13x03
As Nyoko waited with her nervous companions outside the door of the Head Inquisitor, their guide – who also looked agitated, at this point – knocked for a third time.
"Yes, yes, send them in already!" came a muffled voice.
Their guide swung open the door and stepped aside. Inside was the messiest room Nyoko had ever seen … outside of a derro warren. Overflowing cabinets lined the walls. Stacks of documents and ledgers bordered a narrow pathway to the large, low marble desk, which itself was barely visible beneath a mound of paper.
Seated behind the desk was a man in the robes of an Inquisitor, scribbling furiously on a sheet of paper. He didn't look up – simply held up a finger for silence.
They waited.
Eventually he finished writing, pulled a bell cord beside his desk, and handed the paper to a functionary who rushed in, grabbed it, and rushed away.
The man stood up, ran a hand through his graying hair (making it stand on end and thus doing nothing to improve his harried appearance), and mustered a formal bow.
"Forgive me," he said, consulting what had to be a makeshift appointment sheet. "I have more business than I know what to do with. Savina-san, Nyoko-san, yes? And – others? I'm Lord Ono." Then he looked from Nyoko to Savina, and his face briefly became blank.
"Masa-san said that Savina-san may be of some assistance in the matter of a possible Alirrian heresy…?" Nyoko reminded him gently.
"Yes, right, that." Lord Ono rubbed his eyes tiredly. "My apologies. This—” he gestured at the piles of papers surrounding him, “—is too many things at once. Right. Alirrian heresy. Lord Masa-san’s thing. Yes.” He pulled a scrap of paper from the middle of a precarious stack. “Let me tell you what's going on."
His story proceeded with fits, starts, and a few "what's-his-name"s thrown in. It was not, in other words, up to Nyoko's standards of narrative retellings, but she didn't expect Adept standards from an Inquisitor – especially one who clearly hadn't been getting enough sleep. In fact, she had to admit that Lord Ono was rather likable, in his way. His story, by contrast, was troubling.
Essentially, the lord of the Hillside District – Nishi Oshiro – was Alirrian. Nishi-san did not come from an Alirrian family himself, but his wife's family had secretly worshipped Alirria even before the Affirmation, and he had converted for her. After Nishi-san became a saint-worshipper, the entire district under his jurisdiction was obliged to follow his Alirrian practices. One of these mandatory practices, called the Rite of Joyous Union, took place on the wedding night of every subject of Nishi-san. Masa-san's cousin – "what's his name" – was getting married, and Nishi-san was insisting, as usual, upon performing the Rite. What's-his-name and his bride refused to participate, claiming that the Rite was noxious heresy.
"That, then, is my question for you, Savina-san," said Lord Ono. "Is this Rite of Joyous Union an official Alirrian practice?"
"I have … never heard of it," said Savina. "What does it involve?"
"Nothing sensible," sighed Lord Ono. "I can see why what's-his-name objects, but who knows, saint-worshippers have bizarre customs – no offense. The Rite of Joyous Union requires that on the eve before a wedding in his or her Estate, the liege lord lie with one of the partners to be married. Something about allegiance and family…In this case, Nishi-san insists upon lying with what's-his-name's bride."
"'Lie with'?" said Savina, her eyes widening. "You mean – "
Lord Ono grunted an affirmative. "Well?" he said.
"Who – who gives consent to this?" Savina stammered.
"As far as I know, only Alirria herself. Is this traditional, or not?"
Nyoko watched Savina's spine straighten with anger. "Love is freely given," the girl declared. "What you describe is rape."
Lord Ono looked disgusted, but not really surprised – or energized. "So… that’s a heresy, then," he said.
"Absolutely," said Savina. "How will you stop it?"
Lord Ono sighed. "Theoretically," he began, "a new Inquisitorial Squad and Adept must be sent to the Hillside District to gather evidence, conduct a trial, and pass judgment." He gave slight bow to Nyoko. Then he shrugged and shook his head in exasperation. "But as a practical matter, there's not a single man I could trust to handle it properly."
“But your Inquisitors—” Savina began.
“—have already been out there, gathered evidence, and held that the Rite was not a problem.” He rubbed his temples. “It’s the Tide. They make everything harder.”
