Can I get your opinion on the Race I created

[kpazzh0ly]

Alright I haven't posted on here in quite some time because we got into the campaign. I haven't made any NPC's with this race yet. They will be coming soon as they are going to be more involved with the story. Let me know what you think of the revisions.

I created this race as basic race. Something I haven't ever done before. This is specific to what I am doing in my campaign. Another note would be that they are modeled, as best I see fit, to Native American tribes.

+I really would like to get an opinion of the campaign so far and how to make it more enticing for the players, but there is a lot writing that I wrote for it.

Maeti

Maeti are medium humanoids. They are known for their devotion to the earth and the spirit world around them. They share skillful crafters and have a deep knowledge of the earth and her secrets. They have poor ability to withstand magic as they feel it is unnatural. Mae'ti favor and appreciate organic and raw beauty of that which is made from the earth. They are drawn to protect all living creatures however, when danger threatens their own the Mae'ti will dispose of the threat in anyway possible.

Personality:

Thier culture is the most important part of their life which misunderstood by most. They are peaceful and calm and think long before they react. When in doubt they consult the spirits to guide their way . Maeti value nature and regard gold, precious jewelery and such treasures as a distraction. They live one with the earth and they look to spirits for answers. Maeti can live in human lands but they prefer to live amongst their own. They are well known for their spiritual arts. Maeti, like elves, share an extended life span but they reach adulthood much sooner. At the age of 70 they are adults and the rest of their adulthood they devote themselves to their spirit guides.

Physical Description:

Maeti stand only 5 1/2 to 6 feet tall. They are usually fit and weigh anywhere from 135lbs to 200lbs. Maetis' skin is typically deep tan or light brown, and their eyes are gem tones. Their hair is blue and worn long. They have pointy ears and their fascial features resemble that of human. Mae'ti are considered adults at about age 70, and they can live to be more than 700 years old.

Relations:

Maeti due to their peaceful nature get along with most races. They find other races to be peculiar and try to understand thier ways. They have no enemy unless they are threatened. They see all living things to have a binding life force and they aim to protect that.

Alignment:
Due to their discipline they tend to be lawful neutral and rarely.

Mae'ti Lands:
Maeti prefer to live near areas where all four elements are present: air, forrest, mountains and water. Their settlements are unknown to outside races. Their culture is very secretive and very well gaurded from outsiders. Only a rare few have been honored to see with-in their walls.

Religion:
The Maeti, while acknowledging the existence of the powerful outsiders known to others as deities, do not consider these outsiders to be truly divine and so do not worship them. Instead, they believe in the energy from the earth and spirits around them. They can feel power from all living things and therefore they devote themselves to preserving all life.

Language:
Maeti speak Maetin which is very similar to Dwarven and Orcish. Maetin has its own characters. Due to the fact that it is similar to Orcish and Dwarven they can also comunicate in these languages.

Name:
Maeti names are given to them at a Name Ceremony. The family gets together and celebrate the birth of the child. At this ceremony the family gathers around a fire and prays to the spirits. During this ritual the spirit guides reveal a name for the Mae'ti. Therefore Mae'ti names have a tendency to be organic.

Adventurers:
Maeti adventure in search of knowledge and to protect any living thing endangered. In their adventures they try to become closer with the spirits and learn about other religions and races unfamiliar to them.

Maeti Racial Traits:
+2 Dexterity, +2 Wisdom, -2 Constitution
Medium: As Medium creatures, Mae'ti have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
Maeti base land speed is 30 feet.
Maeti suffer a -2 on saves vs spells against them.
Dark-Vision: Maeti can see in the dark up to 60 feet. Darkvision is black and white only, but it is otherwise like normal sight, and Maeti can function just fine with no light at all.
+2 Racial bonus on Perception checks.
+2 Racial bonus on survival checks.
+4 Racial bonus on Diplomacy and Intimidate checks.
Maeti also start with an extra feat at 1st level.
Automatic Languages: Common, Maeti and Dwarven Bonus Languages: Elven, Gnoll, Goblin, Orc and Sylvan.

 

[Tovec]

Your fluff does nothing for me, so I'll focus on the actual stats.

