"Theo Starts a Fight," or "The Perils of Infidelity!"
Well, it looks like we've had a productive week, because it's already post time again.
SHHH! I'm hunting wabbits.
Wabbits?
OK - wats.
You mean rats?
Well, mice.
You're hunting mice. You got a permit for that?
Look out behind you - he's trying to get flank!
Flank from what? The only other person here is you. He needs another flanker to... nevermind.
Hee hee!
Anyway, while D'Shai is busy decimating the local rodent population I should probably get this underway.
Tip of the Day!
Oh yeah - Tip of the Day:
If the person you are attacking is several size catagories larger than you, taunting him is not your best tactic. Just ask the mouse.
Not that this advice will come into play later in the story hour or anything...
*****
"Theo Starts a Fight," or "The Perils of Infidelity!"
The prickly needles of small evergreens brushed against Ander’s cheek as he pushed through the thick branches. The woodsman was awed by the lush underground forest that resided deep within the walls of the kobold citadel. Each tree stood much shorter than normal, about the same height as the ranger, but closer inspection revealed them to be in perfect health despite the lack of any noticeable light source. Even the soil was a good mix: more suited for the wide farms of the southlands than to this underground cavern.
He paused and knelt down in the fertile soil, carefully checking for signs that someone or something else frequented this sunless glade. The ranger pushed aside the lowest branches, checking for but not finding any broken or snapped twigs. He shifted his gaze to the soft soil and checked for track impressions or animal droppings: his search yielded none. With a sigh, the woodsman settled back on his haunches as if pondering his recent search, but the truth was that Ander needed a break.
The company hadn’t traveled very far since Theo had used his healing gift upon the woodsman’s burns, but Ander’s legs were still sore. The wounds themselves were gone, healed by the priest’s magic, but long unused muscles stretched and strained with each step, just as they had when he first took up his staff and bow and started northward. He never realized how much he had come to depend upon Icemantle’s boots until they burned in the worm’s fire. The magical spring that they had added to his steps had become almost a part of him, and now the effort that it took to move seemed strange. Thankfully, the magic of the boots had not been completely lost. Aurora had magically mended and sealed the boots; but they had lost much of their magic, and now only gave Ander that extra spring in short bursts begun with a click of one heel to another.
A firm hand on his shoulder startled the ranger until he realized that it was only Ashrem. The feloine’s skill amazed Ander, at least as much as a tree growing beneath the ground. The scout crouched down to join him and softly informed him of his news. “I have detected the scent of a lone goblin upwind from our position. Should I dispatch him?”
“No, I’ll take care of it. You start moving the rest of the group up and around him. Keep your eyes open for a trail of some sort. I’ll join you when I’m done.” The feloine offered no resistance, simply nodding his head, and retreated back to their companions. I guess it’s time for me to get used to fighting on my own two feet again.
The sword that Meepo had presented him was nothing more than a useless slab of metal after being exposed to the heat generated by the fire worm he had skewered, so Ander slid his staff back out from its loop in his backpack. The balanced wood felt more natural to the ranger than the kobold’s iron sword had and he quietly questioned why he had ever abandoned his wooden friend. Its ironwood shaft offered the woodsman more options both in combat and out.
Weapon now in hand, Ander moved forward in the direction the feloine had indicated would hide his prey. The woodsman moved on his belly, softly creeping towards his unsuspecting victim. Bending aside a sapling the ranger finally caught sight of his target. A single large goblin silently examined one of the small trees, his hands resting casually on a pair of sickles nestled in his belt.
Ander casually scanned his surroundings, checking for any signs to indicate that the goblin had allies close by, while also looking for any tactical advantage the terrain might lend to him. When he was satisfied that they were alone, he rushed from his hiding spot, realizing too late that the goblin had known where he hid.
Despite his lack of total surprise, Ander still knew that he held the advantage. His superior speed from Icemantle’s… Bones! I forgot to click my heels, and I’m not going to make it! He slowed his charge to meet the goblin of equal terms. A string of Ionian curses flowed from his mouth when he also realized that his opponent was not just wildly swinging as most goblins do, but was skillfully attacking with both sickles.
Having lost all his advantages, Ander backpedaled as the Goblin pushed forward with a deadly combination of slashes. To make matters worse, the woodsman knew that if he were pushed back too much further his weapon would be near useless, trapped between the densely packed evergreens. In desperation, Ander used his second weapon: the forest itself.
