A call for D&D poetry and song.

[Deset Gled]

A while back there was a contest to see who could write the best D+D style Dr. Seuss poem. I once saw a rather clever poem written about a halfling who multiclassed into every core class. I also remember a poem written about 3.0 slings. I'm sure there are many more poems and songs that people have written about D+D.

Sadly, I do not have the search option. But even if I did, I don't think I would be able to find all of the prose that has been posted on these boards. I think it would be very entertaining to have people post poems and songs they have written or read about D+D (hopefully with attribution to the actual author in the latter case).

So fire away. Make us laugh, make us cry. (If someone could also post a link to the aforementioned Dr. Seuss entry thread, it would also be appreciated). Thanks in advance. Also appolgies in advance if this has been done before/recently (I spend most of my browsing in the rules forum).

 

[Morrus]

Here's the Dr. Seuss thread. It still makes me laugh!

http://www.enworld.org/forums/showthread.php?t=32210&highlight=seuss

 

[JDJarvis]

There once was a wizard from Zhent
whose back was twisted and bent
he stopped in a shop for a pie
and had to settle for bean, oh my
no one would wish to follow that wizard wherever he went

 

[JDJarvis]

a gnomish Tavern sng that keeps the players out of the gnomish quarter in one of mt campaign cities:

Ohhhhh, Drink a drink in morning, Drink a drink at noon
but when the sun goes down ...
drinka drinka drinka drink them drinks before you

(chorus repeated forever)
Drinka drinka drinka drink for me
Drinka drink drinka drink for you
Drinka drinka drinka drinka one by one and two by two

 

[maddman75]

In the long-ago days of Nutkinland, there was once a thread on Celebrity DMs. In that thread, we described various celebrity DMs running Monte Cook's Orc and Pie. One poster, Doomsdaisy, did it as Dr. Suess.

DM Seuss: Would you fight an orc for pie?

Krusk: I will not fight an orc for pie, I do not fight him, Krusk am I.

DM Seuss: Would you fight him in a cave? Would you fight him with a stave?

Krusk: I would not fight him in a cave, I would not fight him with a stave. I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I.

DM Seuss: Would you fight him with a troll, would you score a critical roll?

Krusk: I would not fight him with a troll, I would not score a critical roll, I would not fight him in a cave, I would not fight him with a stave.

DM Seuss: Would you fight him in a moat? Would you fight him on a goat?

Krusk: Not in a moat, not on a goat, not with a troll, no critical roll. I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I.

DM Seuss: Would you, could you, in a bar? Fight him, fight him, here he are!

Krusk: I would not, could not in a bar.

DM Seuss: You may fight him, before you sleep, you may fight him in a keep!

Krusk: I would not, could not in a keep. Not in a bar, you let me sleep! I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I!

DM Seuss: A mace, a mace, a mace, a magic mace! Could you would you for a magic mace?

Krusk: Not for a mace, not in a keep, not in a bar, just LET ME SLEEP! I will not fight the orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk Am I.

DM Seuss: Say! With a spell? Blast with a spell? Would you, could you with a spell?

Krusk: I would not could not with a spell.

DM Seuss: Would you, could you in extradimensional space?

Krusk: I would not, could not in extradimensional space, not with a spell, not for a mace. I will not fight this orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk Am I!

DM Seuss: Would you, could you for a gem?

Krusk: I would not, could not for a gem.

DM Seuss: Would you fight him with other men?

Krusk: I would not could not for a gem, I would not fight with other men. I will not fight this orc for pie, I will not fight him, Krusk am I.

DM Seuss: You may not fight them, so you say, just roll, just roll, and you may! Just roll, just roll, you may, I say!

Krusk: Bah! If you will let me be, I will fight them. You will see.
Say! I do like fighting orc for pie! I do. I'll fight him, Krusk am I!
I will fight him with other men.
And I will fight him for a gem.
And I will fight him in extradimensional space.
And with a spell.
And for a magic mace.
And in a keep.
And in a bar.
This is fun! Forget about sleep!
So I will fight him with a troll.
And I will make a critical roll.
And I will fight him on a goat.
And I will fight him in a moat.
And I will fight him in a cave.
And I will fight him with a stave.
I will fight, its blood I crave!
I do so like fighting orcs for pie! Thank you, thank you!
Krusk am I.

The original thread is here
http://p078.ezboard.com/fnutkinlandfrm27.showMessage?topicID=3.topic

though you leave the safety of Eric's Grandma here. IOW there may be profanity and such.

 

[Deset Gled]

Thanks all.

(bump, especially in hopes of someone posting a link to the multiclassing poem)