Is that a serious question?
I certainly would ask it earnestly.
Do you think Musk's question--the thing that kicked off this thread--is tolerant? Do you think it is a reasonable and appropriate response?
And, as a kicker, do you think that that might set a tone for the conversation?
Who is treating you like an enemy? It kind of feels like an attitude that perpetuates conflict to me.
I mean, Elon Musk explicitly is so. We've already had at least one person red-texted for falling in the same general camp. And there is a clear and concerted push against ever allowing criticism of Gygax to just...stand. That it
has to, 100% of the time, always be tempered by lengthy explanations of how he was actually a super good person and a wonderful father and a loving husband and totally helped some early women in the industry (without any comments on what
those women themselves said about their employment, as Steampunkette has noted).
It's not hard to feel you're being silenced when someone tells you you're never allowed to actually express a simple negative opinion, but everyone else is always allowed to express their positive opinions. Which they do. Frequently, and without any demand for nuance.
Your position seems a bit... militaristic.
Not touching this with a ten foot pole. I hope you understand why such an accusation is, itself, a form of labelling someone as an enemy.
How can it be "a bit" black and white? Either there are shades of grey or there are not. I don't really understand how it is possible to be
slightly absolutist.
So, here's the thing. I've said this a few times, and neither you nor
@Bedrockgames has bitten. Why is it you only ask for nuance in threads that involve
negative statements about an influential person?
We've had dozens, probably
hundreds of threads this year where Gary Gygax has been either the core topic, extremely relevant to the core topic, or coming up as an important but secondary reference while discussing the core topic. Not one single one of those threads, to the best of my knowledge, included even a hint of a whisper of a suggestion of an idea of discussing Gygax's views on women (or any other hot-button issues, for that matter.) At no point, in any of those threads, did anyone currently calling for "nuance" demand that we make room for greater criticism because, for all the good Gygax did, he also did some bad.
So. Why the asymmetry? Why is nuance only required when discussing the bad side? Why is it we not only can have, not only do have, but
almost exclusively get threads that talk about the positive? Or at absolute worst, do something like "Was Gary's impact overblown?"/"Did Dave do more than Gary?" etc. Why don't
those threads need more nuance, but this thread does?
Why can't we have the rare, occasional thread where we just talk about the bad, and leave the discussion of the good for the
dozens of other threads?
You're being a bit coy about what you're actually trying to communicate for some reason, but the whiff of what's coming across is unpleasant frankly.
I cannot speak for them, but I can speak for me.
Demands for "nuance" are one of the most common tactics for preventing others from ever actually discussing criticisms of bad behavior. "Nuance" is an almost magic word that transmutes any criticism into praise, with the negative being banished to the furthest corners, downplayed, diluted, re-framed, etc., until no substantive criticism remains. Notice how every piece of evidence is dismissed as being a joke, or being hyperbole, or conflicting with anecdote or rumor, or being incorrect because it doesn't come from alleged authority figures on the topic ("friends and family"), or having more than one possible interpretation. The net effect is that
no criticism is ever allowed. All criticism gets dismissed as "uncharitable" or "hearsay" or "well you don't KNOW that it could ONLY be that, therefore you can never claim that it was."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to be against intolerance... unless you're presented with something you disagree with, then your intolerance is justified.
Again, the so-called paradox of intolerance is only when you view the tolerator as somehow violating a right or privilege of the intolerant. That's a very weird way to view it. The tolerator is, in most cases, quite passive--tolerance is about
allowing things, or occasionally
promoting things, not about forcing things. This goes wrong when the intolerant person does something which causes harm, or contributes to it. It is a generally accepted principle of morality, for (I would argue) essentially all human beings barring personality disorders like ASPD, that people in general are obliged to prevent harm when they are reasonably able to do so.
For example, intentionally killing another human being is usually the crime of murder--but if you were defending your own life or the life of another, and took every reasonable step you could to protect that life short of killing before reluctantly taking that final step, that is an essentially-universally accepted defense. Not because it is somehow now okay to take human lives, but because
with these caveats, we recognize that the taking of a life was not criminal. Why is it that nobody talks about the "paradox of murder," that to kill a murderer before they can murder someone else isn't murder? It's exactly the same logic! Somehow (nearly) everyone clearly groks the issue when it's a much more dramatic and serious one, but starts waxing lyrical and philosophic when it is a far, far lesser issue.
An intolerant viewpoint or belief that is not shared, or that is shared but only in private company to others who share it or don't care either way, does no harm and in general contributes to no harm (though there may be cases where it does, I doubt there is any method to address them that would not be more harmful). An intolerant viewpoint or belief that is openly expressed in public both causes and invites harm. The tolerant person is not obligated to just accept harm caused nor harm invited. The whole point of tolerance is to
avoid harm caused/invited.