D&D General What do I do with a Player who doesn't care about the actual game?

[MarkB]

Yeah, I've had a similar player in some games, and in our case he can't be kicked out of the group because it's a gaming club. He plays the simplest characters possible, even then he never learns any but the most basic of their abilities, he literally tunes out completely except when it's his turn (he has to be nudged if someone provokes an Opportunity Attack) and outside combat he's completely uninterested unless there's some opportunity to be disruptive and hopefully kick off a combat.

I have no idea what he gets out of the game. He apparently finds it fulfilling to tune in once every fifteen minutes or so and make an attack roll.

 

[Warpiglet-7]

Another problem is that I have spoken to him about what he does, but he still doesn't listen. I don't want to kick him out because he is my friend. Is there another way to make him listen?

Repeat yourself and use assertive communication.

If that does not work hit him with a stick. Make it hurt. Some. Not too much. Don’t kill him or anything.

 

[Zardnaar]

Repeat yourself and use assertive communication.

If that does not work hit him with a stick. Make it hurt. Some. Not too much. Don’t kill him or anything.

Hey it's not 1999!

 

[iserith]

Another problem is that I have spoken to him about what he does, but he still doesn't listen. I don't want to kick him out because he is my friend. Is there another way to make him listen?

I have friends with whom I don't play D&D. It's possible. Normal even.

 

[Bayushi_seikuro]

It's been my experience with this type of player. Very often in the thirty-years of gaming, it's been a significant other being brought into the game that has zero interest.

They can still be your friend and not have to game if they don't want. Talk to them. Maybe they don't like D&D but would be totally into some other setting/system.

Another issue we don't know is this person in general. Do they have other socialization challenges? I say this as someone with a son on the autism spectrum.

A lot to factor in. I also try to go by the wisdom of Matt Colville - there aren't bad gamers/players. There ARE gamers who are wrong for your table that would absolutely love and be accepted at a different table

 

[Oofta]

Repeat yourself and use assertive communication.

If that does not work hit him with a stick. Make it hurt. Some. Not too much. Don’t kill him or anything.

I use a broom and repeat "Shoo!" loudly and repeatedly. Usually works.

 

[Musing Mage]

I have friends with whom I don't play D&D. It's possible. Normal even.

Now that's just crazy talk!

 

[Oofta]

Like others have said, this person can be a friend but it doesn't sound like they're having much fun. Some people just aren't gamers and that's okay. I can be difficult to have a face-to-face but being open and honest is generally the best policy. If nothing else discuss this over text, but be clear that it seems like he's not enjoying himself and that he shouldn't feel like he has to be in the game.

If game nights are the main time you get to hang out with the person maybe have him suggest some alternative activity he would enjoy. Make time for that other activity even if it means every-other game night is not D&D. You'll be doing him, yourself and fellow players a service.

 

[Umbran]

Ask what he wants.

This is very important. Get a straight answer. What does he actually want from the game?

 

[Gorg]

Just got rid of one of them the other day. Turns out he is currently also barred from the Warhammer shop and expelled from an RPG society in a different city.

So yeah boot them.

Jeez- you'd think they'd get the hint, eventually...

Annoying players are a real pain. If those players are also the S.O. of the DM, a relative etc they're an even bigger pain...

I've left games, because of turds before.

IMO, 1, 3, 4, and 5, are all big red flags. 4 and 5 are deal breakers. 3 is, sadly, becoming a sign of the times- so many people are addicted to their "electronic tit", that they can't put it away...

2 is simply a personal preference/ stylistic difference. Not everyone likes the rp parts as much as others do. Some are uncomfortable doing it. That, can be allowed to slide. If this is one of those RP heavy campaigns, the player may just bow out of their own accord. Heck, I'VE been that guy before, lol. Was totally NOT prepared for how into it they got- and unable to simply come up with that sort of stuff on the fly. Now that I think about it, their style was probably more LARPing than RP'ing. They expected you to actually CAST a spell- verbal and somatic components included! I was between game groups, and the DM seemed like a pretty cool guy. I should have taken his repeated statement that D&D was a ROLE-playing game a bit more seriously, lol. This was totally not my thing, though- so I bowed out after the first session.

On the flip side, we had a player join our group who turned out to be... different. Not a bad guy at all, and a pretty good player- but he had a few ideosynchracies that just rubbed us the wrong way. Apparently, his former group had had some trouble with him, too. One time we were mid-scene, doing whatever, and he suddenly put his thumb up to the side of his head, with his fingers spread- like half of a moose antler, lol. And started asking about something- like it was the most normal thing to do. We were stunned, and just kinda stared at him, like "wut?..." Then busted out laughing. He told us his former group made you do that, if you were going to talk out of character!! I kinda got the idea this was a special rule made up just for him, because he liked to talk a lot. It reminded me of some of the crap the guys in my dorm used to pull on their one roommate. He just didn't get that they didn't like him, and kept trying to hang out- so they tortured him remorselessly.