D&D 5E (2014) Building an Adventure (Flavor text)

[GMforPowergamers]

Hey guys.

As some of you know I am an aspiring writer. One of my mentors suggested since I love this game and play so much I should get my feet wet with writing adventures for the DMGuild. So another writer friend and I are working on a series of adventures and going to put them up soon. I wanted some feed back though. I know we all make fun of the 'read this' text in old adventures. How much of that do you think is worth putting in a modern one?

I already have a background, and a bunch of sidebars to help the DM understand or explain, but I thought it best if the DM used there own words instead of mine...

I'm looking for some thoughts on this... what do you guys think?

 

[Voi_D_ragon]

If space isn't an issue, I'd say put as much as you like. It's good for people that need the help, and people that don't can just skip it, although it would still probably give them the general idea of how to describe the place (thing. Person. Being. You get it).

 

[robus]

I'll go the other way and say keep it short Focus on the senses: What does the place look, smell, sound like first. Then go with some concrete items: exits, large items. If there's more than one entrance don't assume an entrance for the description.

Something that I think is often missed is read-aloud text for major NPCs (including monsters). It would be great to have some description of them in the adventure.

 

[hawkeyefan]

What about a small list of bullet points? Just some details about the room that need to be conveyed, and maybe a note or two about how to present them. This list could then be easily absorbed by the DM and then paraphrased as he saw fit.

 

[Quickleaf]

I highly recommend checking out my thread What do you want in a published adventure / Adventure design best practices. One of the most common patterns from the comments was that folks DO want boxed text that is direction-neutral & concise.

Several DMs pointed out that they found (well-written) boxed text valuable because it allows them to quickly "grok" an encounter or a numbered location, without having to hunt for information in the full description.

However, there was universal agreement that not all boxed text is created equal. Most folks seem to prefer boxed text that is evocative while remaining concise, provides what the PCs sense (as in the five senses) without getting bogged down in detail, and does NOT go into flowery text that makes assumptions about what the PCs are doing or how they are approaching (e.g. no "opening the door, you find..." because maybe the group casts passwall, maybe they sneak in behind monsters that opened the door, maybe they create an alternate entry to the room, etc.).

 

[Rodney Mulraney]

My own take is that if someone has bothered to download/buy some adventure module, you should provide them with the box text as is the standard.

As soon as you start to go the route of "leaving to the imagination" you are failing to provide the material that is expected. Why not just not write a module at all, and leave it to the imagination of others. Your job as an adventure writer is to tell us what your imagination has come up with.

It is a pet hate of mine when fiction leaves things to the imagination of the reader, If I wanted to use my imagination to come up with things, I wouldnt be reading a book, I'd be writing one.

 

[aco175]

I like to take a few days break and re-read the text out loud to myself. I find things that do not make sense and need to rewrite. Better is to have another person read it and make notes. Playtest (better to have another playtest) to see where other options lay. You may think that the obvious thing is right there, but the players may miss it and do something else. Add back things to make up what was missed.

Same thing with stat blocks, which was not your question, but everyone here seems to have opinions about what to include or leave out. I find that my group likes a few sentences on room description and a few on any monsters in the room. There are also a sentence or two on things that are different or unique that may draw attention to, such as something glowing or wet when all the other rooms are dry. This is kind of like introduction test to the whole module. Some like a lot of lead in and others want just a paragraph or two before they start to wander.