"The Tide?" asked Savina. "That sounds Alirrian."
Lord On gave a bark of laughter, without humor. "The opposite," he said. "The Restless Tide of the One True Path, they call themselves. They're ultra-conservative, and they refuse to accept the Affirmation. They want to make all saint-worship illegal again. They're everywhere these days – I suspect half my men are members."
“Inquisitors who refuse to accept the Affirmation,” mused Savina, “might harass people just for saying prayers to the other gods."
"Certainly," agreed Lord Ono.
"Do you suspect that the Inquisitors who first investigated this matter are members of The Tide?” Savina pressed.
“Possibly, though it's much more likely that they're just ignorant of Alirrian doctrine,” Lord Ono replied. “Half the honest Inquisitors under me wouldn't know an Alirrian heresy if it ran naked into the Lord Regent's personal vestry and performed the Beguiling Dance of the Sevenfold Secrets with a goat. Regardless, I'm not in a position to send anyone else out to investigate this. While I appreciate the information you have provided—I have to get back to things I can do something about.” He waved again at the papers on his desk.
"But Lord Ono-san— " said Savina, then looked abashed at her rashness, and then continued. "But an official investigation must be done."
"I agree, but I'm telling you, I don't have the people to do it." He reached toward his bell-pull, as if to summon an assistant.
Savina turned to Tavi, desperation in her eyes. "Tavi, we can't simply allow this to – "
Tavi stepped forward to face Lord Ono, making his presence felt for the first time. "Could we do it?"
"Heathens, running an Inquisition?" said Lord Ono. He snorted, far back in his throat.
"Not heathens, Lord Ono-san. Or not only," said Tavi. "We've got an Adept here, and we've got a Justicar." Kormick, who had been flicking idly through a stack of papers, grunted in surprise as Tavi grabbed his arm and pulled him forward to stand in front of Lord Ono's desk.
"Yes, right," said Kormick, fumbling his holy symbol out of his coat. "May Kettenek's Justice rain blessings upon you." He mis-pronounced "Kettenek," as usual, and flashed Tavi an entirely indiscreet "what are you getting me into?" glance.
"Ah," said Lord Ono, appraising the man. "One of those heathen lawmen. I've heard of you. You're – not what I pictured."
"Such are the mysterious ways of Justice," Kormick intoned, his initial glance settling into a steady glare at Tavi.
"Wha—right," said Lord Ono, now looking thoroughly flummoxed. He sighed the sigh of one who desperately needed a spa day.
Twiggy pulled Mena aside and whispered to her. “If we help them,” Twiggy asked in nearly inaudible tones, “do you think it would make a good impression on the head of the Inquisition for the whole Sovereignty—Lady Akiko? Because she’s close to the Lord High Regent, who we want to meet...”
Mena gave a subtle nod, and turned back to face Lord Ono. “We are at your service,” she said.
Lord Ono shook his head as if to clear it. "I could never allow it," he said.
"Lord Ono-san," said Savina, looking up at him with big eyes, her voice sweet and diplomatic, "we may be – be heathens, but in this matter our values align with yours. We all want to see this heretical rape prevented. Please – let us help you."
"If I may,” Twiggy added, “with our knowledge of Alirrian doctrine, we would be uniquely qualified to assist you even if you weren’t ... short-handed."
"For what it's worth, I can vouch for their general worthiness," Nyoko said, surprising herself by speaking up. But she really wanted to see this man get some well-deserved rest. "They represent two noble families from their home city, and in the Ketkath they saved my life. They have earned the respect of the Adepts."
Bombarded from all sides, Lord Ono actually paused to consider it. Then he shook his head once more. "You have no jurisdiction," he said flatly.
"Yes, yes, jurisdiction," said Kormick. The Justicar turned away from Lord Ono and fixed his traveling companions with a mournful expression. "It is exceedingly important in matters of Kettenek and Justice and so forth to respect jurisdiction, my friends. Brother Scribe taught me the concept in Justicar School by comparing it to turf battles between gangs in Dar Und. As in my hometown, we'd be unspeakably foolish to interfere here. Now, hypothetically, if Lord Ono-san didn't have full control of his own turf and couldn't put this matter to rest on his own, then he'd be showing weakness. These Tidesmen would sense that and unleash the apocalypse. But I'm sure he's considered that."
