D&D General What do I do with a Player who doesn't care about the actual game?

[Iry]

Some friends are amazing people, and still cause trouble at the gaming table.
That doesn't make them bad friends, just not right for your table.
It's okay to ask your friend to leave. It's okay if that hurts their feelings a bit.
Real friends can forgive each other over time, and a bit of bumpiness.

 

[Tiefling Works]

They don't have any socialising issues. They do enjoy D&D, but they would rather do other things. They have tried to convince other players to stop playing D&D and do other things until OotA starts. We have a small One-Shot going while I wait for the book to arrive. I think I will ask if they actually want to play D&D, and if they do I will speak to them about what their goal is. I will also try to show them how to roleplay. Would this be a good idea?

 

[Oofta]

They don't have any socialising issues. They do enjoy D&D, but they would rather do other things. They have tried to convince other players to stop playing D&D and do other things until OotA starts. We have a small One-Shot going while I wait for the book to arrive. I think I will ask if they actually want to play D&D, and if they do I will speak to them about what their goal is. I will also try to show them how to roleplay. Would this be a good idea?

As hard as it may be you probably just need to set down some rules about acceptable behavior and expectations. I find it hard to believe that any particular mod is going to change much here. I personally don't care if players don't get into role playing. I prefer if they do get into RP but all you can do is show by example and encourage it. You can lead a horse to water and all.

But they need to accept that the DM makes the final call, that it's a team game and that he needs to limit phone time. If they can't you may need to boot them for the sake of the game. You'll have to decide if it's worth it.

 

[robus]

They don't have any socialising issues. They do enjoy D&D, but they would rather do other things. They have tried to convince other players to stop playing D&D and do other things until OotA starts. We have a small One-Shot going while I wait for the book to arrive. I think I will ask if they actually want to play D&D, and if they do I will speak to them about what their goal is. I will also try to show them how to roleplay. Would this be a good idea?

I think you have your answer. The player would rather be doing something else. They’re at the table because that’s where their friends are. They like D&D, they just don’t like it enough to fully engage.

Time to plan some other activities with this friend and let them leave your game in peace.

 

[Charlaquin]

Another problem is that I have spoken to him about what he does, but he still doesn't listen. I don't want to kick him out because he is my friend. Is there another way to make him listen?

It’s clear your friend isn’t really interested in the game. He’s probably only really playing with you because he’s your friend and it’s something to do together. But he would probably rather be doing something else with you. Don’t think of it as kicking him out of the game, but as no longer dragging him along. You can still be friends, and do other things together, but trying to play D&D together is not working, so don’t try to force it.

 

[cmad1977]

Give him das boot!

 

[auburn2]

We are starting Out of the Abyss soon & there is a player who always wants to be the best character possible. I would allow it, but I don't think they deserve it as much. 1. They don't respect the DM's decisions.
2. They don't roleplay even after we have sent him videos about roleplaying.
3. He is on his phone, playing video games or talking while in the middle of a session.
4. He doesn't care about the enjoyment of the game for other players.
5. He doesn't care if something bad happens to people unless it has repercussions for him.
What should I do?

Assuming you are the DM, the easiest thing to do is just kill his character. Then you will avoid the difficult task of confronting the player and explaining how awful he is.

You have to plan it meticulously so it is not obvious though, have a "random' roll to see who the baddie targets, oh my it rolled you. Make your save against disintegration.

 

[cmad1977]

Hey it's not 1999!

But I will party that way.

 

[Tiefling Works]

Thank you all for your help. I couldn't appreciate it enough.

 

[Benjamin Olson]

Assuming you are the DM, the easiest thing to do is just kill his character. Then you will avoid the difficult task of confronting the player and explaining how awful he is.

You have to plan it meticulously so it is not obvious though, have a "random' roll to see who the baddie targets, oh my it rolled you. Make your save against disintegration.

What? Why? The person is a friend so they will probably just be irritated before rolling up a new character, with whom they are likely to be even less engaged. The core problem seems to be that they don't really particularly want to play D&D but they are because that is what the group is doing.

There may be occasions with a rando person in a group who aren't actually friends where purposefully killing their character might conceivably make sense as the path of least resistance solution if you think having an actual conversation with them has no chance of success and have strong reason to believe that if their character dies they will just leave the group. I'm still not really recommending it, but sure, it might make... some kind of sense.

But the fact pattern here doesn't really look anything like that. The whole premise, per the title of the thread, is that this player doesn't care about the actual game. Punishing them in game is not only problematic, as always, but probably would achieve nothing.