D&D General A Rant: DMing is not hard.

[prabe]

Hello. I'm one of the supposedly rare specimens that find GM-ing very difficult.

1. I find improv hard. It's very difficult for me to handle situations that are far out of what I've prepared, and that happens like all the time.
2. I find people management difficult. Dealing with people who are late or disruptive. Or how to give them the plot hooks they are interested in.
3. I have a hard time being in the spotlight. It gives me a lot of anxiety, and it doesn't feel like it gets any easier the more I do it.

In addition, I also had a really bad experience (as a player) once with another player, which lead to me severing my relationship with them. This experience haunts me to this day, and makes me extra anxious about running or playing games with new people.

To sum up, I absolutely agree that DM-ing can come more naturally to some folks—my partner, for instance, who spends less than a fraction of time reading / researching, runs absolutely banger sessions. But I am not gifted with the social & improv chops. And I didn't start the hobby at 10 years old with lots of room to fail and retry.

EDIT: Changed generalizing statement in final paragraph to make it specifically about me. "Not everyone is gifted" => "I am not gifted" & "Not everyone started the hobby" => "I didn't start the hobby"

I can think of at least three people in my circles who share at least one of your three reasons for finding GMing difficult, and I can think of at least one other who routinely has routinely needed breaks from it to reassemble in his head how he wanted to do it (though the last friend has mostly lost the hobby, I think). Obviously, some people won't find it easy, and some people will enjoy it less than others. Human variation is real.

I hope you at least get some enjoyment out of it.

 

[Scott Christian]

DMing is not that hard.

DMing is not hard. DMing well is hard. DMing a great interconnected campaign is extremely difficult.

You would be silly to think that there is no difference between a polished DM who is prepping and working hard, and a person who is not.

 

[Reynard]

DMing is not hard. DMing well is hard. DMing a great interconnected campaign is extremely difficult.

Let's not put the cart before the horse. We aren't talking about being amazing out of the gate. that is, in fact, exactly the problem here: making it sound like one simply can't run a fun game for their friends the first time they GM is discouraging people to give GMing a try. We should stop doing that.

You would be silly to think that there is no difference between a polished DM who is prepping and working hard, and a person who is not.

One would certainly be silly thinking that. But since I have not seen anyone posit that here, it seems a bit out of left field.

 

[Scott Christian]

Let's not put the cart before the horse. We aren't talking about being amazing out of the gate. that is, in fact, exactly the problem here: making it sound like one simply can't run a fun game for their friends the first time they GM is discouraging people to give GMing a try. We should stop doing that.

One would certainly be silly thinking that. But since I have not seen anyone posit that here, it seems a bit out of left field.

I am not talking about beginners running a game and not having fun. The quote I responded to was: "DMing is not that hard." And, like I said, DMing is not hard. But to do it well is hard. This doesn't mean groups can't have fun with an ok or sub-par DM. They can. But, if as a player, you are expecting great thing for your year-long campaign, then the DM needs skill, experience, and hard work - and that is the opposite of "not that hard." It is hard, and most players I know can't do it.

 

[Reynard]

I am not talking about beginners running a game and not having fun. The quote I responded to was: "DMing is not that hard." And, like I said, DMing is not hard. But to do it well is hard. This doesn't mean groups can't have fun with an ok or sub-par DM. They can. But, if as a player, you are expecting great thing for your year-long campaign, then the DM needs skill, experience, and hard work - and that is the opposite of "not that hard." It is hard, and most players I know can't do it.

Your expectations are too high, and your language fits directly into the discouraging, negative attitude I wish would go away.

That "sub par" GM is very likely going to get better as that year long campaign progresses, simply by virtue of practice and -- if the players are not jerks about it -- enthusiasm.

Exclusionary, elitist attitudes are more dangerous to people trying out GMing than rule book intimidation.

 

[Hussar]

When you talk about "many of us", you do realize that you're talking about a small minority of DMs, right? Even back in the 90s there were multiple editions, not just OD&D, 1e and 2e but multiple versions with incompatible rules being sold at the same time. I don't see how today's environment is all that much worse. I get that it can be overwhelming at times, that's why I would recommend someone starting from scratch start out with a small campaign using just the free basic rules even if only for a short mini-campaign.

