RPG Evolution: The Quest for the Table

One of my goals that I've failed at year after year was finding an in-person gaming group. This year, it's time to change that.

Finding a Neutral Space​

I finally decided it’s time to go back to playing Dungeons & Dragons in-person. As an adult, this is a lot harder than it sounds.

The first challenge I had to address was finding a neutral space. But finding a space that would work for me as a Dungeon Master and for other players is no simple task. I decided I would travel no further than a half hour at most, since I will need to transport miniatures and maps. With those parameters set, I then searched places online that might be suitable.

I needed a place where I could play for a reasonable fee, have players join easily, have space to sit for at least 4 or more hours every week on weekends, and could be loud enough to play a game of D&D without disrupting others (but not so loud we couldn't hear each other). I also wanted it to be an adults-only game and needed some means of finding players. With these parameters in mind, I contacted game cafes, game stores, and libraries.

Roadblocks and Budgeting​

The two game cafes in my town closed, devastated by Covid, so unfortunately though their ghosts still linger online, they weren’t going to be any help. Two different game stores reached out and may still be an option, but the "catching" mechanism—how to actually organize and seat players—is always an open question (it was mentioned there is a very long list of folks who want to play D&D). My local library responded that while they offer 2 hours of free time in their rooms (for studying), for larger rooms it would cost $25 for the first two hours, with an additional $25/hour after that. $100/week ($400/month) did not seem feasible.

The Gamer’s Dream Location​

And then a librarian intervened. As we’ve discussed before, a lot of librarians are gamer geek friendly, and my local librarian jumped into the (typical response) conversation to ask if I wanted to run an adult-only session of D&D. With her help, things accelerated quickly: I now have a location with a dedicated room, a regular date and time, and a catching mechanism for players. The first weekend of every month will be to onboard new players, with the other three weekends the "regular" game. As originally envisioned, we'd have seven slots in total for the regular game, with the "session zero/onboarding" session having eight. The room had a TV I can use and even allowed snacks! It was a gamer’s dream, and it’s five minutes from my house.

It also wasn't going to be where I ended up, but more on that later.

Beginning the Community Build​

I cannot emphasize how challenging this is as an adult. Putting aside the extreme social anxiety of trying to game with strangers, having an ally in the library space help me set this up, even to just try it and see, is enormous. I may still resume a rhythm with the game stores, as the library hours will not always be the same in the summer, but for now, I am immensely grateful for my local library in helping me do this.

This will be good for me. But it will also be an opportunity to build a gamer community. I don’t have any players yet, which is daunting unto itself, but no matter. We have to start somewhere, right?

 

[Cergorach]

The term 'neutral space' threw me for a loop, I was initially thinking of a room's design being neutral... My mind went, what a strange requirement for a gaming nerd... Then it clicked, a 'neutral space', as in: At no one's home where the homeowner is at the social 'advantage'. I get that.

 

[payn]

Building a gamer community and finding an in person group are not exactly the same. I think communities are built around organized play. The advantage of that is no person is critical (perhaps except for the organizer). Players can show up at their convenience. New players are always arriving, old ones sticking or leaving, etc.. It's from this experience I build that regular gaming group with cream of the crop Id call it. Folks whose personalities gel with my own. Their gaming interests align, and they are reliable to attend a regular session.

In my experience, most FLGS are not only cool with organized play, but openly encourage it. So, finding a space isnt that difficult. (Though im in the twin cities and im finding out our FLGS per capita is off the charts.) Later on for my regular in person group, I usually resort to a residence for the privacy and convenience of hours. At this point, I should know folks well enough to trust and feel safe moving into this type of arrangement.

 

[sevenbastard]

I was lucky for my last time i ran in person the apartment building i lived in had a great common room. I got to game from home without having to let people into my home.

I ran a regulat campaign in a game store as well. It was fine, but being in a public spot lead to a lot of distractions from folks coming up to ask questions and such.

 

[Von Ether]

I'm in that pickle right now.

My previously open table at a game store, which now has become very busy on the Sundays hours we want to play. It became a private game due to a player becoming GM and he didn't want to raise his voice so he hosted at his home with lots of snacks.

Do to both recent medical issues and family obligations, he lost his gaming room and he can't really GM at this time. We don't want to go back to the noisy, crowded store (It's a great place, so great that people don't want to leave after their Magic/40K tournament is done. They'd rather stand in the middle of everything and keep chatting.)

But yeah, the libraries charge per 15 minutes and the nearby Dunkin Donuts conference room is $14/hr. There is a great Mythos themed escape room literarily down the street from me but they wanted $50 an hour, which would be pricey even if we were doing CoC or Magnus Archives.

As for a gamer community, it is tough but the main thing is to keep showing up and be a nice, pleasant person. Eventually people start to check your stuff out.

 

[payn]

I'm in that pickle right now.

My previously open table at a game store, which now has become very busy on the Sundays hours we want to play. It became a private game due to a player becoming GM and he didn't want to raise his voice so he hosted at his home with lots of snacks.

Do to both recent medical issues and family obligations, he lost his gaming room and he can't really GM at this time. We don't want to go back to the noisy, crowded store (It's a great place, so great that people don't want to leave after their Magic/40K tournament is done. They'd rather stand in the middle of everything and keep chatting.)

The after wargame chat and cool down is definitely a thing. We often end up in the parking lot for 30-60 min after close tailgating. Its interesting because I dont ever do this with RPGs. I tend to see FLGS as community places and expect them to be kind of noisy. Which I suppose is why I dont like playing RPGs at game stores.

But yeah, the libraries charge per 15 minutes and the nearby Dunkin Donuts conference room is $14/hr. There is a great Mythos themed escape room literarily down the street from me but they wanted $50 an hour, which would be pricey even if we were doing CoC or Magnus Archives.

As for a gamer community, it is tough but the main thing is to keep showing up and be a nice, pleasant person. Eventually people start to check your stuff out.

Yeah, putting your constructive energy in the best places will pay out, IME.

 

[Von Ether]

The after wargame chat and cool down is definitely a thing. We often end up in the parking lot for 30-60 min after close tailgating. Its interesting because I dont ever do this with RPGs. I tend to see FLGS as community places and expect them to be kind of noisy. Which I suppose is why I dont like playing RPGs at game stores.

The Magic players as well, so it might be linked to decompressing after a competitive scene or comparing the meta after tournament?

 

[payn]

The Magic players as well, so it might be linked to decompressing after a competitive scene or comparing the meta after tournament?

That is likely. Also, its a social outlet where we talk about life, family, etc.. It reminds me of my old man after his softball games. They would talk a little about the game and upcoming games, but it was social hour mostly.