D&D General What do I do with a Player who doesn't care about the actual game?

[Tiefling Works]

We are starting Out of the Abyss soon & there is a player who always wants to be the best character possible. I would allow it, but I don't think they deserve it as much. 1. They don't respect the DM's decisions.
2. They don't roleplay even after we have sent him videos about roleplaying.
3. He is on his phone, playing video games or talking while in the middle of a session.
4. He doesn't care about the enjoyment of the game for other players.
5. He doesn't care if something bad happens to people unless it has repercussions for him.
What should I do?

 

[Morrus]

I’m only seeing one side of this. But on the face of it, this person doesn’t want to be there.

Is he your friend? Why is he there? Can you do some other activity with him?

Have you spoken to him about it?

Playing video games in the middle of a session is just plain rude. That’s not a D&D issue, that’s basic socialisation.

 

[el-remmen]

We are starting Out of the Abyss soon & there is a player who always wants to be the best character possible. I would allow it, but I don't think they deserve it as much. 1. They don't respect the DM's decisions.
2. They don't roleplay even after we have sent him videos about roleplaying.
3. He is on his phone, playing video games or talking while in the middle of a session.
4. He doesn't care about the enjoyment of the game for other players.
5. He doesn't care if something bad happens to people unless it has repercussions for him.
What should I do?

I think I've played with this guy. We were happy when he left the group.

 

[beast013]

Unless there is an overriding issues that you did not mention (significant other, etc) you need to bounce them. This is going to be an on-going distraction to the group. I call this addition by subtraction.

 

[ShinHakkaider]

We are starting Out of the Abyss soon & there is a player who always wants to be the best character possible. I would allow it, but I don't think they deserve it as much. 1. They don't respect the DM's decisions.
2. They don't roleplay even after we have sent him videos about roleplaying.
3. He is on his phone, playing video games or talking while in the middle of a session.
4. He doesn't care about the enjoyment of the game for other players.
5. He doesn't care if something bad happens to people unless it has repercussions for him.
What should I do?

Show them the door.

Why?
Points 1, 3 are problematic but 4 and 5 are big issues and trying to resolve those are going to be a waste of time. If those two points aren't something that this person automatically takes into consideration from the jump? They don't need to be there.

 

[iserith]

Have a conversation outside the context of the game. Say what you and the group want. Ask what he wants. Find common ground if you can and build from there. If no compromise can be had, or if an agreement is reached that isn't being honored, then part ways.

 

[Tiefling Works]

Another problem is that I have spoken to him about what he does, but he still doesn't listen. I don't want to kick him out because he is my friend. Is there another way to make him listen?

 

[ShinHakkaider]

Another problem is that I have spoken to him about what he does, but he still doesn't listen. I don't want to kick him out because he is my friend. Is there another way to make him listen?

NO.

Boot him.

I dont understand the problem here. His actions are kind of disrespectful and they know it. This is not the action of a "friend".

 

[Zardnaar]

Just got rid of one of them the other day. Turns out he is currently also barred from the Warhammer shop and expelled from an RPG society in a different city.

So yeah boot them.

 

[humble minion]

Another problem is that I have spoken to him about what he does, but he still doesn't listen. I don't want to kick him out because he is my friend. Is there another way to make him listen?

Ask him what he wants, don't MAKE him listen. Is he enjoying himself? If the whole D&D experience isn't his thing (and it's not for everyone), then you're probably both better off if he leaves the group. He's not going to enjoy the sort of game the rest of you want, and vice versa

A functional group needs to be on the same page about what to get out of a game. And from point 4 and 5 on your list, this is going to be an issue here. If he's your friend, then find another way to spend time together, which you both actually enjoy.