3rd ed rant (as long as we still have it)

[Darklone]

Okkk... now some ranting questions:

• What do you do about dwarven barbarians with composite longbows but without dwarven waraxes?
• How to unhorse the infamous gnomen paladin on his wardog in dungeons?
• How to double-cross the elven doublesword fighters?
• Which elegant method did you use to thwart the 100th rogue trying to multiclass into one level of ranger due to roleplaying reasons?
• How much did it cost to make a player play a bard?
• Ever noticed that dwarven wizards seem to be more common than elven ones now?
• Recovered from your lumbago after carrying the folders with your houserules back to your room?
• Gnomes suck. Kobolds rule.
• Have you noticed how many guys who never used even a bastard sword in 2nd edition now find the greatsword much more stylish?
• Same for the greataxe?
• CR = Cruelty rate (against DMs)?
  

Feel free to add some more.

 

[shilsen]

What do you do about dwarven barbarians with composite longbows but without dwarven waraxes?

Give them bonus XP for breaking racial stereotypes.

How to unhorse the infamous gnomen paladin on his wardog in dungeons?

Have them run into the 20th lvl kobold blackguard riding a half-fiendish lizard.

How to double-cross the elven doublesword fighters?

Disarm or sunder, not to mention Hold Person.

Which elegant method did you use to thwart the 100th rogue trying to multiclass into one level of ranger due to roleplaying reasons?

Use a non-frontloaded alternate ranger.

How much did it cost to make a player play a bard?

30 seconds to point out that it's a really cool class.

Ever noticed that dwarven wizards seem to be more common than elven ones now?

Nope.

Recovered from your lumbago after carrying the folders with your houserules back to your room?

You mean the 3 sheets of paper I have (with extra-large font)?

Gnomes suck. Kobolds rule.

Gnomes are fine. Can't argue about the kobolds. My PCs know that they should run when they see any.

Have you noticed how many guys who never used even a bastard sword in 2nd edition now find the greatsword much more stylish?

Not really.

Same for the greataxe?

As above.

CR = Cruelty rate (against DMs)?

You nuts? CR/EL is a wonderful tool. Esp. when I get to beat up on the whole party using a single creature of the same CR as a single PC, since I can point out the CR and that it was a balanced encounter (i.e. one they should have won easily)

Feel free to add some more.

Nah! 3rd edition rocks.

 

[S'mon]

Which elegant method did you use to thwart the 100th rogue trying to multiclass into one level of ranger due to roleplaying reasons?

Not exactly what you're asking, but when I played a Rogue I had myself take a level of Fighter first (reflecting the character's transition to a more combat-oriented stance), before he took a Ranger level. Might be worth other DMs making that a house rule.

 

[Tom Cashel]

What do you do about dwarven barbarians with composite longbows but without dwarven waraxes?

Make sure they buy extra bowstrings. What's the problem? Down below you lament everyone using the waraxe, but when the dwarven barbarian goes the archer route you lament that too. What's with all the lamentation?

How to unhorse the infamous gnomen paladin on his wardog in dungeons?

Phantasmal killer/slay living/harm/maximized fireball/etc./etc./etc. on the mount. Tanglefoot bags. Grease spell on the floor. Tripwires. Commands and suggestions. Need more?

How to double-cross the elven doublesword fighters?

Bluff them.

Which elegant method did you use to thwart the 100th rogue trying to multiclass into one level of ranger due to roleplaying reasons?

If he's doing it for role-playing reasons, why thwart him? Congrats on DMing 100 Rogues.

How much did it cost to make a player play a bard?

If you have to pay, it's not worth putting up with the play. If they want to play, most likely the entertainment will save the day. Why do you care what they play?

Ever noticed that dwarven wizards seem to be more common than elven ones now?

It's novelty. The +2 bonus on Spell saves ain't that great.

Recovered from your lumbago after carrying the folders with your houserules back to your room?

House rules suck.

Gnomes suck. Kobolds rule.

What's your question?

Have you noticed how many guys who never used even a bastard sword in 2nd edition now find the greatsword much more stylish?

Who cares?

Same for the greataxe?

Ibid.

CR = Cruelty rate (against DMs)?

Okay. This one I'll go along with, as long as it's meant to be holistic.

Sounds more like a bunch of min/maxing players than a problem with 3E. I used to rail against the system...oh yes, I did! But I've discovered that it's better to talk to your players about what kind of game you want to run, and set some ground rules, rather than expecting the 3E rules (as written) to be all things to all gamers.

Now quit yer bitching.

 

[Enceladus]

Sure are lot of dwarven barbarians all of a sudden. Where did they come from? How did they get here?

 

[Darklone]

Re: Re: 3rd ed rant (as long as we still have it)

Now quit yer bitching.

Just in case someone didn't notice... I thought the inherent humour would be obvious even without this smiley dude

 

[Numion]

Okkk... now some ranting questions:

• What do you do about dwarven barbarians with composite longbows but without dwarven waraxes?

What? Any barb can use a dwarven waraxe. In one hand, now thats another matter.. .

 

[Tom Cashel]

Re: Re: Re: 3rd ed rant (as long as we still have it)

Just in case someone didn't notice... I thought the inherent humour would be obvious even without this smiley dude

And I thought the inherent humor of my post would be obvious with the smiley. Just kidding, man.

But on a more serious note...you need to work on your comedy.

 

[Darklone]

Re: Re: Re: Re: 3rd ed rant (as long as we still have it)

But on a more serious note...you need to work on your comedy.

Hard to be funny in my mood.... but well, all I wanted was to have some fun and finally your post was funny

 

[Tom Cashel]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 3rd ed rant (as long as we still have it)

...and finally your post was funny

I manage to get there sometimes, eventually.

And I have to say, it's a good idea to get these 3e rants out of the way...I have a sinking feeling (brought on by the 4-way developer debate over the Mystic Theurge) that 3.5 will generate a CLASS FIVE RANTSTORM!