D&D 5E Avernus tourist items

[jasper]

So you stuck in Avernus and Mahadi's Emporium what tourist items could you buy?
Hats with slogans. Visited Avernus, Stole hat, Kept Soul. Descend to Avernus, Stole this hat, Kept my Soul. Visited Sunny Avernus, Stole this hat, Lost my Soul. Avernus Adventurer, Hat thief, Soul keeper.
TShirt with slogans, Sold my soul to company store. Visited Avernus, Had a hell of good time. Hair shirt, soul shirt, my shirt.
Infernal Rapture. Placemat slogans. It is REAL soul food. Chicken Soup for your soul. Imps it's what for dinner.
Do you have any other tourist item ideas?

 

[Reynard]

Giant foam #1 finger with "Zauriel" printed on it.
Overly expensive, cheaply made key chains of the different infernal war machines.
Taudry T-shirts showing succubi and incubi in almost NSFW poses and bearing terrible innuendo puns (thunk "Suck You. Bye.")

 

[Stormonu]

Hollyphant balloons.

 

[Coroc]

M..... Avernus g....t again

 

[Reynard]

M..... Avernus g....t again

This is a standard joke in my BG: DiA game.

 

[Eltab]

Snacks and munchies. There are some problems, though:

• The can of potato chips is full of broken chip shards and fragments if you drive any distance over bumpy terrain
• Lays potato chips "Bet you can't eat more than one"
• The refilled waterskins have the temperature reaction (cold drink / warm air) and "sweat" themselves empty.
• Real Aztec Chocolate ... is unsweetened and bitter.
• Granola bar turns into dust and seeds and filler.
• Granola bar sticks to the wrapper when opened.
• Cadbury Egg has an immature chick in it, is missing the yolk
• Avernus brand M&Ms melt in your hand, not in your mouth.
• Cheetos taste suspiciously like cheetah fur
• Milk is most of the way to cottage cheese when you open it
• "Chicken soup" is actually made out of that scraggly-looking bird with Petrification ability. The ability lingers: suffer a DEX penalty because you just feel stiff all over.
• Jerky made from exotic beasts. Do not ask which ones.
• Fruit-flavored Pop-TARTS
• Veggie plates feature lima beans, broccoli, asparagus, and brussle sprouts.
• Candy is so sickeningly sweet that you can only eat one.
• Trying to set an ambush? Your tummy rumbles at the worst time.

 

[Bohandas]

*They confiscate the stuff you came in with and then sell it back to you

*a book entitled "Chicken Soup For The Damned"

*A 1958 Ford Edsel

*12The merchandise of gold, and silver, and precious stones, and of pearls, and fine linen, and purple, and silk, and scarlet, and all thyine wood, and all manner vessels of ivory, and all manner vessels of most precious wood, and of brass, and iron, and marble, 13And cinnamon, and odours, and ointments, and frankincense, and wine, and oil, and fine flour, and wheat, and beasts, and sheep, and horses, and chariots, and slaves, and souls of men.

*A finger trap with metal spikes on the inside

*shirt/mug/hat/keychain/postcard: "Greetings from Darkspine, where the fun is mandatory"

*political hats and bumperstickers for all major real-world political parties

*Ed Gein style handicrafts

*My First Necronomicon

 

[Dioltach]

A postcard showing Zariel saying "Wish you were here!"
A 7-headed Tiamat bobblehead.

Actually, you could just take the inventory of pretty much any seaside giftshop and it would work. Inflatable beds with slow punctures, cigarettes that have dried out, T-shirts that disintegrate the first time they're washed, any battery-powered children's toy or plastic musical instrument ...

 

[Bohandas]

*The Whizzo Quality Assortment of chocolates

*Fancy scented soaps made out of people

*Headwear with fake plastic devil horns built in (cf. the disney merch with the fake mouse ears)

*The E.T. videogame

*ordinary knick-knacks, except with a stamp on them proudly proclaiming that they were made in a sweatshop