D&D 5E Short, Funny Bard Songs Please

[EzekielRaiden]

Cheerfully stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway:

"This....is...your....
Birthday song
It isn't very long
HEY!"

Edit: Looks like I was already swordsage'd by Remathilis. Still, all too appropriate.

So instead, one for recognizing your party:

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Caught in a rad bromance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Caught in a rad bromance

Brah, brah-ah-ah-ah
Broma, broma-ma
Gaga, ooh-la-la
Want your rad bromance

I want your AC, I want your HP
I want your everything as long as it's free
I want your love
Love, love, love, I want your love (hey)

(Ironically...a lot of the rest of the song barely needs to be rewritten, presuming the party is actually out for revenge against those who have wronged them...)

 

[Lanefan]

Here's a few more songs I've worked on

Heal (Sung to "Jump")
You get beaten up, and sometimes knocked down
Your pretty tough, one of the toughest around
And I know, just how to heal
You got to roll with the punches and parry that steel
I can make your wounds disappear
If you're injured I can intervene
It's not the worst that I've seen
although, that wound is pretty obscene
Ah, might as well Heal
Might as well heal
Go ahead and heal
Go ahead and heal

That Van Halen rewording is pretty good!

 

[brodahisou]

Cheerfully stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway:

"This....is...your....
Birthday song
It isn't very long
HEY!"

Edit: Looks like I was already swordsage'd by Remathilis. Still, all too appropriate.

So instead, one for recognizing your party:

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Caught in a rad bromance
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
Caught in a rad bromance

Brah, brah-ah-ah-ah
Broma, broma-ma
Gaga, ooh-la-la
Want your rad bromance

I want your AC, I want your HP
I want your everything as long as it's free
I want your love
Love, love, love, I want your love (hey)

(Ironically...a lot of the rest of the song barely needs to be rewritten, presuming the party is actually out for revenge against those who have wronged them...)

I love the the Caught in a rad bromance song. That's awesome. Thanks for sharing.

 

[brodahisou]

That Van Halen rewording is pretty good!

Thanks Lanefan.

 

[JasonZZ]

(With a nod to the Yogscast)

Minstrels of the land rejoice!
Sing, sing, sing with me!
Raise your lutes and raise your voice!
Play, play, play with me!
Down and down in dungeons deep
Is where we'll find all treasures neat
Gem and jewel and coins galore
Strewn about the dungeon floor
I am a bard and I'm singing a song
Singing a song, singing a song
I am a bard and I'm singing a song
Singing a song, singing a song

(and so on and so forth)

 

[Lanefan]

(With a nod to the Yogscast)

Minstrels of the land rejoice!
Sing, sing, sing with me!
Raise your lutes and raise your voice!
Play, play, play with me!
Down and down in dungeons deep
Is where we'll find all treasures neat
Gem and jewel and coins galore
Strewn about the dungeon floor
I am a bard and I'm singing a song
Singing a song, singing a song
I am a bard and I'm singing a song
Singing a song, singing a song

(and so on and so forth)

NOOOOOooooooooo!!

Now I'll have that song stuck in my head for the next three weeks!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy” works just fine for a bard on a social mingling mission.

 

[margal]

We often use the music of this artist Dnd music by Ivan Duch
The new album contains songs similar to your description

 

[Piperken]

Three suggestions:

Look up lyrics for "Joxer the Mighty," adjust name & anything between the end rhymes to suit the situation.

Traditional lays & ballads about women dressing as Highwaymen, enjoyed a brief period of popularity; lyrics for these can be found as well.

Last, this song has countless variants, but I am partial lyrics wise to this version:

Spoiler: Lyrics

Sir Eglamore that valiant Knight
With his fa, la, lanctree down dillie,
He fetched his sword and he went to fight
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
As he went over hill and dale
All cloathed in his Coat of Male,
With his fa la lanctre, &c.

A huge great Dragon leapt out of his Den
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
Which had killed the Lord knows how many men
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
But when he saw Sir Eglamore
Good lack had you seen how this Dragon did roare
With his fa la lanctre. &c.

This Dragon he had a plaguy hide
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
Which could both sword and spear abide
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
He could not enter with hacks and cuts
Which vext the Knight to his very hearts blood and guts
With his fa la lanctre, &c.

But now as the Knight in choler did burn
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
He owed the Dragon a shrew'd good turn
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
In at his mouth the Sword he bent,
The hilt appear'd at his fundament,
With his fa la, &c.

Then the Dragon like a coward began to fly
With his fa la lanctre, &c
.Unto his Den that was hard by
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
And there he laid him down and roar'd
The Knight was vexed for his Sword
With a fa la lanctre, &c.

When all this was done, to the Alehouse he went
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
And by and by his tuppence he spent
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
For he was so hot with tuging with the Dragon
That nothing would quench him but a whole Flagon.
With his fa la lanctre, &c.

Now God preserve our King and Queen,
With his fa la lanctre, &c.
And eke in London may be seen,
with his fa la lanctre, &c.
As many Knights and as many more,
And all so good as Sir Eglamore!
With his fa la langtre down dillie.

 

[Snarf Zagyg]

Hey!
I do not like your college bard
I think that you're a big blowhard
I do not like you in my game
I do not like your songs- so lame
I do not like that you're alive
I hope you do not take a wife
I hope you don't decide to breed
Cause that's more bards we do not need

I do not think you‘re magical
I hate you and your fancy school
You're wrong about the martial class
I hope they kick your bardic a—
I do not like you in this game of ours
I'd rather live on planet Mars
And die from lack of oxygen
Than see you breathe the air of other men
Hey!