101 Ways of Knowing your character is too powerful

[Fred Delles]

97. You are wearing the One Ring on one hand, the Infinity Gauntlet on the other hand, The Flash's boots on your feet, a red cloak with a large "S", have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead, and are dual-wielding Excalibur and the Sword of Shannara.

98. When Archimedes mentions "Give me a lever big enough and I shall move the Earth", you say, "I'll take that bet."

 

[Victim]

99. When offered the One Ring, you look at the magic rings on all your fingers, and reply "That cheap POS? Don't insult me!"

 

[KDLadage]

Compiled and re-numbered...

1. You slay oncoming pack of ancient wyrms and the rest of your adventuring party is not impressed with your heroic actions.
2. a) You keep your magic items around only to give them to each villian you fight, just to make it a fair fight. This is due to the fact that you can do everything they can do, only better and you want a challenge once in a while; b) You give powerful artifacts to your enemies and tell them to try harder next time.
3. You are wearing the One Ring on one hand, the Infinity Gauntlet on the other hand, the Flash's boots on your feet, a red cloak with a large stylized S on the front, have a lightning bolt scar on your forehead, and are dual-wielding Excalibur and the Sword of Shannara...
4. When Archimedes mentions "Give me a lever big enough and I shall move the Earth", you say, "I'll take that bet."
5. When offered the One Ring, you look at the magic rings on all your fingers, and reply "That cheap POS? Don't insult me!"
6. You prank call Loki!
7. You stop carrying weapons, they just make it to easy. A good stick will work just as well.
8. You call for divine intervention to clean the troll marshes near your keep, because that kind of work is beneath you.
9. After defeating everything in D&Dg, the DM shakes his head and sighs, packs ups without saying a word, and silently walks out. On the way he tosses his gaming bag and all the contents in the trash.
10. After you single-handedly slay the oncoming pack of ancient wyrms (from #1 above), you realize that, based upon your level and the challenge rating of the battle, you gain no XP.
11. The latest supplement/splat book from Wizards of the Coast has spells and magical artifacts that are named after you.
12. You see your Dungeon Master huddled over his collection of old Dragon Magazines mubling something about a Quazar Dragon and the fact that tonight's adventure will take place in a land called No-Guard.
13. Your +5 Intelligent Holy Ghost-Touch Dancing Vorpal Life-Stealing Thundering Brilliant-Energy Luck-Blade Mercurial-Greatsword of Wounding and Disruption just does not seem so special any more...
14. Your Wizard has to wheel around his spellbooks in a cart, regardless of epic strength buffs.
15. Heironeous prays to your cleric.
16. a) When you show your character sheet to the DM he/she starts crying; b) When you approach his table at an RPGA game, Piratecat breaks down in tears; c) The DM openly weeps when you ask him if he came up with anything challenging this week.
17. When you sneeze, chartographers have to redraw their maps.
18. The party's tank character takes 700 damage in one encounter and emerges with only a small cut on his shoulder.
19. a) When you convice the Elder Pantheon to play Poker with you later; b) ...and to let you win.
20. a) You have met the Old Ones and were not impressed; b) You drive Chuthlu insane.
21. All of your household appliances are solar-powered.
22. When you approach the Great Wyrm Gold Dragon, toss a saddle on the ground and say "put that on, bee-yatch."
23. Your cleric's god channels energy from your cleric through himself, not from himself through the cleric.
24. You have a cute pet trained to bring in the paper... it's Elminster, polymorphed into a dog (and his god-lover is powerless to save him)
25. A mind flayer attaches its tentacles to your head, and you sit there thinking, "that itches."
26. The phrase "Not another five hundred of them" sees regular use, right after "Don't bother to roll for initiative."
27. a) You order a Sherman tank with your spare change; b) In Greyhawk.
28. You go to channel positive energy to turn undead, and Pelor shrivels up and dies. (I thought this made a nice change)
29. You can take on Sick Sword and Omnion and walk away from it. (Who knows what I'm talking about?)
30. The gazebo sees you coming and flees. (Even more retro)
31. Every time you cast a spell the God of Magic gets a headache.
32. You can convert pit fiends to worship of Yondalla.
33. You give every monster the first round free, makes them think they have a chance.
34. You prefer to wrestle Dragons instead of fighting them. It's fun to make them say uncle.
35. You use a high level Lich as your pack animal.
36. Didn't like where the castle was sitting so you moved it.
37. Teleportation is too slow a form of travel.
38. You have hirelings who go into Dungeons before you just to warn them your comming.
39. When the rest of the party ask "what happened to ALL the Frost Giants?' you reply "I ate them."
40. The gods grant you divine powers just to avoid being picked on anymore.
41. The rest of the players at the table roll their eyes and bang their heads against things whenever you touch your dice.
42. You give your girlfriend the Tarrasque for christmas
43. The other five PC's in the group play with you just to obtain your hand-me-down magic items.
44. The King asks for an audience with you whenever you travel into his lands.
45. a) You are able to survive casting Vengeful Gaze of the Gods; b) You are struck by the epic spell Vengeful Gaze of the Gods, and you reply "Is that the best you got?" c) you're serious.
46. a) You take a trip to the Nine Hells and Asmodeus goes into hiding; b) You rough up Arch devils to make them tell you where Asmodeus is hiding.
47. When the DM starts describing your foes attack, you merely point to your character sheet under Immunities and say "Nope."
48. a) You've got 12 portable holes just to haul your magic items around; b) You stop carrying magic items. After all there is nothing that a magic item can do that you can't.
49. The only chance your DM has to do any damage is to give you enough beer that you fall asleep at the table. (And then ONLY if he rolls a 20!)
50. You have just completed your research on your new magic item: The Ring of Invulnerability to Rules.
51. Your Dungeon Master plays with every single d20 supplement that has ever been published, and you have run out of feats to take.
52. Your familiar is Asmodeus.
53. Your DM needs to advance the monsters from the epic-level handbook to ten times their standard HD so they're "at least a slight challenge" to you.
54. Hong and company cannot think of a single thing to do to further twink your character.
55. You take the Throw Anything feat just so you can hurl planets.
56. You have just opened up a nice new premium housing development. It occupies the region formerly known as the 666 layers of the abyss
57. Your spell list reads: Yes.
58. Your BAB is so high, no matter whom you happen to be fighting, rolling to hit is no longer required.
59. Your character's armor class is so high, they can't commit suicide.
60. Someone describes to you their ultra-powerful character, brimming with Artifacts and Relics, and levels in the double-digits, and you exclaim, "My Wizard character has a familiar just like that!"
61. Your character looks at the Plane of Concordant Opposition, and thinks what a great stadium it would make.
62. Your character no longer earns Experience Points. He has them all.
63. a) The party says they would have no problem taking on a great wyrm dragon; b) They then ask to fight 3 great wyrm dragons at one time; c) They Win.
64. The fighter has a better Will save then the Evil Necromancer Wizard, Cleric, Archmage, Divine Disciple.
65. You keep a Quickened, Silent, Stilled, Enhanced Apocalypse From The Sky ready at all times. You know, just in case.
66. Somehow, every action you take is a free action.
67. You have to keep your character sheet, bio, and list of magic items on a Cray Supercommuter!
68. You single handedly defeated the entire Zhentarim.
69. You sit around with the gods exchanging stories that begin with "Remember when..."
70. a) Your character tried on the Head of Vecna and lived to tell about it.b) You use the Hand of Vecna to pick your nose.
71. Orcus and Asmodeus send you Christmas cards. Just to get on your good side.
72. a) You summon a pack of pit fiends to warm up for the real encounter that is suppose to happen. Nothing happens. b) You forgot that you slayed all the pit fiends last week and so you pull out you spare Rod of Resurrection and bring them back.
73. You have a fellow party member kidnap the local princess and take her hostage, because there really isn't any more villians left.
74. You sometimes sit around talking with your friends about the good old days when your ability scores only had two digits.
75. You see a Titan eat an entire planet and you just shake your head saying "He's okay now, but an entire planet gives you heart burn like you wouldn't believe."
76. You attempt to seduce every goddess you can find and never fail a bluff check.
77. You are trying to get WotC to write an Ultra Epic Level Handbook so you still have something to look forward to.
78. You conquered the entire world but got bored so sparked an insurrection against yourself.
79. Your Ravenloft character becomes a Dread Lord, and declares all of Ravenloft as his domain.
80. You find a way to import your character into Baldurs Gate 2 and Irenicus just gives up in the first stage, bowing to your power.
81. a) Three words: 1000 Armor Class; b) Three more words: 1000 Hit Dice.
82. a) When you stop bothering with gold pieces and start calculating amounts by the ton; b) You visit the largest city in the world and cause the price of gold to crash for ten years.
83. You decide that you are bored with this campaign setting and create your own multiverse.
84. RPGA makes a special ruling disallowing your character from gameplay
85. You fight Draedens before breakfast.
86. You've arm-wrestled with Urt and won.
87. Being doused in Hot Lava is considered funny.

