1,327 things you don't want to hear from your fellow party members

[magnas_veritas]

Rogue: "I know! Instead of fighting our way through the front door, let's go in the back way! No one would ever expect that!"

- From our party running through Lord of the Iron Fortress. We then hit the end fight at the beginning.

Rogue (NG Tiefling): "I use the Candle of Invocation to Gate in Mzpopasiel, Leader of the Angels of Wrath!"
DM: "Hrm. Okay, the beholder mage casts banishment. Mzpopasiel should make his SR...can you make an itty-bitty Will save?"
Rogue: "Uh...a 1?"
DM: "Welcome to Banishment-Ville, population: You! And boy, the beholder mage didn't expect that!"

-As it happens, that session kept having my rogue knocked out of the fight without harming him...being swallowed by Baba Yaga's Dancing Hut, being Forcecaged (in an open one, which is why he was able to use the Candle), and then this. It honestly wasn't bad, as I didn't get hurt.

Brad

 

[haiiro]

196. Wild Mage: "I'm done choosing spells. All I did was memorize Nahal's reckless dweomer in every slot."

2e, but so true. I think I even got the number right.

 

[s/LaSH]

197? - "What just went 'click'?"

 

[herald]

198 Yes, I'm questing to remove a curse from my family, you see we all have spastic colons.

 

[Fenes 2]

199 "When talking to a slaver: How much would we get for him/her?" (pointing at fellow party member)
200 "Ok, here is the plan: We let us get captured in order to infiltrate the enemy stronghold..."
201 (Talking to a stranger in the single tavern in a tent village where one PC is held captive): "We want to raid the slaver camp at midnight. If you want to join us, meet us here at dusk." (Turns out the stranger was second in command of the slaver...)

 

[officeronin]

Oldies but goodies!

202 From DM: Debbie, your cleric has been raised to the 8th level. I think it's time that you learn how to REALLY cast spells.

203 From player: It's my fault Black Leaf died. I can't face life alone!

OfficeRonin

 

[Hand of Vecna]

204) "Alright, guys, I'm here. Oh, I know we're playing 3E, but I can't find anything to like about it's rules, so I'm just gonna use my 2nd Ed character I've been playing for the past 20 years -- after all, I still wanna game with y'all. He's a F25/Ps28/Pr30/W50; S: 20, I: 25, W: 25, D: 25, Co: 25, Ch:19, and 600 PSP's. In converting him, he lost alot of power, so I just kept all his levels..."
205) "oh, and the 150 spells of my own devising didn't seem to convert well, so I'll just use 'em in their 2nd Ed. mode...."
206) "Oh, and 3E Psionics totally sucks, since it treats Psionics as any other type of magic, which is just wrong. The way they were presented in 2nd Ed. is how they'd really work in the Real World, so that's how my Psion's using his..."


[[ something not unlike this happened at a messageboard I co-Admin... ]]

 

[Haldarin]

207: From DM: Actually, it turns you.

208: From Paladin: I’ll interrogate the prisoner.

209: From Fire Mage: Sorry guys, but if Toady can’t go to the lair of the frost giant, neither can I.

210: From Elf: My name is Charawisintheiraxial but you can call me Cha.

211: To the Fighter: He still doesn’t see the illusion? Fine, we leave him here.

212: From the Cleric to the Fighter: Don’t worry about taking point. I’ll heal you if anything goes wrong.

213: From Dragon: I’ve decided to let the bard live. The rest of you are still toast.

214: From Sorcerer: And you said Levitate wasn’t a good spell.

 

[Siridar]

215: "If you've got a two-handed sword, and I've got my sword and shield out, then whose got the torch?"

216: Can I arc the lightning bolt over his head? No? Oh. I cast it anyway.

217: The DM wouldn't do that to us.

218: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.