Arrr!!!

[Ferret]

Yarr, har har and a bottle o' rum! 'Ere be yer real words to the finest pirate sea shanty ever know, and sung by blaack beard 'im self!

Narrator: "Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt, who together make up
the infamous gang of scalliwags, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"
Larry, Pa, Mr. Lunt: "We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just
stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just
tell you ..."
Larry: "We don't do anything!"
Pa: "Well, I've never been Greenland and I've never been to Denver, and
I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul, and I've never been
to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa, and I've never been to Boston in
the fall."
All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home
and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you
.."
Mr. Lunt: "We don't do anything. And I never hoist the mainstay and I
never swab the poop deck, and I never veer to starboard 'cuz I never
sail at all, and I've never walked the gang plank and I've never owned a
parrot, and I've never been to Boston in the fall."
All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home
and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you
.. We don't do anything!"
Larry: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at
ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall,
and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and
I've never been to Boston in the fall!"
Pa: "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed
potatoes have to do with being a pirate??"
Mr. Lunt: "Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y
things!"
Larry: "Oh ..."
Pa: "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even
bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"
Mr. Lunt: "I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!"
Pa: "Huh? No I don't!"
Mr. Lunt: "Do too."
Pa: "Do not!"
Mr. Lunt: "You're making me hungry."
Pa: "That's it, you're walkin' the plank!"
Mr. Lunt: "Says who?"
Pa: "Says the captain, that's who!"
Mr. Lunt: "Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch!"
Larry: "And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a
stink bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and
I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings ..."
Pa: "You just don't get it!"
All: "And we've never been to Boston in the fall!"

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

If anyone needs me, I'll be battening down my hatch IYKWIMAITYD.

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

Accountancy Shanty

LEAD PIRATE:
Full speed ahead, Mr. Cohen!

CHORUS:
Up, up, up your premium. Up, up, up your premium.
PIRATE:
Scribble away!
CHORUS:
Up, up, up your premium.
PIRATE:
And balance the books.
CHORUS:
Up, up, up your premium.
PIRATE:
Scribble away!
CHORUS:
Up, up, up your premium.
PIRATE:
But manage the books.
CHORUS:
Up, up, up.

PIRATES:
It's fun to charter an accountant
And sail the wide accountancy,
To find, explore the funds offshore
And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy!

It can be manly in insurance.
We'll up your premium semi-annually.
It's all tax deductible.
We're fairly incorruptible,
We're sailing on the wide accountancy!

LEAD PIRATE:
Oh, this is fun, Mr. Cohen!
PIRATE:
Sail away!...
CHORUS:
Up, up, up...
LEAD PIRATE:
Fetch me another exotic sheroot. To port! Bring the port to sherry! And the medium dry sherry to port! Balance the books! Bring me another small sheroot, Mr. Cohen...

 

[FoxWander]

Arr, and in honor o' this fine day I done pluck'd out me avatarrrs eye, so 'e be a right, proper pirate.

Tis a cryin' shame this day did fall at weeks end. Twould be lovely indeed to celebrate it proper whilst I toil away launchin' jets for the Arr Force.

 

[Klaus]

Bring this rig to a halt over at the anchorage, scurvvy dogs! This bonny day be nigh at an end, and By Thunder! I am far from my highest mark at the rum-tally, savvy?

Huh? Whass'at, Capn' Flint?

"Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!"

Most well-said, Capn' Flint!

Full sail to Barataria, lads!


"Claw Joe" Pozas
grandnephew of Jean Laffite, the Gentleman Pirate

 

[David Howery]

Arr, damn ye to Davy Jones, ya think you're eating a plum duff when they tips ya the black spot, arr.

Sorry, that's all the pirate jargon I can remember from Treasure Island....

 

[barsoomcore]

Ahoy n avast, ye scallawags! I trust ye'll all remember ta be usin' yer own PIRATE KEYBOARDS:

RRRRRRRrrrrrrr!!!!!!! RRRR!!!!

 

[Truth Seeker]

Blast you...none of ye sail has the dangerou seas as me did...Aiiii, hear teh call of tha sirens..

Fought teh killer fishies that caan strip bare a screaming fool who can't swim...

Sail on the greatest scurriest scuttleboat ful of ye best cutthroats to ever sail teh SeVen seass...

Taste the pounting lips of crying lasses, and lay low the screaming husbands that can't keep them...Aiiiiii, many tatsed me deadlly steel.

From stern to bow...the waters was me teacher, the ship me home...

Fought to keep me treasures, and took me fill to keep me freee...Arrrrrrrrgh...

Dance witt the devil me did...Aye...those lowly dogs give the Englishhh, Frenchies a run to teh gallows...no regrets.

Have at YE!!!!

 

[CarlZog]

Privateers, pirates...It's a thin line sometimes, so here's my musical two cents:


Barrett's Privateers
by Stan Rogers



Oh, the year was 1778, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
A letter of marque come from the king,
To the scummiest vessel I'd ever seen,

CHORUS:
God damn them all!
I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold
We'd fire no guns-shed no tears
Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier
The last of Barrett's Privateers.

Oh, Elcid Barrett cried the town, HOW I WISH I WAS . . .
For twenty brave men all fishermen who
would make for him the Antelope's crew
(chorus)

The Antelope sloop was a sickening sight,
She'd a list to the port and and her sails in rags
And the cook in scuppers with the staggers and the jags
(chorus)

On the King's birthday we put to sea,
We were 91 days to Montego Bay
Pumping like madmen all the way
(chorus)

On the 96th day we sailed again,
When a bloody great Yankee hove in sight
With our cracked four pounders we made to fight
(chorus)

The Yankee lay low down with gold,
She was broad and fat and loose in the stays
But to catch her took the Antelope two whole days
(chorus)

Then at length we stood two cables away,
Our cracked four pounders made an awful din
But with one fat ball the Yank stove us in
(chorus)

The Antelope shook and pitched on her side,
Barrett was smashed like a bowl of eggs
And the Maintruck carried off both me legs
(chorus) So here I lay in my 23rd year,
It's been 6 years since we sailed away
And I just made Halifax yesterday
(chorus)

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

Arrrr, now what do dwarven pirates sound like, bucko?

Shiver me timbers! We don't be bloody knowin' how ter swim! AARRR!!!!