But that is precisely the point, 4e: two or more leaders have to coordinate very well in order not to heal too much and deplete party resources (basically a Zero sum), previously: two or more healers, their healing resources just stack (a non-zero sum).
I read your previous post about what exactly happened, and I have to say... and please don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you guys were playing whilst misunderstanding the rules to such a large degree that your experiences are completely a-typical of how 4e works.
1. Your healers weren't just noobs, they were complete morons, sorry to say. No person I've ever gamed with, including every noob, instantly knew not to heal when only a few hp were lost. Other RPGs, videogames, CCGs, and all the rest should have already prepared them for this.
2. You can't be healed against your wishes. If you're unwilling to use a surge, then it does not happen. I say again: your allies
can't make you lose surges unless you let them.
3. If you spent 2 surges earlier and the healers ping-ponged another 6 between them, you lost 8. Since you're now "out of surges", apparently you were playing a Fighter with a Constitution score of 8, or a Paladin with a score of 6.
The statement I quoted above is further proof of this in my eyes, because it's incorrect. I will show why.
In 4e (virtually) all healing is capped per day through the use of healing surges. Whether you have one, two, ten, or no leaders at all, this cap is solidly in place.
But there's another, soft cap on healing
per encounter. Typically a single leader can manage about two or three heals per encounter, maybe more at high levels. Having a second leader around doubles this per-encounter cap.
The encounter cap is what matters in a fight - the daily cap is just a pacing mechanic to make sure you don't endlessly take on fight after fight after fight. So having a second or third leader along is not "zero sum". It doubles or triples the healing you can use per encounter.
I know that for many people this can be hard to swallow, but please take it from me: your experiences were so unusual that they shouldn't be taken as evidence of any kind about how 4e plays.