Nyoko heard the faintest groan from Lord Ono. The man had closed his eyes and was pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers.
"Deputize us," said Tavi. "You can do that, right?"
"In theory I could…" Lord Ono allowed, eyes still closed.
Savina stepped forward once more, this time less like a pleading girl and more like a deeply empathetic healer. She put a gentle hand on his arm. "To ease your burden…" was all she said.
After a pause, Lord Ono gave a sharp nod and opened his eyes. "I must seek the authorization of Lady Akiko-san," he said.
Twiggy smiled.
"I'll contact you when I've heard from her," said Lord Ono. "Assuming she doesn't have me dismissed from my post for … unspeakable foolishness. I thank you for your … help."
Taking his obvious cue, Nyoko moved toward the door, indicating that it was time to leave. As they all filed toward the door, Twiggy grabbed Mena's shoulder and whispered quickly into the Defier's ear. Mena turned back.
"Lord Ono-san," she said, "on an unrelated matter, would it be possible to have one of your assistants look up an old record for us?"
"Given your generous offer just now," he sighed, "I can hardly refuse… what is it about?"
"It's for some research we're doing," said Twiggy. "We're trying to track down a transcription of some things a woman said seventy-five years ago while she was being executed. Apparently she was some kind of Sedellan—"
Lord Ono's eyes had started glazing over at "seventy-five."
"I'll write down the information," interrupted Mena, reaching for a blank scrap of paper on his desk and scrawling some words on it. "Hand it to your assistant and think nothing more of it." She gave him the paper.
"I'll see what I can do," he said.
"Thank you very much," said Mena, and with that, the meeting was over.
They silently followed a guide back down the imposing hallways. Only as they were getting into the waiting carriages did Savina suddenly ask, "Did I really just offer to help Sovereign Inquisitors?"
Unexpectedly, it was Arden who answered, sounding almost as beleaguered as Lord Ono had. "Yes, you did, Blessed Daughter. And when the Honored Mother ordered me to protect you, I wish she'd mentioned how hard it would be."
As Nyoko waited with her nervous companions outside the door of the Head Inquisitor, their guide – who also looked agitated, at this point – knocked for a third time.
"Yes, yes, send them in already!" came a muffled voice.
Their guide swung open the door and stepped aside. Inside was the messiest room Nyoko had ever seen … outside of a derro warren. Overflowing cabinets lined the walls. Stacks of documents and ledgers bordered a narrow pathway to the large, low marble desk, which itself was barely visible beneath a mound of paper.
Seated behind the desk was a man in the robes of an Inquisitor, scribbling furiously on a sheet of paper. He didn't look up – simply held up a finger for silence.
They waited.
Eventually he finished writing, pulled a bell cord beside his desk, and handed the paper to a functionary who rushed in, grabbed it, and rushed away.
The man stood up, ran a hand through his graying hair (making it stand on end and thus doing nothing to improve his harried appearance), and mustered a formal bow.
"Forgive me," he said, consulting what had to be a makeshift appointment sheet. "I have more business than I know what to do with. Savina-san, Nyoko-san, yes? And – others? I'm Lord Ono." Then he looked from Nyoko to Savina, and his face briefly became blank.
"Masa-san said that Savina-san may be of some assistance in the matter of a possible Alirrian heresy…?" Nyoko reminded him gently.
"Yes, right, that." Lord Ono rubbed his eyes tiredly. "My apologies. This—” he gestured at the piles of papers surrounding him, “—is too many things at once. Right. Alirrian heresy. Lord Masa-san’s thing. Yes.” He pulled a scrap of paper from the middle of a precarious stack. “Let me tell you what's going on."
His story proceeded with fits, starts, and a few "what's-his-name"s thrown in. It was not, in other words, up to Nyoko's standards of narrative retellings, but she didn't expect Adept standards from an Inquisitor – especially one who clearly hadn't been getting enough sleep. In fact, she had to admit that Lord Ono was rather likable, in his way. His story, by contrast, was troubling.
