Banning a Player from my Group. Am I Justified?

[Hjorimir]

Yeah, maybe the two of them can go shopping for shoes or skirts or something.

Since when do grown men settle their gaming differences by having a private heart to heart?

Just tell him (a) you're the DM, (b) he's acting like a prick and (c) he's getting the boot.

Man up!

So you're not a man if you try to talk out your differences. Yeah, okay. A campaign is far more important than a friend (which is what I'm assuming we're talking about here...a friend). Sure, if he is just some "guy" you don't give a twit about, it would be easier to just curb him.

 

[Nifft]

So you're not a man if you try to talk out your differences.

(Correct me if I'm wrong here.) I think the point is more like:

1/ Player obviously doesn't respect the DM;
2/ Player tries to get his way by disrupting the game.

He's abusing what power he has. He's refusing to read the rules. He must know he's not acting in the interests of the group.

What is there to talk about?

Cheers, -- N

 

[AdmundfortGeographer]

A campaign is far more important than a friend (which is what I'm assuming we're talking about here...a friend).

Not a friend, the OP in fact never used the word "friend" to describe him. He did say this:

The player did go to high school with me, but we haven’t been close for a long time now . . .

So, not a friend. Just a guy he used to sort-of-know-better 15 years ago. No heart-to-heart. Just the curb.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

After reading your reply in post #23, I'd say you've already done enought to try to bring him into your campaign.

The time for accomodating him is over. He's being childish- boot him.

If and when he feels like rejoining the adults, ask the other players if they'd have him back, and ask for their reasons. This isn't a time for requiring a majority or unanimous vote- you would need to know how the others feel about letting him return to the table, you need to know the strength of emotion such an action would stir up.

 

[KingCrab]

Not a friend, the OP in fact never used the word "friend" to describe him.

Yeah. 15 years ago we were friends but we haven't gotten along at all in recent years. We've both changed a lot since high school.

 

[Brennin Magalus]

Yeah, maybe the two of them can go shopping for shoes or skirts or something.

Or they can express their feelings in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental way by using sock puppets. After all, the player doesn't need confrontation, he needs carefrontation!

 

[Hjorimir]

Well I guess I'm the fool. But, then again, I only play with friends in the first place.

 

[RodneyThompson]

Sounds like you're justified in applying Das Boot.

Also sounds eerily similar to an experience Chris Tulach (RPGA content manager type person) had at a con. A player who knew nothing about 3.X and tried to apply past-edition logic to a 3.5 game. It can be disruptive at best, especially when you have other people trying to play by the rules. It's not just rude to the DM, but to the other players.

 

[Harmon]

Sit down with him, go to coffee or lunch or something, explain to him that his lack of interest in the current system is destroying your love of the game.

Ask him to tell you why he refuses to go into 3.5e, and see what he says. Talk about it, tell him how you feel and tell him your intents, if he doesn't care about your position then ask him to leave the game.

This is gonna be either tough or a great experience for your friendship. I hope the latter, best of luck.

 

[Milagroso]

I'm not sure if I can say anything better then what has already been posted thus far, but to add my 2 cp: Everyone is pretty much in a consensus of giving this guy the ol' heave ho.

The only thing you have to do now is find the best way to tell this guy that he is no longer welcome at the games. If you have spoken to him about this already, then he has already abused his friendship with you. If there isn't much of a friendship, and you don't socialize with this guy at all in real life then simply tell him that you and the players have reached an agreement in that he is not what the group is looking for. If he apologizes and begs for another chance either grant to him on the basis that you feel he will make an honest effort, or deny him on the grounds that no matter what he does now, he has caused too much damage already.

But do give him the boot.

I've already lost one group because I had one player who I refused to boot. I would not wish that on anyone.