D&D General How you would have done the Dungeons and Dragons' movie - 80's edition

[MostlyHarmless42]

I wouldn't. Not only was I not alive for the vast majority of the 80s, I think the 80s esthetic largely does NOT vibe or mix well with the type of stories that would fit DnD. Mainly because I have VERY strong opinions that electric instruments/heavy metal do NOT belong in the fantasy genre. It's horribly anachronistic and jarring to watch. I also largely think 80s nostalgia is incredibly overrated to almost a point where the veneration of it is almost a cliche or parody in and of itself and is, like all other forms of nostalgia, largely based entirely on rose-tinted goggles and is arguably toxic to modern audiences. Especially considering that no one currently under the age of 35 was even alive during that decade.

Having said all that, if one wants to truly capture a film in the 80s fantasy style, you need to include:

• Blatant sexism and homophobia, typically in the form of a female character being reduced to eye candy or an object of affection for the male lead, and a homesexual stereotype side-character whose comic relief or the villain.
• Likely also implied racism
• Some sort of toxic bullying and the implication that being a nerd is somehow demeaning, even if they are your pimary demographic.
• Some sort of blatantly obvious repressed homosexual vibes in the form of an oiled up shirtless muscle man barbarian.
• Some blantant product placement, preferably from a fast food company and happy meal toy tie-in.
• Some action figure tie in toy line.
• Some sort of power metal, likely feature either Queen or another equally popular band
• And, of course, the most important thing: an insane director and executive board all strung out on coke who have no clue why people love the original source material. Bonus points if it's a Winestein production.

 

[Stormonu]

I love Krull. I bought Horner's Krull double CD box set when it first went out of print and it set me back over $120. I still consider it among his best work (if not THE best work).

I never understood the love of that movie. Even back when it came out, I thought it was cheesy.

I honestly don't remember much recollection of the movie, so for me it was very forgettable for the little bit I watched.

According to Arnies IMDB page the Legend of Conan is still in pre-production. I think as far as cinematic Conan is concerned; people will always associate him with Conan. So, until he either retires, dies, or that movie gets made with him, rebooting it with another actor again will probably fall flat.

Someone's already pointed this out I think, but there's already been a non-Arnold Conan movie not too long ago and it bombed hard.

There was an animated Dragonlance film and it absolutely bombed.

I was trying to keep that wiped from my memory, thanks.

 

[jdrakeh]

Because they went cheap on it.

I think budget was the least of its problems. I mean, it had very typical 80s-90s style animation and big name actors doing the voices (but not very experienced voice actors*, which I think was a big part of the problem). I think the biggest issue was trying to cram a full length novel into 90s minutes of film. It probably should've been longer at the very least. And, again, I think they should've cast more experienced voice actors, rather than simply banking on actors with name cache to lure in viewers.

*None of them really had much experience as voice actors prior to the film, and many of them still lack such experience.

 

[mamba]

I wouldn't. Not only was I not alive for the vast majority of the 80s, I think the 80s esthetic largely does NOT vibe or mix well wit the type of stories DnD would mix well

ha, going by what you wrote, it is good that you wouldn’t. Tell me that you hate the 80s without telling me that you hate them… also, when I look at the last years, the 80s were not more sexist, homophobic, etc. than what I see today, if anything we have gone backwards, but maybe that is because I moved to the US 15 years ago

 

[jdrakeh]

I never understood the love of that movie. Even back when it came out, I thought it was cheesy.

Well, I was like six years old when it came out, so that probably has something to do with it.

I was trying to keep that wiped from my memory, thanks.

Sorry about that.

 

[Stormonu]

also, when I look at the last years, the 80s were not more sexist, homophobic, etc. than what I see today, if anything we have gone backwards, but maybe that is because I moved to the US 15 years ago

Having lived through that time period (and wishing I could go back and stay in '81-'83), there has been a LOT of progress in those areas since those days, though there are still holdouts.

 

[TiQuinn]

I wouldn't. Not only was I not alive for the vast majority of the 80s, I think the 80s esthetic largely does NOT vibe or mix well with the type of stories that would fit DnD. Mainly because I have VERY strong opinions that electric instruments/heavy metal do NOT belong in the fantasy genre. It's horribly anachronistic and jarring to watch. I also largely think 80s nostalgia is incredibly overrated to almost a point where the veneration of it is almost a cliche or parody in and of itself and is, like all other forms of nostalgia, largely based entirely on rose-tinted goggles and is arguably toxic to modern audiences. Especially considering that no one currently under the age of 35 was even alive during that decade.

Having said all that, if one wants to truly capture a film in the 80s fantasy style, you need to include:

• Blatant sexism and homophobia, typically in the form of a female character being reduced to eye candy or an object of affection for the male lead, and a homesexual stereotype side-character whose comic relief or the villain.
• Likely also implied racism
• Some sort of toxic bullying and the implication that being a nerd is somehow demeaning, even if they are your pimary demographic.
• Some sort of blatantly obvious repressed homosexual vibes in the form of an oiled up shirtless muscle man barbarian.
• Some blantant product placement, preferably from a fast food company and happy meal toy tie-in.
• Some action figure tie in toy line.
• Some sort of power metal, likely feature either Queen or another equally popular band
• And, of course, the most important thing: an insane director and executive board all strung out on coke who have no clue why people love the original source material. Bonus points if it's a Winestein production.

So blatant homophobia or homosexual vibes? Which is it going to be?

Implied racism, sexism, homophobia? Okay, but why is that specifically an 80s trait? Have you watched any comedies from the 90s or 00s?

As for the power metal/Queen stuff - okay, I'm thinking of Flash Gordon and Highlander. Both still highly watched as cult classics. But I can name a whole lot of other fantasy movies that had none of those. Conan The Barbarian? Dragonslayer? Clash of the Titans? Krull? Think you missed the mark here.

Weinstein got his start in the 80s in arthouse style movies but I feel he hit his stride in the 90s, so that feels out of place.

Toxic bullying is simply a product of the 80s? News to me.

Product placement and toy tie-ins are just relegated to the 80s? Really?

 

[jdrakeh]

Weinstein got his start in the 80s in arthouse style movies but I feel he hit his stride in the 90s, so that feels out of place.

His big breakout film was actually a b-movie horror slasher that has since become a cult classic.

 

[Charlaquin]

ha, going by what you wrote, it is good that you wouldn’t. Tell me that you hate the 80s without telling me that you hate them… also, when I look at the last years, the 80s were not more sexist, homophobic, etc. than what I see today, if anything we have gone backwards, but maybe that is because I moved to the US 15 years ago

It’s a mixed bag. We can get married now, its possible to be openly trans instead of having to go from one type of closet directly into another, and there’s no longer a free pass on transphobic or homophobic “jokes” in mainstream media. On the other hand, one of the country’s two major political parties is running on a platform built on actively trying to do a genocide on us, so that’s not great. Basically, we traded broad disdain and euphemistic hate speech for broad acceptance and an active malicious hate campaign. The former was probably safer for those who were both willing and able to keep up a “respectable” front, while the latter is probably better for those who won’t or can’t. But, I’m genuinely worried for our physical safety if this election doesn’t go our way.

 

[TiQuinn]

His big breakout film was actually a b-movie horror slasher that has since become a cult classic.

Which one was that?

I associate him with the Tarantino films (and many of its derivatives in the 90s), Shakespeare in Love, The English Patient, etc.