Addressing problems in a game.

[Quasqueton]

Reading the list of problems in the "Things that annoy you as a PC" has made me stop and think if I do any of those annoying things as a DM or as a fellow Player.

Here's a question I have for everyone here: When something about the game annoys you (be it something the DM does or something a fellow Player does), do you speak up about the problem? Do you mention to the DM or Player that there is a problem? Or do you just put up with it until you are pushed over the edge and then blow up or quit?

In my experience, the vast majority of Players never say anything about what is bothering them in a game. I've been guilty of this too sometimes. Though in the past few years, now that I'm older and have less time to waste on unfun games, I try to bring up any problems I may have. But I admit, too, that sometimes a problem is really minor until it continues for half a dozen game sessions -- then it seems like I'm making a big deal out of something that may seem minor to others.

I'd like to hear from the players here on this forum:

Do you speak up about game/DM/Player problems to the relevant persons? And if you have, tell what happened about the game/DM/Player problem. Did it get fixed? Did you get blown off?

How many games have you quit without telling the DM and/or other Players what the problems were?

Have you ever been the problem that someone else brought up? Did you rectify the problem?

Quasqueton

 

[Crothian]

Anything bothers me I'll usually saw something away from game. I don't want to turn a gaming session into a complaint session, so I'll use e-mail or the phone, or just stop by the DMs house or players to talk to them. If it is big and does involve the whole group, I'll ask everyone to come by a little early so we have time to discuss it and it doesn't take too much time out of gaming.

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

Well, we had one time where the problems were brought up and I have to admit, it was not done well. A series of flame e-mails went out after the incident that made things a lot worse. Eventually it led to the group breaking up. A few of us got a new group together, but we tend to be a little gunshy about mentioning problems. Now we have a tendency to get together in a smaller group and bit&h about it for a while without the person cousing th trouble. So far it has led to one of us convincing the other(s) that they are overreacting to the incident and is blows over with a little time, but we have been lucky that things have not been persistent issues.

 

[Quasqueton]

The fact that the complaint threads are still on the first page, yet this thread on how to address the complaints has fallen to the third page makes me think I'm right in that very few players ever actually try to solve the problems in a game/group. Players would rather let a problem sit and stew rather than bring the problem up and possibly get it solved.

Quasqueton

 

[Hand of Evil]

Complaints should not interrupt the game, okay lets sidebar a moment and then get back to the game and we will discuss and address after the session is finished. My players understand IF there is an issue it would be looked into after, a ruling/action would come before the next gaming session.

 

[Telperion]

I actually received some constructive criticism from my players (via e-mail) some weeks ago. The problem has since been fixed, and everyone seems happy again.

Personally I have a tendency to complain about things that I could have done better as a DM/GM/ST, and the person running the game didn't succeed in quite so well. On the other hand I beat myself up every now and then for not doing as well as I could have. For example: I was sick on Sunday, but decided to run a session anyway. Suprise, surprise! The session didn't go as well as it could have.

I try constructive criticism, and if that doesn't work then I usually get out before things get nasty.

 

[diaglo]

life is too short to play crappy RPGs.

i let me feelings be known. both individually and in group.

no point in holding onto the quirk that is bugging me...but i do first, try and figure out who, what, when, where, why, how...etc...before i say anything.

lots of times the time off to reflect/meditate is enough for me to get a handle on my stormy nature. besides the fact, i have a terrible memory and tend to forget stuff i don't write down.

 

[hong]

Diaglo, if you have a stormy nature, I don't want to know what I'm like.

 

[robberbaron]

Game problems are indeed a tricky subject to broach.

No-one wants to p-off the GM or another player during the game, because you don't want to spoil the flow. So you sit on your problem and address it out of game.
The trouble is, you can spend so long thinking how to say what you want to say 'cos, after all, the people you play with are your friends and you want them to stay that way, that the moment is over and they can't remember the problem and you end up feeling daft for not bringing it up earlier.

Basically, you can't win - either way you risk hurting your friends' feelings, so you bottle it up until you accept the way things are or you explode.

 

[Quasqueton]

Can anyone give examples of problems solved? We've seen the long lists of problems (in the other threads), and we're hearing how problems *should* be addressed, but how have things actually turned out when you brought them up?

Quasqueton