The woodsman allowed himself to be pushed deeper into the grove and the goblin followed, still swinging his deadly sickles, unhampered by the close fighting space. One, two, three, recover. One more time – one, two… Ander sidestepped his foe’s next swipe and bent a tree over, using it to tangle his opponents curved weapon within its thick branches.
The goblin followed through on the swing, embedding the sickle’s blade deep in the bark, so that when the woodsman released the tree it plucked the sickle from the goblin’s hand and sent it flying end over end into the underbrush. Before the goblin could recover, Ander grabbed the next tree and yanked it back so that on its return it smacked the goblin in the nose, giving it a face full of needles.
The stunned goblin reeled, trying to recover from the unexpected attack, but Ander quickly followed, prodding the blinded goblin with his staff and driving it back to the clearing where his weapon could be used to its full potential. Once he reached the clearing, the woodsman unleashed a furious assault using both ends of the staff. He drove it into the creature’s belly, folding it like a cloth, and then drove it to the ground with an overhand swing. He heard bones breaking as he did, and he finished the goblin off with a swift blow to the neck, mercifully snapping it. The goblin simply lay there, face down, yet belly up.
His combat fever over, Ander felt his legs begin to ache again and he realized that several of the goblin’s swings had managed to draw blood. The wounds were minor though and the ranger applied a small amount of sap to each one to stop the bleeding and hastened to catch his friends.
The woodsman found his companions patiently waiting along a narrow trail. The party had assembled around two more dead goblins outfitted similarly to the one that Ander himself had encountered. Since none of his fellows, or even the surrounding foliage, showed any signs of injury, the ranger figured that they had taken the goblins out quickly, possibly from an ambush. Looks like I’ve been able to rub off on them.
“Glad you could join us lad,” Theo began. “I take it by your presence your endeavor went well.”
“Not as good as yours did, from the looks of it. Did I miss anything?”
Ashrem started to answer but Aurora cut into the conversation. “While you were off trying to get yourself killed, Ashrem found a door further up along this trail. We’ve just been waiting for you to finish your thrillseeking.” Ander cringed, but he knew that even if he explained it, she still wouldn’t understand his reasoning for going alone. Still, he had to try.
“Aurora, I know you don’t…” a sudden shift in the trees caught his eyes. Without any words the woodsman turned his back and drifted into the trees heading in the direction of the motion that caught his eye. The ranger’s senses focused as his body reacted to his heightened sense of danger. His ears heard the whispered words of Theo as he quieted the others until all that was left was the muffled clank of the priest’s armor and Pack’s nervous humming. His eyes spied the swishing needles to his left where Ashrem shadowed his lead. His noise sniffed the soft scent of the evergreens as he pushed his way through the thick branches, every so often catching the scent of the blood that caked his own armor.
He finally passed the tree next to where he saw movement; its lower branches moved slightly, as if stirring in a nonexistent wind. With great care Ander checked each branch on each tree and every indent and depression in the soil around them. Except for the slight movement of the tree, he found nothing. He turned to where he knew Ashrem lay hiding, “What do you think?”
“The scent of the trees is strong, but I don’t smell anything underneath it.”
“I can’t find anything either, but I know its there. I can feel it watching us.”
“I feel it as well; it is as if the eyes of a hunter have marked us as prey. We are not prepared to deal with it here,” Ashrem said as he pulled himself from his hiding spot to look out over the tops of the trees.
“You’re right. Let’s get back to the others, and from here on out keep your eyes open for a good spot to ambush our sneaky friend.”
Ander returned to the trail, and was greeted with the inquisitive gazes of his friends. The woodsman simply shrugged his shoulders and shook his head at them. “I thought I saw something.”
“Yeah, a way to get away from Aurora!” Pack laughed. This brought a swift kick in the halfling’s rear from the sorceress. This in turn was followed by a swift kick from Meepo, who seemed to think it was some sort of game and continued to do it until Aurora stopped him: even then the kobold still tried to kick the halfling after every time he said something. By the time the company reached the door, Pack was in the front of the line and Meepo and Aurora marched at the rear with Theo.
The friends spread out when they came to the door while Ashrem moved forward and began his customary inspection. Ander only casually watched as the feloine carefully traced the door and its frame: he instead kept his eyes open behind them, so when a goblin opened the door, the woodsman was caught off guard.