Well, yes and no. For example, you talk about starting at an FLGS. For lots of us back in the day, that wasn't an option. The FLGS was driving distance away and not accessible for 13 year old me. Without any contact with other gamers, outside of maybe the odd Dragon magazine, there was one set of rules to worry about. Sure, some people might bring out another game from time to time, but, by and large, that was a rarity, not the regular.

Even though there might have been multiple versions of D&D, they were all largely compatible (you could easily play Keep on the Borderlands with a 2e D&D group, for example). There weren't a half dozen versions of incompatible D&D, let alone a hundred different RPG's out there. The idea of "story game" or "narrative game" or "indie game" wouldn't even be thought about for another ten years and even if they started out in the 90's, the overwhelming majority of gamers would have virtually no contact with most other gaming systems.

"Free basic rules" for example, Those didn't exist. There were no "Free basic rules" in the 80's and 90's. There were no "starter sets" back then. The only thing close was Basic/Expert and even that was pretty chunky.

 

[Cadence]

That "sub par" GM is very likely going to get better as that year long campaign progresses, simply by virtue of practice and -- if the players are not jerks about it -- enthusiasm.

I would guess that a "year long campaign" is likely not the best thing for a lot (most? almost all?) DMs in training who have never run before. Maybe start with something that just lasts a few sessions that fits in between the longer campaigns going on or when a break from them is needed (maybe a few shorter things like that depending on how they go). Then maybe go to something that is planed to last a few months to get practice with longer things and advancement. And then when that works try and jump into the regular rotation of year- or multi-year-long things (maybe expanding on that thing that was to last a few months).

I wonder how long it takes most people to show they can handle DMing well in something longer? My guess is if they were vaguely experienced players, and they remember the game is also for their players and not just themselves, that it doesn't take long to get good-enough.

In any case it would feel odd to me to expect my friends to dedicate all of their time for an entire year in an activity to help me get good at it. Just as it would feel odd to me not to spend some of my gaming time to give the new DM a chance to practice.

 

[definiteFreakyFishGuy]

DMing is not hard. DMing well is hard. DMing a great interconnected campaign is extremely difficult.

You would be silly to think that there is no difference between a polished DM who is prepping and working hard, and a person who is not.

I don't mean to single you out, but I feel like this phrase was repeated a number of times in this thread: "DMing is not hard. DMing well is hard."

I dislike this phrase. I feel like there is an implication that long as you are not trying to do it well, DM-ing is easy. But, then try replacing "DMing" with anything else:

• "Doing math is not hard. Doing math well is hard."
• "Baking is not hard. Baking well is hard."
• "Acting is not hard. Acting well is hard."

Do you feel like these alternate statements above are true? I certainly don't, the same way I disagree with "DMing is not hard. DMing well is hard."

I would say "(For me) DMing is hard. DMing well is much harder."

 

[MNblockhead]

The real challenge for adults, I've found, is to retain a sense of play. Those who do, those who don't mind or can laugh off looking dumb and making mistakes, who can enjoy doing something for the fun of it are the ones most likely to find themselves good at something, often precisely because becoming good at it was never the main goal in the first place. It applies to being a GM as much as it does cooking, painting, photography, music, bowling, fishing, learning a new language, and many other things adults take up as a hobby.

 

[Reynard]

I would guess that a "year long campaign" is likely not the best thing for a lot (most? almost all?) DMs in training who have never run before. Maybe start with something that just lasts a few sessions that fits in between the longer campaigns going on or when a break from them is needed (maybe a few shorter things like that depending on how they go). Then maybe go to something that is planed to last a few months to get practice with longer things and advancement. And then when that works try and jump into the regular rotation of year- or multi-year-long things (maybe expanding on that thing that was to last a few months).

I wonder how long it takes most people to show they can handle DMing well in something longer? My guess is if they were vaguely experienced players, and they remember the game is also for their players and not just themselves, that it doesn't take long to get good-enough.

In any case it would feel odd to me to expect my friends to dedicate all of their time for an entire year in an activity to help me get good at it. Just as it would feel odd to me not to spend some of my gaming time to give the new DM a chance to practice.

You should read the post I was responding to.