As noted, pure tanking is hard with a swordsage. At higher levels your AC will be better than anyone other than a "true" tank (full plate and shield). But that said, the AC will be better than a barbarian, but the hps will be worse.
An exact build is difficult. I've seen some VERY powerful builds for lower levels, and pretty nice ones for higher levels, but without books in front of me the best I can give is some generalizations.
I'd suggest a well-balanced character stat wise. INT can be a dump (you get a lot of skill points) as can CHR. So in a 32-point game I'd consider:
S16, I10, W14, D14, C14, Ch10. Gives you an AC of 18 right away (pretty good for 2nd level).
Depending on how your DM plays it, you may _really_ want adaptive style.
Multi-classing is something you should seriously consider. As you get to add 1/2 your other levels to your initiator level, you don't lose as much as a caster. So Barb 2 might be good, as might Barb1/Duskblade1 or maybe even Monk2 (flurry, unarmed strike, improved grapple, combat reflexes, and evasion ain't bad) not to mention +3 to all saves. Depends on how your DM does fractional BAB though for the monk... If you do Barbarian be sure you and the DM work out how Rage and manouvers interact. My ruling was no manouvers that require a concentration check and you can't recover manouvers while raging. The rules are very unclear though.
The low-level stances are REALLY good in practice. The ability to move through rough terrain is darn handy if you do much outdoors (plus the +2 attack bonus against folks in rough terrain) and the ability to flank from any angle are both handy and often give you +2 to attacks.
Boosts and counters become more important than strikes at higher level (as you can combine them with full attacks and with strikes).
The 2nd level counter that does 4d6 fire damage is a must-have, as is death mark or whatever the fireball one is as a 3rd level strike.
A two-handed sword is a swordsage's friend. As you often only get one attack, you want to do as much damage as you can.
So I'd start with either barb1/swordsage 1 or monk 1/swordsage1 depending on fractional bab rules and rage vs. maneuver rules for 2nd level. Use a two-handed sword and go to town. AC 18 should be better than just about anyone else at 2nd level (short folks might beat you) and you are certainly locally optimal for AC/damage/movement. If you go barb, take extra rage as soon as you feel you can.
If you _really_ want to tank, a crusader/cleric/?Ruby Knight (the PrC) is really handy. Cleric 2/Crusader 3/RK3/Crusader1/RK7 works really well as I recall. The question is what to do after 16th level. The goal is to get a 6th level stance as early as possible while having some buff/healing ability. I built one that could heal a crazy number of hit points while doing significant damage to the baddies (not huge, just one attack, but I'd be healing the whole party 20ish and myself and a buddy around 35ish and I could do this for a few rounds in a row if I wished). And Clerics of Wes Jas are just fun to play (LG for this one). And with access to the white raven manouvers you can also be the party bard. Huge PrC. Just Huge.
Edit: The duskblade build is for "stand" and "blade of blood" or whatever it's called. Plus frankly, the crazy number of cantrips (even with a 10 int) is quite nice for my playing style (6 a day I think?) In our game, getting tripped seems pretty common (worgs right now) and stand is very handy to have. Plus extra damage as a swift action is always nice.
Edit2: The "skill tricks" from complete Scoundrel are VERY handy for a swordsage. Your skill list is about perfect and 6 skill points/level helps too.
Edit3: WoTC had some cards with the manouvers that they have on-line. Use them. For a crusader it is a *must* but for a swordsage it is way handy. (I made my swordsage player print them and use them as a condition of being allowed to play the class.) Printing them in color costs a bit, but he is happy with them...
Mark