First, you don't have it as bad as some (there's another post with attendance problems: http://enworld.cyberstreet.com/showthread.php?threadid=32134).
But let's face it, you've got a problem with your players. Now any roleplaying is a social experience, as is story telling and joke telling...
For a twisted looked at modern life, let me suggest the following articles:
Iranian rogue swindled by sorcerer:
http://www.reuters.com/news_article.jhtml?type=humannews&StoryID=1694491
Attack of the dire squirrel
http://www.reuters.com/news_article.jhtml?type=humannews&StoryID=1694441
Naga...
I want to make sure I've got this right: that when a metamagic feat is applied to a spell, it takes a slot of a higher level and is created as if of that higher level, but it remains a spell of the original level for basing the saving throw determination.
Thus, an empowered fireball takes up a...