Chainsaw Mage
First Post
Do you tire of wading through page after page of complex, philosophical, and sometimes downright contentious alignment threads? Would you like a simpler way to partake of their wisdom without sacrificing your precious time and/or sanity?
Fear not, dear novice. Whenever a thread appears with the words "Alignment" and/or "Paladin" in the title, skip reading the thread altogether, and instead consult this trusty chart which outlines for you, in point-by-point fashion, the 12 steps of all alignment threads:
1. The OP will ask a question about an in-game situation which raises moral and/or ethical questions. These questions will initially be raised with regards to D&D's alignment system.
2. Several posters will follow-up with their perspectives on the moral/ethical issue. Most of these posts will be confined to discussing the specific in-game issue.
3. One poster will use a real world illustration (the Holocaust and slavery are the two most commonly used) to attempt to show that the said action in the D&D game was somehow inappropriate or in need of a revised interpretation.
4. Several posters will complain that the illustration is inappropriate and that it is ultimately futile to discuss or debate moral/ethical standards, since no objective moral truths exist.
5. Some posters will take exception to this idea, and accuse the previous posters of having no morals or being "moral relativists." The specific meaning of the term "moral relativism" will not be discussed or clarified.
6. Additional posters will complain that the thread is being derailed and will attempt to address the original poster's question.
7. Several more posters will make comments to the effect that there are no moral absolutes. At some point one of these posters will make a derogatory remark about a specific religious group (usually Christians or Muslims).
8. A moderator will warn everyone to avoid discussion of real world religions and to stick to evaluating the original poster's argument.
9. Ignoring the moderator, another poster (sometimes a poster from step 5, sometimes a new poster) will challenge the posters who have previously been accused of being "moral relativists" to assess the moral standing of (a) child pornography, (b) the Nazi Holocaust, (c) rape, or (d) slavery, particularly in the American south and in Spanish colonial holdings.
10. A personal attack will ensue. This attack may originate with the posters who have been called "moral relativists" or it may originate with the posters from step 9. A nasty name will be used, which calls into question the other posters' (a) morals and ethics or (b) intelligence and reasoning ability.
11. Another poster will desperately try to get the thread back on track, by pretending that the moral/ethical/religious flamewar is in fact not occuring. Instead, they will post a long, thoughtful, well-written discussion of the specific D&D alignment issue raised by the original poster. No one will read this post.
12. The moderator will lock the thread.
Fear not, dear novice. Whenever a thread appears with the words "Alignment" and/or "Paladin" in the title, skip reading the thread altogether, and instead consult this trusty chart which outlines for you, in point-by-point fashion, the 12 steps of all alignment threads:
1. The OP will ask a question about an in-game situation which raises moral and/or ethical questions. These questions will initially be raised with regards to D&D's alignment system.
2. Several posters will follow-up with their perspectives on the moral/ethical issue. Most of these posts will be confined to discussing the specific in-game issue.
3. One poster will use a real world illustration (the Holocaust and slavery are the two most commonly used) to attempt to show that the said action in the D&D game was somehow inappropriate or in need of a revised interpretation.
4. Several posters will complain that the illustration is inappropriate and that it is ultimately futile to discuss or debate moral/ethical standards, since no objective moral truths exist.
5. Some posters will take exception to this idea, and accuse the previous posters of having no morals or being "moral relativists." The specific meaning of the term "moral relativism" will not be discussed or clarified.
6. Additional posters will complain that the thread is being derailed and will attempt to address the original poster's question.
7. Several more posters will make comments to the effect that there are no moral absolutes. At some point one of these posters will make a derogatory remark about a specific religious group (usually Christians or Muslims).
8. A moderator will warn everyone to avoid discussion of real world religions and to stick to evaluating the original poster's argument.
9. Ignoring the moderator, another poster (sometimes a poster from step 5, sometimes a new poster) will challenge the posters who have previously been accused of being "moral relativists" to assess the moral standing of (a) child pornography, (b) the Nazi Holocaust, (c) rape, or (d) slavery, particularly in the American south and in Spanish colonial holdings.
10. A personal attack will ensue. This attack may originate with the posters who have been called "moral relativists" or it may originate with the posters from step 9. A nasty name will be used, which calls into question the other posters' (a) morals and ethics or (b) intelligence and reasoning ability.
11. Another poster will desperately try to get the thread back on track, by pretending that the moral/ethical/religious flamewar is in fact not occuring. Instead, they will post a long, thoughtful, well-written discussion of the specific D&D alignment issue raised by the original poster. No one will read this post.
12. The moderator will lock the thread.
You completely missed my contribution to these threads: I attempt to argue that alignment is too internally inconsistent and attack everyone who states that the rules are coherent enough to follow.