Essentially, the lord of the Hillside District – Nishi Oshiro – was Alirrian. Nishi-san did not come from an Alirrian family himself, but his wife's family had secretly worshipped Alirria even before the Affirmation, and he had converted for her. After Nishi-san became a saint-worshipper, the entire district under his jurisdiction was obliged to follow his Alirrian practices. One of these mandatory practices, called the Rite of Joyous Union, took place on the wedding night of every subject of Nishi-san. Masa-san's cousin – "what's his name" – was getting married, and Nishi-san was insisting, as usual, upon performing the Rite. What's-his-name and his bride refused to participate, claiming that the Rite was noxious heresy.
"That, then, is my question for you, Savina-san," said Lord Ono. "Is this Rite of Joyous Union an official Alirrian practice?"
"I have … never heard of it," said Savina. "What does it involve?"
"Nothing sensible," sighed Lord Ono. "I can see why what's-his-name objects, but who knows, saint-worshippers have bizarre customs – no offense. The Rite of Joyous Union requires that on the eve before a wedding in his or her Estate, the liege lord lie with one of the partners to be married. Something about allegiance and family…In this case, Nishi-san insists upon lying with what's-his-name's bride."
"'Lie with'?" said Savina, her eyes widening. "You mean – "
Lord Ono grunted an affirmative. "Well?" he said.
"Who – who gives consent to this?" Savina stammered.
"As far as I know, only Alirria herself. Is this traditional, or not?"
Nyoko watched Savina's spine straighten with anger. "Love is freely given," the girl declared. "What you describe is rape."
Lord Ono looked disgusted, but not really surprised – or energized. "So… that’s a heresy, then," he said.
"Absolutely," said Savina. "How will you stop it?"
Lord Ono sighed. "Theoretically," he began, "a new Inquisitorial Squad and Adept must be sent to the Hillside District to gather evidence, conduct a trial, and pass judgment." He gave slight bow to Nyoko. Then he shrugged and shook his head in exasperation. "But as a practical matter, there's not a single man I could trust to handle it properly."
“But your Inquisitors—” Savina began.
“—have already been out there, gathered evidence, and held that the Rite was not a problem.” He rubbed his temples. “It’s the Tide. They make everything harder.”
"The Tide?" asked Savina. "That sounds Alirrian."
Lord On gave a bark of laughter, without humor. "The opposite," he said. "The Restless Tide of the One True Path, they call themselves. They're ultra-conservative, and they refuse to accept the Affirmation. They want to make all saint-worship illegal again. They're everywhere these days – I suspect half my men are members."
“Inquisitors who refuse to accept the Affirmation,” mused Savina, “might harass people just for saying prayers to the other gods."
"Certainly," agreed Lord Ono.
"Do you suspect that the Inquisitors who first investigated this matter are members of The Tide?” Savina pressed.
“Possibly, though it's much more likely that they're just ignorant of Alirrian doctrine,” Lord Ono replied. “Half the honest Inquisitors under me wouldn't know an Alirrian heresy if it ran naked into the Lord Regent's personal vestry and performed the Beguiling Dance of the Sevenfold Secrets with a goat. Regardless, I'm not in a position to send anyone else out to investigate this. While I appreciate the information you have provided—I have to get back to things I can do something about.” He waved again at the papers on his desk.
"But Lord Ono-san— " said Savina, then looked abashed at her rashness, and then continued. "But an official investigation must be done."
"I agree, but I'm telling you, I don't have the people to do it." He reached toward his bell-pull, as if to summon an assistant.
Savina turned to Tavi, desperation in her eyes. "Tavi, we can't simply allow this to – "
Tavi stepped forward to face Lord Ono, making his presence felt for the first time. "Could we do it?"
"Heathens, running an Inquisition?" said Lord Ono. He snorted, far back in his throat.
"Not heathens, Lord Ono-san. Or not only," said Tavi. "We've got an Adept here, and we've got a Justicar." Kormick, who had been flicking idly through a stack of papers, grunted in surprise as Tavi grabbed his arm and pulled him forward to stand in front of Lord Ono's desk.
"Yes, right," said Kormick, fumbling his holy symbol out of his coat. "May Kettenek's Justice rain blessings upon you." He mis-pronounced "Kettenek," as usual, and flashed Tavi an entirely indiscreet "what are you getting me into?" glance.
