For people who want their RPGs to more accurately mirror how the world works, chaos in this sense is good.
Even checkers breaks if you suddenly and unexpectedly let a piece move in a direction other than diagonal.
Importantly, RPGs are not boardgames. The characters in RPGs are not limited in the same way as pieces on a chess board.
I know people love storytelling and will talk glowingly of how they think rules get in the way. In my experience, every great session was how the shared rules made for truly great storytelling. And my worst sessions were when players stopped caring and trying because they had no idea what any results would be. Finally, we talk about player agency. That happens within the rules. Railroading occurs when the story is more important than player agency. In fact, without agency, losses are unfair and "wins" don't feel earned.
You're assuming I mean story and plot when I say fiction. That's not the case. I agree that player agency is king. Whatever story RPGs happen to have should be emergent from play, not enforced by the referee. I happen to see the rules as artificially limiting player agency. Characters can try anything. They're not limited to what the rules cover.
