Asking Me For A Job

[barsoomcore]

So I've spent pretty much the entire day reviewing resumes for a couple of positions we have, and my brain is overflowing with all the annoying things people do in their resumes that shoot themselves right in the foot.

Like:

1. Don't mention the specific position you're applying for in the email subject.

Buh-bye. If you don't know what you're applying for, why should I go to the effort of figuring it out?

2. Allow grammatical/spelling/usage errors to appear in either your email or your resume.

Gee, nice attention to detail, buddy. Maybe you're NOT the sort of person to whom we want to entrust our company's future.

3. Include a separate cover letter as an attachment.

I'm not even going to read that. Why would I? I'm going straight to your resume. If you've got something to say beyond what's in your resume, put it in the email.

4. Opening matter in your resume of a page or so before you get to your work experience.

When I see huge long lists of "Languages I Know" or "Technologies" or whatever, I start getting impatient. Tell me what you've DONE, not what you can reasonably claim to KNOW.

5. Funky Resume Formatting.

My favourite resumes are plain text. They're just so much easier to read.

6. Thirty Bullet Points In A Row

Bullets are meant to be "highlights". At a certain number, highlights cease to be highlights, you know?

7. Empty emails.

If you just send me an email with an attachment or two and don't even bother saying "Hi", don't be surprised when I don't even bother saying, "Goodbye." I mean, seriously. The one thing you KNOW I'm going to read is the email body itself (unless you didn't mention the specific job in the subject, of course) -- why wouldn't you take advantage of that to try and catch my eye?

8. Untargetted submissions.

As soon as I start to sense you aren't applying for THIS job in particular, but are just sending your resume out at anything that looks remotely close to your skillset, I stop reading. I've got a hundred resumes from people who want THIS job, I'm not going to waste my time on people who'll take any job they can get.

9. Saying stupid things.

One guy said, "I don't know the language you're working with specifically, but I learned PHP in two days so I'm sure I'll be able to learn that language in no time." He actually put that in his resume. I mean, that's not an English-as-a-second-language error (which I could forgive the "I have spent 10 years in IT exceeding 15 years" (?) as). That's just stupid.

 

[trilobite]

So I take it your employed yourself now BC? Glad to hear it! Where are you working?

 

[Torm]

Alright. Now go back and make all of your numbered points consistently either negative or positive, and if you're going to use a sentence fragment for one, you have to use one for all of them. You can't expect us to read your post as it is now!

Just kidding. It is good to hear that my resume would apparently appeal to you, at any rate. It hasn't been doing me much good so far. :\ But soon, soon....

 

[barsoomcore]

I'm a software project manager at a Vancouver high-tech firm. We're growing fast and it's sunny out today. Things are good.

The Vancouver industry is SO volatile. Companies rise and fall with spectacular rapidity. July I got fired, October I got hired with a 15% increase in salary. Such is life hereabouts. This company will probably crash and burn in another couple of years.

Torm: When YOU'RE the boss, you can complain about MY writing.

 

[Stone Angel]

I recently was asked to interview a new hire possibility. I work for an industrial weigh scale company. He was going for a technicians position. His resume said he had 3yrs of maintenance experience in an automotive plant so my boss told me to check him out.

During his interview I asked him some technical questions about voltage, and some situational questions and how he would handle them. All he wanted to do was talk about his pay, not that thats a big bad no no I suppose, but we never offered him anything yet. So he explained to me that withing 90 days of his hire he needed to be making at least $80,000 a year! I made a note of it and kept on with the interview, he proceeded to ask me four more times about salary. Uggh I am glad that I don't do that all the time.


The Seraph of Earth and Stone

 

[Desdichado]

See, now that's just stupid. Sure; one of the functions of an interview is to give the applicant a chance to know something about the company to which he's a prospective employee, but if you don't concentrate on actually getting the offer first, you probably won't. Then you can worry about salary.

Of course, in the ideal world, you've have a pretty decent bakllpark idea before you started so it wouldn't be an issue.

 

[Darrin Drader]

Hey BC, glad to hear you got my resume. Could you do me a favor and NOT roll it up, light it on fire, and then use it to light your cigar? Just a simple request. Kthanksbye.

 

[Andre]

3. Include a separate cover letter as an attachment.

As someone looking for a job, I'm going to question this one. I don't know what email software the recipient uses and I've seen too many messages mangled when two different email packages try to interact. By making my letter an attachment, I can be reasonably sure that you'll see what I wrote the way I wrote it. That said, if a job advertisement specifically says not to attach the cover letter, I have no problem with that - I'll assume the recipient has a good reason and follow their instructions.

BTW, thanks for sharing. It helps to get a peek at the other side of the process. Hope you find a good candidate.

 

[nerfherder]

As someone looking for a job, I'm going to question this one. I don't know what email software the recipient uses and I've seen too many messages mangled when two different email packages try to interact.

You can always send the email as plain text. It's probably the safest way to ensure readability.

Cheers,
Liam

 

[barsoomcore]

You can always send the email as plain text. It's probably the safest way to ensure readability.

I got SO much love for plain text, I don't know what to say.

I mean, what kind of formatting does a cover letter require?

NONE.

Put it in an attachment, I GUARANTEE I won't read it. You might be happier with the formatting, but that's all for naught since I'm just going to go straight to the resume.