"Ah," said Lord Ono, appraising the man. "One of those heathen lawmen. I've heard of you. You're – not what I pictured."
"Such are the mysterious ways of Justice," Kormick intoned, his initial glance settling into a steady glare at Tavi.
"Wha—right," said Lord Ono, now looking thoroughly flummoxed. He sighed the sigh of one who desperately needed a spa day.
Twiggy pulled Mena aside and whispered to her. “If we help them,” Twiggy asked in nearly inaudible tones, “do you think it would make a good impression on the head of the Inquisition for the whole Sovereignty—Lady Akiko? Because she’s close to the Lord High Regent, who we want to meet...”
Mena gave a subtle nod, and turned back to face Lord Ono. “We are at your service,” she said.
Lord Ono shook his head as if to clear it. "I could never allow it," he said.
"Lord Ono-san," said Savina, looking up at him with big eyes, her voice sweet and diplomatic, "we may be – be heathens, but in this matter our values align with yours. We all want to see this heretical rape prevented. Please – let us help you."
"If I may,” Twiggy added, “with our knowledge of Alirrian doctrine, we would be uniquely qualified to assist you even if you weren’t ... short-handed."
"For what it's worth, I can vouch for their general worthiness," Nyoko said, surprising herself by speaking up. But she really wanted to see this man get some well-deserved rest. "They represent two noble families from their home city, and in the Ketkath they saved my life. They have earned the respect of the Adepts."
Bombarded from all sides, Lord Ono actually paused to consider it. Then he shook his head once more. "You have no jurisdiction," he said flatly.
"Yes, yes, jurisdiction," said Kormick. The Justicar turned away from Lord Ono and fixed his traveling companions with a mournful expression. "It is exceedingly important in matters of Kettenek and Justice and so forth to respect jurisdiction, my friends. Brother Scribe taught me the concept in Justicar School by comparing it to turf battles between gangs in Dar Und. As in my hometown, we'd be unspeakably foolish to interfere here. Now, hypothetically, if Lord Ono-san didn't have full control of his own turf and couldn't put this matter to rest on his own, then he'd be showing weakness. These Tidesmen would sense that and unleash the apocalypse. But I'm sure he's considered that."
Nyoko heard the faintest groan from Lord Ono. The man had closed his eyes and was pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers.
"Deputize us," said Tavi. "You can do that, right?"
"In theory I could…" Lord Ono allowed, eyes still closed.
Savina stepped forward once more, this time less like a pleading girl and more like a deeply empathetic healer. She put a gentle hand on his arm. "To ease your burden…" was all she said.
After a pause, Lord Ono gave a sharp nod and opened his eyes. "I must seek the authorization of Lady Akiko-san," he said.
Twiggy smiled.
"I'll contact you when I've heard from her," said Lord Ono. "Assuming she doesn't have me dismissed from my post for … unspeakable foolishness. I thank you for your … help."
Taking his obvious cue, Nyoko moved toward the door, indicating that it was time to leave. As they all filed toward the door, Twiggy grabbed Mena's shoulder and whispered quickly into the Defier's ear. Mena turned back.
"Lord Ono-san," she said, "on an unrelated matter, would it be possible to have one of your assistants look up an old record for us?"
"Given your generous offer just now," he sighed, "I can hardly refuse… what is it about?"
"It's for some research we're doing," said Twiggy. "We're trying to track down a transcription of some things a woman said seventy-five years ago while she was being executed. Apparently she was some kind of Sedellan—"
Lord Ono's eyes had started glazing over at "seventy-five."
"I'll write down the information," interrupted Mena, reaching for a blank scrap of paper on his desk and scrawling some words on it. "Hand it to your assistant and think nothing more of it." She gave him the paper.
"I'll see what I can do," he said.
"Thank you very much," said Mena, and with that, the meeting was over.
They silently followed a guide back down the imposing hallways. Only as they were getting into the waiting carriages did Savina suddenly ask, "Did I really just offer to help Sovereign Inquisitors?"
Unexpectedly, it was Arden who answered, sounding almost as beleaguered as Lord Ono had. "Yes, you did, Blessed Daughter. And when the Honored Mother ordered me to protect you, I wish she'd mentioned how hard it would be."
