Axioms of D&D

[SonOfLilith]

read quote below

 

[Falcon]

When a knowledgeable NPC describes three ways of escpape for the party, two of which involve allies of his, and the third of which is described as "tough, dangerous, and filled with brigands and unknown magicks," the PCs take the tough way. Then they complain about it when half their party ends up dead, and it took them three times as long as it "should have" (according to the map) to get where they needed to go.

 

[Vuron]

Large populations of Half- templates indicate Celestials, Fiends, Elementals, and Dragons like sex with mortals.

 

[Gez]

Axiom 37 of fantasy ecology: when you're immortal or very, very long lived, you enjoy variety after three centuries or four.

Corrolary 1: Celestials, Dragons and Fiends like sex with mortals and even weirder things.

Corrolary 2: Don't whine if your party was wiped out because you didn't notice the half-black dragon fly you tried to squash was a half-dragon fly.

 

[GravyFingerz]

5- Look before you sit down

LOL, this was observed in a 2nd edition game long ago. One of the PC's decided to use the restroom in a dungeon (please don't ask, I don't remember it well and it was very strange )

Well, there was a Hydra in the latrine. When he sat down, he got attacked, and you know he has to be prone. This gave rise to two sayings among our group:

1) Look before you leak.
2) If that's not prone, I don't know what is.

 

[Sodalis]

#128345281) Style points will win more battles than a well trained- maxed out fighter with spell casting ability.....

#128345282) the stupider the idea, the more likely it will work.

#128345283) never expect a PC to do something simple (and then reward them for it) because it will not be done. EX- take 20 on the room...the PC will make seaerch checks instead...

#128345284) the tavern is the only reliable source of information

#128345285) the barkeep can never die- even after 100 poison tipped arrows, and a flame strike. Although his bar will be burned and broken. But the Pcs will always have enough cash to pay him for the damages

#128345286) rich people and people with lots o power will always die...

 

[Dieter]

LOL, this was observed in a 2nd edition game long ago. One of the PC's decided to use the restroom in a dungeon (please don't ask, I don't remember it well and it was very strange )

Well, there was a Hydra in the latrine. When he sat down, he got attacked, and you know he has to be prone. This gave rise to two sayings among our group:

1) Look before you leak.
2) If that's not prone, I don't know what is.

Our incidents of #5 included:

1) The chairs we were sitting on had high-tensile strength glue with TNT strapped under them.

2) One of our players ended up going into the bathroom stall where Orcus just happened to be doing his business.

 

[Rowenstin]

When confronted to a problem, (i.e. a door) the PCs will try this sequence of actions:

1-Kill it (I bash the door)
2-Burn it (I fireball the door)
3-Talk to it (er... Mr door?)
4-Think (I open the door)

 

[Quickbeam]

When the DM suddenly starts describing something in great detail, prepare to roll for initiative.

LOL. How very true !!

Allow me to add DM Axiom #12:
There is no more reliable curse in all of gaming than, "You cannot possibly fail/miss unless you roll a 1."

 

[Henry]

DM Axiom #12:
There is no more reliable curse in all of gaming than, "You cannot possibly fail/miss unless you roll a 1."

YES! My players give me the most vile looks when I say this to them just before a roll.

How about Henry's Rule #14 - the "Bruce Campbell Rule" : Most players will forget to write down an important set of instructions before they need them, and then ASK YOU what the instructions were just as they are ready to use them.

Keep a close eye on the ones that DO write them down.