Are you a better person?

[Acquana]

It's a difficult question to answer. My mother grew up in a house with a violent, alcoholic father who nearly drove him and his entire family off a bridge. She did graduate college ... but more often than not she was in service positions as far as work. She put her dreams on hold to raise a family instead. I never knew the kind of family life she had, our house was full of love.

But at the same time ... She was always overprotective, and I find out within recent years that I'm more comfortable with my emotions than she ever could be. I've practically had to break myself from her ideas on maturity. I can't live swallowing down "negative" emotions, I can't consider putting aside anything I've worked to achieve (even if it is to make a family), I can't see why she's so unnerved by my desire to be surrounded by people all the time ... I think of her as a strong person, but just nothing like me. As far as how well I can handle the things that happen to me emotionaly, yes I suppose I am "better."

I'm closer to my dad honestly, and I can only pray that I can be ... well, half of the human being that he is. He's always been strong, self-made, and determined. I see reflections of myself all too often in him, and I know he sees the same. But I'm years behind and I'll never catch up, I don't think.

I may be stronger than my mom in some respects ... but I can't compete with my dad. Heck, I've barely gotten on the feild.

 

[Merlion]

I mostly reject the idea of anyone being "better" than anyone else except on the basic level of that a person who is selfish and thoughtless, or of course a person who actually goes out of their way to hurt others...be it on a small scale, or up to the level of serial killers and the like, is "worse" than a person who doesnt do those things.

Both my parents are, for the most part, not selfish, thoughtless, or hurtful, and neither am I...therefore I am no "better" than them, or vice versa.

I am better at certain things, yes.

I am more open minded and able to accept things than my mother, and I dont have my fathers occasional tendency to be a bit pessimistic and cynical...but again, that makes me neither better or worse.


Out of curiosity, is their any specific purpose to the question?

 

[IronWolf]

No way. My folks were great and did everything they could to make sure I got a nice solid foundation to work from. When it came to their kids they were pretty darn selfless. Still are in fact. Now that I am older I have an even better understanding of what they did help me out whenever they could. I hope to do the same for my son.

 

[Aust Diamondew]

Nope but considering my dad is nealy 50 years older than me I still have time to catch up.

 

[Sidereal Knight]

Am I a better man than my father? I'm afraid that I can't answer that question... my father died when I was very young, so I don't have a frame of reference to answer that question.

So, I'm going to answer this variant: am I a better person than my mother?

No. I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good person in many respects, and most of the credit for that is due to her efforts. But she (almost) single-handedly managed to raise me, hold down a full-time job as a teacher, care for her mother and mother-in-law, and have fun along the way.

Mom's an amazing person who started out on a farm during the Depression and has made it all the way to the 21st century. She's managed to grow along the way, and keep an open mind. It would take hours for me to cover everything she's managed to do with her life (most of it helping others). She is now, and has always been, my Hero.

 

[DaveStebbins]

Guys: Are you a better man than your father?

Beats me.

By all accounts my father was a hard working man, a good man who was a positive and constant influence in the lives of three of his four children. I have no idea why he wanted nothing to do with me. At the family lunch after his funeral a few years ago my older half-sister, my brother and my younger half-sister all had amusing and poignant stories to tell, like how he taught each of them to drive. All I could do was quiety eat my meal.

All I can say is that we are different people and made different decisions in our lives. I only have one child, but I am very involved in my daughter's life. She knows she is loved unconditionally and that I am extremely proud of her and of the young woman she is becoming.

Does that make me better than my father? I honestly don't know. I've never used him as a yardstick to measure any part of my life. Perhaps my siblings would have different opinions about his worth compared to mine. I just try to make sure every day of my life is as filled with love and joy and peace as I can. Let others judge.

-Dave

 

[Kelleris]

My father's a better person than I am.

He's braver, he's more giving, and he's a great father and husband. I can't even compete on that last one, since I'm a single by default (I don't pursue romantic relationships) and I'm fairly sure I'd be a horrible father. Maybe I'll get up to his level at some point - I'm hoping to make a positive difference studying philosophy and I do have some things going for me - but it'll never be entirely on my own merits. I owe Dad too much and have started too much farther ahead than he has (thanks to his efforts) to ever claim I'm better.

 

[Del]

My dad was a Cat operator, a horseman, total cowboy from the BC wilds. He died in 79 tired at the wheel and hit the pot-holes wrong. So he ends up steered off a cliff.

I don't think I'm better or worse then him.

Mom passed on of an anurism 3 years ago from smoking while on the nicotine patch.. Raised 2 kids by herself. Very strong woman, also very loud.

I miss her, but I don't think I'm better or worse, again.

 

[Buttercup]

Am I better than my mother? She was an emotionally abusive, spiteful, petty person and a virulent racist. I spent many years trying to do something, anything to please her, but it was in vain, because she despised me. After I married, my husband would not let her be alone in a room with me because of the way she verbally savaged me at every opportunity. When she became ill, I did my duty by her, to the best of my ability, but when she finally died, I was glad to finally be free of the hateful pall she cast on my life. The only reason I didn't spit on her grave is that I didn't want to shock or hurt the three little old ladies who were the only other attendees at the burial of her ashes.

Am I better than my mother? I'm a better friend, a better wife, a better citizen than she was. I'll never know if I would have made a better mother, because I swore early on never to have children, out of fear that I would recreate the toxic environment I grew up in.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Guys: Are you a better man than your father?

No. What good qualities I have can be attributed largely to his steady, calm demeanor and good (if rouhg-edged) nature.

He's had longer to practice than I have though, and while I am well thought of by my peers, my old man is positively beloved by the people who know him.