 

[Renaissance Man]

Planescape references...

88) You've climbed the Spire. Twice.

89) The Lady of Pain asks for your permission before creating new portals.

90) You've had Sigil resized and wear it as a nose ring.

 

[Dagger75]

91. The Lady of Pain is just the The Little Girl of Annoyance now.

 

[-Warlord-]

92. The villains don't roll attackrolls anymore, but have switched to diplomacy rolls to beg your foregiveness.

93. You got bored wrestling one god at a time, so you've invited them all for a big rumble at your place.

94. The gods go out of their way to think up excuses not to have to attend aforementioned rumble. "Sir....Pelor dropped this note...he can't make it cause he has a turkey in the oven..."

95. You cast an Enervation on yourself every morning, just to make the day a bit interesting.

96. Your damagereduction is somewhere along the line of AwwForgetIt/NotAChance.

97. Tactical nukes, black hole generators and deathstars are standard villain equipment....and still they lose.

 

[Anubis]

98. You have two pets named "Poochie" and "Draggy" . . . They're actually the Tarrasque and a Great Wyrm Prismatic Dragon.

99. The DM doesn't run the game, you do.

100. A Great Wyrm Force Dragon breaths on you, and you reply "Thanks for the shower."

101. Time Lords fear you.

 

[Anubis]

Funny thing is, UK has given some deities abilities that really can do half of these things! UK, any comments?

 

[Sanackranib]

too powerfull

20. A mind flayer attaches its tentacles to your head, and you sit there thinking, "that itches". (It's not astonishingly powerful, but I've seen it happen...)

the elder brain of a metropolis of mind flayers is hungry . . . you show up to let it feed because you are board and IT'S head explodes!

 

[Sanackranib]

too powerfull

Tiamat and Bahamut unite because they have heard that you want to upgrade your henchmens armor to Dragonscale