In which case then, either you weren't trying very hard as a player (utilizing your own magic where necessary - and not needing a thousand wizard buffs either) or your DM was giving no consideration to what your character-build was trying to do. I found this type of fighter a lot of fun to play. YMOV.
But that's the problem - at the end of the day, it's not your fighter who's doing everything, it's the magical buffs supporting you.
Strip away the magic. What can your fighter do?
Initially for me, it went way beyond roll a d20 and roll high. I'm talking about every class using the same at will/encounter/daily mechanic; everyone who gets "poisoned" has the same chance of recovering from it regardless of anything (level, con, expertise etc.), all the different character's fort/reflex/will were basically the same three numbers shifted around depending upon not very much. There was not much to differentiate them from each other. They were a generic character first, playing a role second and then third was their class which determined the particular flavour of their role. For me, this was completely arse about. Again YMMV.
But see, I again saw the same thing in the 2e -> 3e change. Nihil novi sub sole. Everyone has skills? Everyone gains feats? Everyone gets iterative attacks? For many, that told them "Everyone is the same."
But when you dive into the powers and see how they work - just as in 3e when you dive into the character abilities - you see the differences. Rogue powers and fighter powers and cleric powers are all radically different.
Surprisingly, you really seem to have the blinkers on with this statement. The fighter in the Kingmaker campaign I'm GMing is doing exactly the same as you are describing with your 4e fighter. Perhaps it does come down more to the players and GM than the ruleset (although I will say that 4e "encourages" this more so than 3e).
I would be interested in seeing your character or the game to see how it's going, to be honest.
I disagree with this. Understanding all the ins and outs of a variety of magical effects is far more complex than handling a handful of feats. Both classes are OK at first level (and most "newbies" as you put it would be happy to accept advice as to what will make their character more useful). At higher levels though, spellcasters get a lot more complex than the fighter.
You honestly don't need to grasp the ins and outs of various magical effects. Someone who chooses color spray on whim because it sounds cool is going to rock the game at level 1. If they choose another spell and do poorly, they change it. A fighter who chooses Toughness cannot change it.
This isn't even really contested - the 3e developers have openly stated that System Mastery was a purposeful part of the game. The difference is that when you do badly at System Mastery as a fighter,
you're stuck in it. When you do badly as a wizard,
you can change it. There are far more "player traps" in feats then there are in spells. The biggest trap a wizard can make is focusing on damage and evocation. That's it, that's the biggest trap, and honestly potentially the only ones. Bad spell choice? Change it. Bad feats? Wizards are incredibly independent from feat choice. Their only flaw is a bad focus on what their wizard will do - and even then, they're still doing damage and doing something. For the fighter, all he has are feats - and that's where system mastery comes into play the most. Feats are a minefield.
The balance problem in 3e isn't with complex spells or combos or CharOps shenanigans. The flaw is that all it takes is for someone to say "Hey druid sounds cool, I'll take natural spell so I can just always be a bear," and just like that he's a powerhouse.
In addition, if a new player came up to you saying they were disappointed in how their character's feat selection was turning out, would you just slam the door in their face and say "sucker!" or would you try to help them out? Again, I appreciate that 4e has hardcoded effective characters into the game but at what cost? For some, this cost is too high. For others, this is what they've been looking for. To each their own.
Quite frankly, unless I was using DMG2's respec rules, then my only other recourse is to houserule. By the 3e rules, you have to slam the door. Certainly you can houserule it, but if you have to houserule things, then there's a problem. Again, Monte Cook has openly stated that this was an intentional part of 3e.
My feel with 4e is this - in 4e, I can make a character who's useful in combat
and has stuff to do outside of combat. In 3e, the only way I could really do that is by making a spellcaster. For me, the non-combat part is the key. In 3e, you have 2+int skills as a fighter - and int ain't your main. You can climb and swim. Or climb and jump. Or swim and jump. That's all your fighter has outside of combat, unless you throw the whole skill system away.
I'd be careful with this one that you don't fall into the assumption trap here. In case you were wondering, I've played 4e regularly since it's release and have had a DDI account since it came out. I'm sure others on this thread have also had greater exposure to the latest D&D version than perhaps you are giving credit.
For what it's worth, I wasn't referring to you in that statement
