Is anyone here really . . . telling you that you are doing it wrong?
I mean, I'm skimming the thread at this point, but there seems to be a lot of folks saying
"Stop telling me I'm doing it wrong!" and very few (that I've noticed) actually telling anyone,
"Hey, you're doing it wrong!"
Disagreement is not the same thing as telling someone their preferences are wrong.
@Oofta, your playstyle and viewpoint does not align with the way I like to engage with D&D (and other RPGs) today. That doesn't mean I think you're doing it wrong, just wrong for me. You seem to have a good gaming group going based on those preferences, so who's to tell you that all that fun you and your friends are having is wrong? I don't think anyone here is doing that.
If I've missed an egregious post in all of this circular back-and-forth, I apologize.