+1 Dexterity, +1 Wisdom, -2 Constitution

Why +1s? Why not +2s?

Mae'ti suffer a -2 rolls on saves against any spells cast upon them.

They are going to SLAMMED by spells. Usually its a +2 against X type spells, you gave them a -2 on EVERYTHING. A reflex save to avoid a fireball, -2. A enchantment to avoid stabbing themselves in the face, -2. Poison/necromancy, -2. -2 on ANY spells is hugely terrible for anyone. It is my major problem with this race as is. It makes it virtually unplayable as written, at least in my opinion.

Automatic Languages: Common and Mae'ti. Bonus Languages: Orcish and Dwarven.

You have a vaguely human + dwarf thing going on - given the later abilities and the language selection as is here. Why not Bonus Languages: Any (excluding druidic of course). It isn't a huge issue either way. The answer for this fluff wise might be there and I missed it, but mechanics-wise there is no reason for such a small list.

Medium: As Medium creatures, Mae'ti have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
Mae'ti base land speed is 30 feet.
Dark-Vision: Mae'ti can see in the dark up to 60 feet. Darkvision is black and white only, but it is otherwise like normal sight, and Mae'ti can function just fine with no light at all.
+2 Racial bonus on Listen, Search, and Spot checks.
+2 Racial bonus on Diplomacy checks.
Mae'ti also start with an extra feat at 1st level.

All of this is fine. Fairly bland, but no highlights or low-lights. It is the run of the mill stuff you just give to creatures.

Favored Class: Kurdu. Mae'ti can not be Barbarians, Fighters, Sorcerers and Wizards.

These restrictions are very odd, I understand wanting to urge them to play certain classes and to stay away from others, but those are usually best described via the background on the race and by favoured class and even by the bonuses they get. But ultimately this is homebrew so have the disallowed classes be anything you want. I would also suggest making it two sections:

Restricted Classes: A Mae'ti cannot be a Barbarian, Fighter, Sorcerer, or Wizard. (Usually phased best as "due to ABC reason, a Mae'ti cannot be XYZ class".)
Favoured Class: Kurdu

 

[kpazzh0ly]

First off I greatly appreciate any feedback given as I am trying to edit and make revisions. I haven't ever created a race or class before and I would like to say that I am at best still a novice in D&D.
I forgot to note a few things.
I am making this for a specific campaign. The Mae'ti come from a land that was discovered in the last 100 years or so. They are not a seafaring people and prefer as stated living next to all "four elements". They have never come in contact with magic or arcana. So they do not know of it. When seeing such things they feel it is unnatural and have a sense of fear from it. I used the player's handbook as a template to make this race. I don't want this race to have a LA and I want it to be playable by PC's. That's why there is so much fluff. I agree that restricting them to only a few classes doesn't seem logical. I think the restrictions are mainly for this campaign.

Here are some revisions I have made already:
Alignment:
Due to their discipline they tend to be chaotic neutral and rarely are known to be evil.

Religion:
The Mae'ti do not believe in a direct God nor they believe in the divinity of any God. They believe in the energy from the earth and spirits around them. They can feel power from all living things and therefore they devote themselves to preserving all life.

Mae'ti Racial Traits:

+2 Dexterity, +2 Wisdom, -2 Constitution

+4 Racial bonus on Diplomacy and Intimidate checks.

Automatic Languages: Common ,Mae'ti, Dwarven and Orc. Bonus Languages: Elven, Goblin, Sylvan and Gnoll.

Favored Class: Mae'ti can not be Barbarians and Fighters due to their peaceful nature. They can not be Clerics as they do not believe in a divine God. They also can not be Sorcereres or Wizards as they lack the knowledge about Arcana. Therefore their favoured class is the Kurdu.


I would greatly appreciate more input.

 

[Zaphling]

why the +4 to Diplomacy and Intimidate. is it because they are peaceful with all races? if so, +4 is too big. or you can give +4 to Diplomacy and Intimidate only to orcs and dwarfs since their language is very similar. tending both races to be closer than most races.

class restriction to fighter, barbarian, and cleric does not open possibilities for a unique gameplay from your players. there is always THAT ONLY exception.

so far,that's the only comments i can think of. your welcome.

