A First-Time GM and a Bossy Player

[lobsterGun]

Be patient with him

... but not too patient. If you don't tell him how you feel about the way he is behaving, he probably won't realize he's causing a problem. This could be an opportunity for some introspection on his part.

Trust me. As someone who has a tendency to bring the baggage of the work week to the table, I've been given my share of such 'opportunities' over the years... and I think I'm a better person for it.

 

[ccs]

Just be blunt & tell the player to stop.
No diplomacy neccecary.

Decide as a group how you want things to work within the game - division of treasure, being allowed to PvP each other, who's the group leader. Etc.
Inform him of how this will be working & give him a choice:
1) get on board, play along, & have fun.
2) get kicked out of the group.

 

[Sunseeker]

My suggestion?

 

[Gorgon Zee]

One suggestion as to framing the issue that might allow him to save face:

As a GM, state that you made a mistake in not being clear about the tone of the campaign; you didn't state that alignment was not going to be an important part of the game. The game you want to play is one where everyone's viewpoint is equally valid and everyone shares equally in decision-making.

You might then turn to the player in question and say that you're sorry that you didn't make that clear to them and that he has designed a character which is at odds with the game style. Does he want to roll up a new character now, or would he prefer to play his current character, but under the understanding that there will be no group leader and that alignment is a personal decision, not something that will affect the group?

If he's unwilling to take the lead and continues to act as the group dictator, you're faced with a tough situation. I might take them aside and state that his play style seems strongly at odds with the group's style and tell him that you're going to test that by letting him sit out the next 2-3 sessions. That should make it clear he's on probation, and if he STILL acts poorly when he comes back (assuming he does), then you really have no option but eject.

Overall, the basic plan is:
* Make it clear that the issue is a different play style
* Make it clear that the group's play style is what is going to be the way moving forward
* Make it clear that you want him to keep playing, but to do so he needs to change
* Offer ways for him to save face

I hope it works out. If it doesn't, I hope he remains a friend.

 

[Sebastrd]

This is a classic problem that shows up at many tables, so you're not alone. The bottom line is that this is a real life problem, and needs to be dealt with in real life, not in the game.

In my opinion and experience, the group needs to stop enabling him. By choosing not to kick him out to prevent hurting his feelings, you're sending the message that his feelings matter more than everyone else's at the table. His behavior is selfish and absolutely unacceptable. If he can't understand that the group doesn't revolve around him and that it's not his personal playground, I don't see another option besides asking him to leave the group.

Also, please understand that doesn't mean the group has to stop being his friend. Friendship doesn't necessarily mean doing everything together. It's perfectly normal to enjoy activities that don't involve some friends because it's not their cup of tea. There may be other activities you all can enjoy together where his selfish behavior doesn't manifest itself, like going to the movies or something.

 

[jasper]

Ok you have toxic player. Review some of the suggestions mentioned. Talk with the toxic player outside of the game. If he will not straighten up and fly right, kick him out of the table. Not the group, just the game. I kicked out a player from my table and he quit being a friend. I been kicked out due to social reason but remained friends with the people in other hobbies. Just because he has a great deal of knowledge does not mean you have to play with the goober.
This is not backyard football where he has the only ball.