Ander stood frozen, stunned by the goblins sudden appearance; only when the goblin yelled an alarm did the woodsman finally react. With a surge of power, the ranger brought his staff hard across the creature’s face, shattering its nose and sending blood spraying across the door, but Ander knew it was too late as he heard the sounds of clanking and rasping steel coming from inside the room.
Just as he prepared to back up to face the coming enemy, the woodsman felt Theo blow by him with shield out and mace held ready, driving aside a goblin as he rushed through the door. Ashrem followed him, felling another goblin. Pack, Aurora, and even Meepo poured into the room. A stunned Ander brought up the rear, just in time to see Theo and Ashrem, flanking an already bloodied goblin, put their foe down, while Aurora dealt with another with the light of dragon missiles and Pack’s well place dagger throw dropped the last of the goblin defenders.
Ander found himself even more stunned now, not having realized how much the group had grown as a fighting unit in the past few days. He found himself more than a bit ashamed that he had thought that any of his companions still needed him as their protector. The woodsman stood alone for a moment in contemplation as the group congratulated each other on their victory but then Ashrem brought them more bad news. “Someone is approaching from the other side.”
Contemplation over. “Quick, everyone hide!”
Ander joined the others in the room as they sprang into action. The woodsman watched as Aurora and Meepo climbed behind some barrels nearby and Ashrem slid behind a pile of rubble near the archway on the other side of the room. Pack climbed underneath a trough of soil and what appeared to be black apples while Theo, who Ander realized was not built for hiding, turned hopelessly in a circle seemingly uncertain what to do, until Pack offered a little advice, “Theo, use the elixir that Lizon gave you, Wishbone’s Stealth Brew.”
While Theo searched his backpack for the vial Pack suggested, Ander glided forward and glanced around the archway trying to get a peak at their soon to be visitors. Instead of the company of goblins he expected, the woodsman got a good view of a single goblin leading two humans as they moved up a winding path back towards the room from yet another underground forest.
The first human was a man of Ander’s build and of similar look, except that his skin looked rougher and much darker. The grim look on the man’s face along with the way he brandished his long sword told the woodsman this man followed a different path than his own. Following the swordsman was a rather plump man about Theo’s age wearing only a loincloth around his waist and a single black glove on the same hand that held a gleaming silver edged sickle. Ander could now also tell that the goblin leading them was female and that her skin was also much darker than the ones that they had been fighting; she was waving a small stick around that seemed to be causing the very forest to stir with life.
Whoever these people were, Ander knew that they spelled trouble for his friends.
Turning back into the room, the ranger began to look for his own ambush spot, but stopped as he watched a black mist form around Theo as the priest downed the contents of a small vial. The cloud of darkness rolled around the cleric’s form until it finally settled, blending the light into a natural shadow that completely masked the priest from the woodsman’s sight.
“Theo, move into the corner, you’ll look more natural over there,” Ander whispered as he himself dove behind the same barrels that hid Aurora and Meepo. The woodsman issued one last command as he arranged the barrels to completely cover the three ambushers. “Everyone be ready. There are three of them. Move on my signal.”
The two men and the goblin moved into the room. Ready… Set… Ander looked to his friends and raised a finger, ready to signal the attack. Then the shouting began.
“Look at me! Over here! I am the infidel Mistslayer - the fearsome warrior who sleeps with his best friend’s wife! I have no loyalty - please end my adulterous ways! KILL ME!”
Ander looked over at the source of the noise – a huge translucent mouth that had appeared over Theo’s very flustered face. Whirling colors flowed out from the priest’s body, and as the old man stood Ander saw that he was wreathed in a weak green flame. Motes of colorful light shot out from his body. Worse, the shouting mouth kept screeching the same confession over and over.
“Look at me! Over here! I am the infidel Mistslayer - the fearsome warrior who sleeps with his best friend’s wife! I have no loyalty - please end my adulterous ways! KILL ME!”
This is not going to be good.
*****
Next Time
"There Goes our Surprise Round," or "Who Invited Trogdor the Burninator?"
By the way, D'Shai just cought his limit, and is right now exercising his right to the "Mouse Catch and Release" program.
You're free!
EXCELLENT, GUYS! 
So, I ask again - are you guys going to GenCon????