 

[Burrahobbit]

That -2 to saves vs. spells is pretty nasty, and it would be hard for me as a player to choose this over a human unless I was really, really sold on the concept. Would you consider other ways of defining their lack of protection against magic? Maybe the penalty is only toward spells of a given school, and they actually get bonuses to other spells (e.g., a -2 to saving throws vs. evocation spells, but a +2 to saving throws vs. enchantment or illusion spells: they are unprepared to face magic, but they are also not easily duped by it because their minds aren't conditioned to accept it, something like that).

On the other hand, it seems from the "fluff" you've given that the best way to define this race by the numbers is not through their lack of exposure to magic, but rather from their protective ethos and feeling of kinship with the earth. Maybe instead of the bonus feat, some or all of the skill bonuses, and the penalty to spells, you could add some abilities that play off this theme; perhaps some kind of defensive bonus (either to saving throws or to armor class) when in contact with the earth? Maybe their kinship with spirits and elements gives them some kind of defense against energy damage or the effects of harsh environments? In general, I think your players will be happier with the things that make a race stand out being positive bonuses or neat abilities rather than penalties.

On the subject of the class restrictions, I'd add that one of 3E's defining principles was player choice, so, even if there was a numerical disadvantage to a certain race/class combination, a player could make that choice. For your own campaign, that's entirely your preference, but I'd just make sure your players are sold on it as well, to avoid frustration.

 

[GMMichael]

Disciplined, peaceful, and calm? Sounds lawful to me.

Cleric is still a valid class for non-worshipers. Clerics can draw power from, well, anything besides magical study.

 

[Celebrim]

Disciplined, peaceful, and calm? Sounds lawful to me.

Personality is not alignment. Alignment is not personality.

That said, abhoring violence tends to suggest 'good' to me. Chaotics tend to abhor loss of personal freedom. Recognizing 'the other' sufficiently to extend the same privilege and benevolence toward it as you want to see extended to yourself tends to be not neutral but '(chaotic) good'. That said, he seems to have a non standard ethics mapping.

Cleric is still a valid class for non-worshipers. Clerics can draw power from, well, anything besides magical study.

True of the default D&D setting. Possibly not true of his homebrew setting, where apparantly atheism is a defendable philosophy in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Personally, I find the race excessively narrow to be a PC race. Are there as many as ten or twelve different personalities and characters you can create that are distinctly Mae'tian? Or is this really 'personality as a racial archetype'?

 

[Arkhandus]

I agree with much of what has already been said, but there are a few things I ought to point out.

The class restrictions seem unusual, though I can understand there being cultural reasons why the Mae'ti would never become barbarians, fighters, or wizards; that just shouldn't necessarily apply to those who may have left their homeland and lived among other races. Also, inability to become sorcerers would only stem from a lack of magical talent (or any interbreeding in previous generations with celestials, fey, fiends, genies, polymorphed dragons, doppelgangers, etc., which while possible seems slightly unlikely given their closeness to nature; one would think some dryad, nymph, or other fey creature might have taken a fancy to one of their kind at some point). Even dwarves in 3.x D&D are assumed to have the potential for becoming sorcerers (though unlikely and rare of course). Also, it should be noted that you still allow Mae'ti to become monks and rogues, who are capable of significant violence as well (Sneak Attack, Flurry of Blows, Quivering Palm, etc.), though these classes are more focused on skill-use and scouting or the like. As others have said, Clerics do not need to worship a deity unless specified in the campaign setting itself. Just as Druids and Paladins do not need a patron deity, they draw their power from nature itself or the essence of cosmic good, a Cleric can derive power from simple philosophy and faith in a particular concept or force (like nature, spirits, or ancestor veneration). Of course, it's fine if a particular setting doesn't use that option for Clerics, but it is a possibility in the core rules.

What little has been presented of the Mae'ti culture and personalities seems oriented towards lawful neutral or neutral good tendencies, not chaotic neutral (as that's concerned with freedom and letting folks do what they want, whereas lawful neutral is mostly about disciplined behavior, respecting tradition or laws, and general unity, while neutral good is all about peace and respecting life, preferring mercy and mediation of disputes rather than violence).

