Oryan77
Adventurer
I'm in a predicament now. My group used to play at my friends house but he's been in the process of getting a divorce for the last 3 months and they are fighting over the house...the soon to be ex-wife still lives in the house. So we have been playing D&D in my apartment since August until they get it settled.
We only play 2 Saturdays out of a month, sometimes only once a month. Our sessions go from 12pm to around 9pm. My roommate (who does not play D&D) at first didn't have a problem with us hogging the living room to play. He would go to his room with his gf and watch dvds. I have always tried to accommodate him for any inconvenience our game causes by offering to hookup our cable tv receiver in his room while we play (which he never accepts). He has asked us before in the middle of a session if we could stop the game by 8 so he could watch a boxing match and we gladly did so. This week I told him on Wednesday beforehand that we were playing in case he wanted to make plans to get out of the house.
Well on Friday evening he emails me asking if we could end at 5pm because he wants to relax, fix dinner, and watch tv on the couch (he does this every weekend & weekday anyway). I told him that I already let him know we planned to play all day and that I only ask to have the living room 2 days out of a month. We don't play often, we don't start until 1pm-2pm due to ordering lunch & such things, so a couple hours just doesn't do us much good. I asked him to just let me have my day. His reply to that was very disrespecting, demanding, & selfish. He said that me playing all day was "unacceptable", that we could start earlier (we can't), that he "pays rent and will use the place as he is entitled to - and that should not be questioned", and that I should schedule games for when he's on business trips, and if his dates change, I should cancel my game to "accommodate him, not the other way around". The quotes are exactly what he said. So I immediately called him to discuss it since I was really ticked off.
We had a heated argument over the phone for 20 minutes. Basically he pays rent & is entitled to use the place as he wishes but I cant. I never had a problem with his friends coming over Friday/Saturday nights drinking, being loud, and hogging the living room before they go clubbing. If I don't feel like being a part of it, I have no problem at all going to my room to relax. So we basically didn't get this resolved. We both think we're right and the other is in the wrong. He expects me & 3 friends to schedule our game and use of my apartment around his schedule. Even though I understand where he's coming from & that we are inconveniencing him, his excuse is that he just wants to sit on the couch rather than in his room to watch tv & eat dinner. If I could play in my room I totally would.
We can't play at the other friends house because he lives with his parents, and the 3rd player is my gf who is staying with me until she finds a new place to live (maybe we can play there when the time comes). The only solution I can think of to play away from my apartment is to rent a hotel room for $45 a night. Both my gf & players say I shouldn't do that because I'm entitled to use the apartment also & I shouldn't have to pay money for another place (they would chip in though). The thing is, I've lived with this roommate for over 3 years, he's a good guy regardless of this scenario, and if I kept playing now it will just create bad vibes between us and him and my friends. I also don't want it to get childish where he just barges in to watch tv and disturbs our game so he can use the living room also or we plan a game and he purposefully hogs the living room so we can't play. Not that he is like that, but you never know in situations like this. I just don't want this to ruin a friendship, good roommate, and create tension in the apartment. I also don't want to move out over something that seems childish even though it's important to me. We just cancelled the game that morning and watched Saw 2 instead. Turns out my roommate spent the time in his room with his girlfriend anyway! But that's because we fought and he probably didn't want to see me yet just like I didn't want to see him.
So what's your advice? If you were in my shoes, would you pay for a hotel, stop gaming until the divorce ends or my girlfriend gets a place, or am I entitled to use my place & keep gaming there and see what happens? We tried talking about it, and he doesn't seem to budge no matter how angry he knows I am about this.
Please keep in mind also, this isn't about bashing my roommate. He's not the average prick; he's just a bit selfish sometimes which I think everyone is anyway. And D&D is a strange game that demands a lot from the environment. It's not like we're playing poker & he can still watch tv and neither of us will be bothering each other. It's these factors that make it hard for me to make a decision.
We only play 2 Saturdays out of a month, sometimes only once a month. Our sessions go from 12pm to around 9pm. My roommate (who does not play D&D) at first didn't have a problem with us hogging the living room to play. He would go to his room with his gf and watch dvds. I have always tried to accommodate him for any inconvenience our game causes by offering to hookup our cable tv receiver in his room while we play (which he never accepts). He has asked us before in the middle of a session if we could stop the game by 8 so he could watch a boxing match and we gladly did so. This week I told him on Wednesday beforehand that we were playing in case he wanted to make plans to get out of the house.
Well on Friday evening he emails me asking if we could end at 5pm because he wants to relax, fix dinner, and watch tv on the couch (he does this every weekend & weekday anyway). I told him that I already let him know we planned to play all day and that I only ask to have the living room 2 days out of a month. We don't play often, we don't start until 1pm-2pm due to ordering lunch & such things, so a couple hours just doesn't do us much good. I asked him to just let me have my day. His reply to that was very disrespecting, demanding, & selfish. He said that me playing all day was "unacceptable", that we could start earlier (we can't), that he "pays rent and will use the place as he is entitled to - and that should not be questioned", and that I should schedule games for when he's on business trips, and if his dates change, I should cancel my game to "accommodate him, not the other way around". The quotes are exactly what he said. So I immediately called him to discuss it since I was really ticked off.
We had a heated argument over the phone for 20 minutes. Basically he pays rent & is entitled to use the place as he wishes but I cant. I never had a problem with his friends coming over Friday/Saturday nights drinking, being loud, and hogging the living room before they go clubbing. If I don't feel like being a part of it, I have no problem at all going to my room to relax. So we basically didn't get this resolved. We both think we're right and the other is in the wrong. He expects me & 3 friends to schedule our game and use of my apartment around his schedule. Even though I understand where he's coming from & that we are inconveniencing him, his excuse is that he just wants to sit on the couch rather than in his room to watch tv & eat dinner. If I could play in my room I totally would.
We can't play at the other friends house because he lives with his parents, and the 3rd player is my gf who is staying with me until she finds a new place to live (maybe we can play there when the time comes). The only solution I can think of to play away from my apartment is to rent a hotel room for $45 a night. Both my gf & players say I shouldn't do that because I'm entitled to use the apartment also & I shouldn't have to pay money for another place (they would chip in though). The thing is, I've lived with this roommate for over 3 years, he's a good guy regardless of this scenario, and if I kept playing now it will just create bad vibes between us and him and my friends. I also don't want it to get childish where he just barges in to watch tv and disturbs our game so he can use the living room also or we plan a game and he purposefully hogs the living room so we can't play. Not that he is like that, but you never know in situations like this. I just don't want this to ruin a friendship, good roommate, and create tension in the apartment. I also don't want to move out over something that seems childish even though it's important to me. We just cancelled the game that morning and watched Saw 2 instead. Turns out my roommate spent the time in his room with his girlfriend anyway! But that's because we fought and he probably didn't want to see me yet just like I didn't want to see him.
So what's your advice? If you were in my shoes, would you pay for a hotel, stop gaming until the divorce ends or my girlfriend gets a place, or am I entitled to use my place & keep gaming there and see what happens? We tried talking about it, and he doesn't seem to budge no matter how angry he knows I am about this.
Please keep in mind also, this isn't about bashing my roommate. He's not the average prick; he's just a bit selfish sometimes which I think everyone is anyway. And D&D is a strange game that demands a lot from the environment. It's not like we're playing poker & he can still watch tv and neither of us will be bothering each other. It's these factors that make it hard for me to make a decision.
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