They act like humans. They create societies in the same way as humans. Their language is fungible with English (or any other language it has been translated into) with the same conceptual structures and very few, if any, nontranslatable ideas less so, perhaps, than various human cultures on earth, today... because they were written by humans and their mindset is constrained by human ability to conceive of a mindset.
They do not act like humans or create societies in the same way as humans. They have some similarities, yes, but that doesn't make their society or thought processes the same as human.
A lot of what you are using as your proof are designs from humans that wrote about elves. It can be really hard to imagine and write down what an alien elven society would look like, so these designers have taken the easy path in some instances. A good way to understand the differences is to read the books on elves from 2e and 3e. They take the time to delve deeply into the differences of the elves and how those differences shape their society.
" We do not even need sleep, instead deriving our rest by dwelling within our memories and hopes of the past: the act of Reverie. Some claim this stagnates us and causes us to live in the past. This is not so. We learn for the future by reliving the past.
We are the overlords of the forest, and for good reason. We are intimate with the very soil on which we walk, for our souls are tied to the soil. The ground beneath our feet holds us up, never betraying us to the enemy. Our forests embrace us by hiding us in their branches, ensuring that we do not inadvertently betray ourselves.
We can adapt to any environment anywhere, and there are members of our race in places most have deemed too inhospitable. Although you may not see our brethren, you may rest assured that they are there watching you . . . making sure you do not do anything to offend them.
We are, in short, the guardians and keepers of this world. We do not try to prove that we are naturally better than everyone else. We only know that our abilities far exceed those of most, and our long lives give us the perspective to use these abilities to their fullest extent.
This is not to say that the world should sit at our beck and call. To the contrary, we do what we can to ensure that we do not interfere with its workings too greatly. Indeed, we see our mission as one of restoring the world after you others are done with it. Unlike you people, our lives are not devoted to the idea that we must change the world, for we are fully aware that the world will change itself when it must needs."