Language-wise, I don't see how Maetin could be close to both Dwarven and Orcish........the only thing those languages share is the Dwarven alphabet and numerals, because Orcs were too lazy to bother making their own writing system and just stole the dwarves'. The words and grammar are probably very different, just as English and French are very different despite using the same basic alphabet. Also, I don't see how the Mae'ti's peaceful nature would save them from the ravages of Orcish raids and opportunism; a peaceful race would be the perfect victims of Orcs looking for plunder, slaves, and such. Even with the Mae'ti putting little value in precious metals and jewelry, Orcs would still love to steal their food and other goods rather than bother farming and foraging and crafting for themselves. If you specify some kind of trade agreements between the Mae'ti and Orcs (which would be largely one-sided, with Mae'ti sending goods to the Orcs in return for probably relatively little money/materials), as a way of keeping the Orcs placated and leaving them alone (basically as the ancient Romans used to demand expensive tribute from enemies as a sort of forced bribe to keep the Romans from invading and slaughtering or oppressing them), that would make more sense. Or if the Mae'ti's homeland had some kind of magical wards protecting them from orcish invasion, that would also work, but wouldn't explain why they know how to speak Orcish.

Though it's a slight problem among existing D&D races, I think the Mae'ti look a bit too much like elves for a distinct race, unless they're just an elven subrace. Sure their hair is blue and their eyes aren't always green, and the shape of their face might be more humanlike or half-elven, but that's all they got to distinguish themselves from elves. I would just suggest adding one other distinguishing trait that isn't purely coloration; maybe they're noticeably hairier than elves or some strange skin-patterns or perhaps their eyes just have no distinct pupils or iris (just one pure color for the entire eye), if nothing else.

Stat-wise, the race is a bit too strong with their combination of darkvision, skill bonuses, an extra feat, and ability score bonuses, though the penalty on saving throws against spells at least roughly balances out the darkvision and bonus feat. I don't see why they have a bonus on Intimidate checks, unless they're just superbly persuasive (in which case they ought to have a Charisma bonus and a Bluff bonus as well). This is assuming the race is meant for D&D; in Pathfinder the race is probably OK stat-wise, given the Pathfinder conventions for racial stats. The saving throw penalty is a notable drawback but easily tempered by a few feats, good Dex/Con/Wis, or certain class choices (like Monk, and even Clerics or Druids have two strong saves that would mitigate the severity of that penalty; just take Lightning Reflexes at some point and it won't be a problem; and that's just core-rules stuff). If used in D&D, removing most of the skill bonuses or removing the darkvision or removing one of the ability score bonuses would balance out the race sufficiently, any one of those would do.

 

[kpazzh0ly]

I just wanted to say thank you for all your opinions. It has helped me not only to better create this race, but also to create a better game for my players. As I stated in the first post we are now playing the campaign. I have been trying to get as much information online to create a better game. I feel that the adventure (s) are going well for the characters but I would like to bring more from them and from myself. I guess what I am trying to say is that I really need some pointers with creating a good story.

 

[Sir Knight]

Ah, help with starting a story? There was one thing in your opening post I thought needed addressing:

Personality:

Thier culture is the most important part of their life which misunderstood by most.

That "misunderstood" bit could be the root of a conflict, or at minimum something that needs more explanation. Do you mean "misunderstood" in the sense of "people get the wrong impression of the beings, and may even hate them"? Or just that "people think the Mae'ti are too weird to try to understand"?

Your description is that they are peaceful, try to understand others (they even "find other races to be peculiar" and react with curiosity), and seem almost passive. It appears that everyone can get along just fine with these quiet little atheists. Hence, an internal conflict in your description.

But compelling stories are often character-driven, and if "misunderstood" was just a throwaway line, you might be able to go back to it and grow something much bigger. Find a group of people who conflict on a societal level with the Mae'ti. Create a land conflict, a political blunder, or just some greedy individuals trying to exploit or kick out these "peculiar" Mae'ti. Or even better: religion is obviously a point here, and everyone loves a good holy war. Bring violence to the Mae'ti and they'll fight back, right?