Crimson Longinus
Legend
I think the question here is 'who decides?'. If your agency depends on petitioning an authority figure for a special exemption, that doesn't feel much like agency to me. If there are situations where the rules as written somehow don't suit the situation at hand (and I'm not at all sure your example would qualify) then what I would seek is for all participants to agree on the fix. But these circumstances should come up very very rarely.
I don't agree. For instance in this case it is unclear to me who "de jure" would even have authority to grant the exception, if anyone. In practice I asked for it and the GM agreed. Was it a GM decision, or a group decision? Unclear, and didn't really matter. Now for the sake of clarity, I think it is better to have procedure for such to be defined in some way, but in case it isn't, people will figure it out.
In my D&D game it is clear that I as GM am one who has authority to override the rules and the players don't. Nevertheless, the players are ones that declare actions for their characters, and if it seems that the rules would get in the way of what would make sense based on the fiction, then I will overrule the rules. Yes, I did it de jure, but it was the players action declaration that prompted me to do it. I think that is some sort of agency.
In any case, I feel the new fictional coherence is more important for agency (and definitely more important for satisfactory roleplay experience) than slavishly following the rules.
However, I agree that such occurrences overriding the rules should be rare, and if they are not, it probably implies some sort of flaw in the system or at least incompatibility with the group's playstyle.