Arrr!!!


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Yarrgh! Earrin's are nothin'!
It's peg legs and hooks that be gettin' expensive now a days...

I done paid an arm an' a leg fer mine.
 
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Well I'll be keel-hauled! 'Tis a fina fair weather mornin' t' be raidin' the EN World Main wit' our crew o' scalywags 'n scurvy dogs.

So in honor o' th' day, I sings me piratin' songs:

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we're really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.
We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.


or

I want to be a pirate
A pirate's life for me
All my friends are pirates
And sail the B. B. sea
I've got a Jolly Roger
It's black and white and vast
Get out of your Skull and Crossbones
And I'll run it up your mast

With a yo-ho-ho
And a ya-ha-ha
And a ye-hee-hee-ho-hum
With a yo-ho-ho
And a ya-ha-ha
And a yum-yum-jum-jum


'Fer them moderistic rap pirates out there, I sing me rap piratin' tune:


On the high seas, it's the pirate
With the musket
At'cha head, and I'll fire it
"It's the return of the Red Beard!"
And Polly don't want a cracka'
I'm gonna make you back up
With the wind in the sail
Destination on to the temple
Where the boom lies in the ?bin full?
Outlaws ridin' beside me
I see a ship on the horizon
Comin' up, and I'm realizin'
It's time for another uprisin'
I'm manin' this attack by suprise n'
"Avast mates, fire up the cannon"
Right on the enemy's vessel it's landin'!
Look at all these ships sinkin' low, and goin' down
With the captain, that's goin' under
Let no man put us under
When me and my ship's rollin' like thunder

(hook)
Ghost rida'
On the seven seas fiya'
Pump that cannon when the flames get higha'
(x4)

I'm still on the high seas
Smellin' that salt of the ocean breeze
Feelin' that heat of the sun on my face with a 'Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum'
When you see my flag in the distance
You better run and call for assistance
"Cuz we're comin' on the pillage,
Killin' all the men, and takin' all the gold and the riches in the village"
"Pull up the anchor! Swap with the bounty!"
Headin' for the east where my enemies hound me
They wanna hang me for high treason and chivalry
And for many other reasons
Wanted dead, and a handsome reward for any mother who delivers my head
"Shiver me timbers!"
I'll burn your bloody ass to a cinder
So all you mothers remember

(hook)

Think of the many moons I been away from home
On the seven seas or wherever I roam
Black Beard takin' you down to the galley
How does it feel with my sword in your belly
You can face the cold shank
Or get ?blind funk it? when I'm makin' you walk the plank
Standin' over the edge in the dark

"Feed his bloody self to the Gosh darn sharks!"
The sound of a neck bone snappin' is what'cha in fo'
When ya on ya way to the sea flo'
"Sixteen men on a dead man's chest"
I killed them fools and I'll kill the rest
"I am what I am!"
And I'm not a land lubba'
When ya hear the musket, you all take cova'
"Fire one, fire two, fire three!
Don't ever forget about me!"
'Cause I'm the ghost rider' on the storm
Keepin' the cannons warm

(hook)
 

Arrr! Dat's landlubber song, matey! Avast, real pirate song:


We're a band of vicious pirates!
A-sailin´ out to sea.
When you hear our gentle singing...
You'll be sure to turn and flee!
-
Oh, this is just ridiculous.
-
Come on, men! We've got to recover that map!
That pirate will be done for, when he falls into our trap!
We're a club of tuneful rovers!
We can sing in every clef!
We can even hit the high notes!
It's just too bad we're tone deaf!
-
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!
-
Let's go defeat that evil pirate!
We know he's sure to lose, ´cause we know just where to fire at!
-
We're thieving balladeers.
A gang of cutthroat mugs.
To fight us off ye don't need guns!
Just really good ear-plugs!
-
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!
-
All right, crew, let's get to work!
Our vocation is a thing we love, a thing we'd never shirk.
-
We'll fight you in the harbor.
We'll battle you on land.
But when you meet singing pirates...
They'll be more than you can stand.
-
Ooooh! That was a good one!
No, it wasn't.
-
No time for song! We've got to move!
The battle will be long, but our courage we will prove!
-
We're a pack a´ scurvy sea-dogs.
Have we pity? Not a dram!
We all eat roasted garlic...
...then sing from the diaphragm!
-
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!
-
Less singing, more sailing.
When we defeat our wicked foe, his ship he will be bailing!
-
If ye try ta fight us...
...you will get a nasty whackin´!
If ya disrespect our singing´...
...we will feed ya to a kraken!
-
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!
-
I´m getting so sick of you guys and your rhyming.
We´re ready to set sail, through the cannons need a-priming.
-
We're troublesome corsairs!
And we've come to steal your treasures!
We would shoot you on the downbeat...
...but we have to rest five measures.
-
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!
-
Stop! Stop! Stop!
The brass is what we'll polish and the deck is what we'll mop.
-
You say you're nasty pirates...
...scheming, thieving, bad bushwhackers?
From what I've seen I tell you...
...you're not pirates! You're just slackers!
-
A pirate I was meant to be!
Trim the sails and roam the sea!
-
We'll surely avoid scurvy if we all eat an orange.
And...!
...um...
Well...
...err...
Door hinge?
No, no...
Guess the song's over, then.
Guess so.
Okay, back to work.
Oh gee. I feel a little guilty, now.
 


Yarrr. If I be singin' then I be drunker than a three-headed monkey hangin' off yonder sail.

Keep yer powder dry, for El Pollo Diablo be comin' for ya! He'll peck ya ta death, says I. Arrr.

JediSoth
 

So, this Pirate is applying for a job at McDonalds, and the manager is interviewing him to be a fry cook.

"Ah, so Captain Red-Beard, we're pretty concerned about worker-safety here at McDonalds. You seem qualified, but can I ask how you lost your leg?"

"Arrr, I was sailin' round the Cape Horn when me ship encountered a fearsome gale. The riggin's snapped and the mizzenmast a toppled right down on atop me. The saw-bones had to cut me free from the wreckage."

"Right, that's very... colorful. What a bout the hook hand?"

"Some french bucaneers shot me w/a cannon full o' grape-shot as I was cutting across the aft deck with me cutlass. "

"Right... And the eye patch?"

"Arrr. First day with the hook."
 


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