D&D General What do I do with a Player who doesn't care about the actual game?

This group definitely sounds like it’s on the younger side?

auburn2 said:

Assuming you are the DM, the easiest thing to do is just kill his character. Then you will avoid the difficult task of confronting the player and explaining how awful he is.

You have to plan it meticulously so it is not obvious though, have a "random' roll to see who the baddie targets, oh my it rolled you. Make your save against disintegration.

Click to expand...

Masterful satire, my dear fellow. Bravo!

I think the problems with this player go far beyond the gaming table. This is not a problem for a DM to solve.

A therapist maybe. Or eventually a parole officer.

robus said:

This group definitely sounds like it’s on the younger side?

Click to expand...

That was the impression I got as well.

Tiefling Works said:

They don't have any socialising issues. They do enjoy D&D, but they would rather do other things. They have tried to convince other players to stop playing D&D and do other things until OotA starts. We have a small One-Shot going while I wait for the book to arrive. I think I will ask if they actually want to play D&D, and if they do I will speak to them about what their goal is. I will also try to show them how to roleplay. Would this be a good idea?

Click to expand...

So what does this person want to do? What's he trying to convince the other players to do? If your social calendars permit it, maybe schedule D&D one day (without him) and then something else this player wants to do another day?

This player sounds like a Topper. Topper is a term I use for a certain personality. Toppers always try and dominate the conversation and "win". If you found a great pizza place, they know of one better. If you got the best deal around, they got the best deal ever possible. If your character's wife was killed by a mindflayer, their character's entire family was killed by a mindflayer. On and on it goes. Toppers cant really be delt with in any way but giving in. You either have to just get used to their obnoxious behavior, or you need to root them out of your life. Can be hard because Toppers are not always bad people, they just have an insufferable personality.

Good Luck.

Tiefling Works said:

We are starting Out of the Abyss soon & there is a player who always wants to be the best character possible. I would allow it, but I don't think they deserve it as much. 1. They don't respect the DM's decisions.
2. They don't roleplay even after we have sent him videos about roleplaying.
3. He is on his phone, playing video games or talking while in the middle of a session.
4. He doesn't care about the enjoyment of the game for other players.
5. He doesn't care if something bad happens to people unless it has repercussions for him.
What should I do?

Click to expand...

Tiefling Works said:

Another problem is that I have spoken to him about what he does, but he still doesn't listen. I don't want to kick him out because he is my friend. Is there another way to make him listen?

Click to expand...

Tiefling Works said:

They don't have any socialising issues. They do enjoy D&D, but they would rather do other things. They have tried to convince other players to stop playing D&D and do other things until OotA starts. We have a small One-Shot going while I wait for the book to arrive. I think I will ask if they actually want to play D&D, and if they do I will speak to them about what their goal is. I will also try to show them how to roleplay. Would this be a good idea?

Click to expand...

Tiefling Works said:

Let me rephrase. He will steal people's backstories just so his character is the best. He will attempt to kill a character just because they have an evil alignment, even though they haven't done anything. We allow him to be a character he wants, but he tries to persuade the DM to have events go the way he wants. This is for all our campaigns.

Click to expand...

Tiefling Works said:

An example:

Session 0. Everyone is making their characters, but a few people are behind. Everyone agreed that we won't have the same backstory unless they are connected in some way. I write about how my wife was killed by a Mind Flayer, and that is why my character hates them. I tell him about it and he says (As a joke) I might make that my backstory. He later decides he is going to make a different character, so he makes one, and it's backstory is how his family was killed by a mind flayer.

Does that sound too similar to my player's?

Click to expand...

The impression I'm getting about this player is that they engage with the game (when they do) as a competition between the actual people at the table. So character creation and writing a backstory becomes a competition between the players as to who can write (or steal) the best backstory and create the "best" character. This extends to PvP within the game, which becomes a testing ground for who built the best character because if my character can kill yours then surely I've made a better character. Influence over in-game events becomes a competition, which in D&D with its "DM decides" resolution framework, becomes a competition about who can best influence the DM, etc.

I think the thing to understand is that this sort of approach is not unusual in games when taken as a whole. No one, for example, would bat an eye if a player in a game of basketball tried to outdo the other players on the court and be the "best" player. This sort of play can involve pushing the rules as far as they will go and even bending or breaking them. People like to think D&D is different in this respect, but it isn't. Engaging with D&D competitively is a perfectly valid way to play if that's your thing. Some people are competitive about roleplaying. However, in a group that doesn't enjoy this sort of competition, it can be disruptive, which I think is what we're seeing here. Without knowing more about what you and the rest of your group want out of the game, I can't really say any more about what the actual problem is. Perhaps you're all more interested in exploring what it's like to be adventurers in a fantasy world or actively contributing to the creation of a memorable story.

The solution, as it seems to me, is to have a serious conversation with this player about what you each enjoy and want out of the game and see if there's some accommodation that can be made that will make everyone happy. It may be the case, though, that your game is simply not a good fit for this player. For example, if they have no one to compete with, they might get bored.

Tiefling Works said:

Another problem is that I have spoken to him about what he does, but he still doesn't listen. I don't want to kick him out because he is my friend. Is there another way to make him listen?

Click to expand...

A friend would listen and stop acting like an ass. Dump him from the group and as a 'friend'.

Tiefling Works said:

We are starting Out of the Abyss soon & there is a player who always wants to be the best character possible. I would allow it, but I don't think they deserve it as much. 1. They don't respect the DM's decisions.
2. They don't roleplay even after we have sent him videos about roleplaying.
3. He is on his phone, playing video games or talking while in the middle of a session.
4. He doesn't care about the enjoyment of the game for other players.
5. He doesn't care if something bad happens to people unless it has repercussions for him.
What should I do?

Click to expand...

Easy, don't play with them. Don't invite them to future games. If everyone else is having fun, and you have tried to make it so this player can have fun, even talking to them about what would make it fun for them, tried those things, and none of it works for you or the group, just drop them.

payn said:

This player sounds like a Topper. Topper is a term I use for a certain personality. Toppers always try and dominate the conversation and "win". If you found a great pizza place, they know of one better. If you got the best deal around, they got the best deal ever possible. If your character's wife was killed by a mindflayer, their character's entire family was killed by a mindflayer. On and on it goes. Toppers cant really be delt with in any way but giving in. You either have to just get used to their obnoxious behavior, or you need to root them out of your life. Can be hard because Toppers are not always bad people, they just have an insufferable personality.

Good Luck.

Click to expand...

Dilbert's version: