Cantrips (and Spells) for the Modern World

[Guest 6801328]

The thread about which one cantrip I would want IRL made me realize that I would just want a completely different spell list. Here are the first few that come to mind:



"Locate Keys"


"Comprehend Spouse"


"Magic # Key": allows you to skip straight to a human in any automated voice response system. (If you want a knowledgeable and helpful human you need to use a Wish spell.)


"Lull Toddler"
Range: Touch
Effect: Puts one child to sleep. Lasts 12 hours.

"Confuse Algorithm"
You, um, cast it on a web page or mobile app. I guess. ("Inflict SegV" is a higher level spell.)

"Recall Message"
Allows you to cancel a text or email after you hit Send, even if the software doesn't allow that.

"Curse Driver"
I actually cast this one on a daily basis.

 

[Mistwell]

The Summoning Charm from Harry Potter is really what I want. IE I want a combined "Locate Object" with "Bring that object to me". With a 7 year old, lost objects cost me precious hours each week. Accio Missing Sock! Accio Bobby Pin! Accio Cell Phone!

A Charm Child into Doing Homework, or Getting Dressed, or Brushing Teeth, or Turning Off YouTube, would all be invaluable.

 

[LuisCarlos17f]

"Watering gunpowder" or "Blocking machine guns" against enemies with firearms.

"Reload energy battery"

"Repair motor"

"Arcane antivirus"

"Ultraviolet bomb" Larten with radiant damage against undeads.

 

[ccs]

Because when it snows my drive tends to drift....
Ritual: Remove Snow & Ice (from driveway/walk ways).
Every 10' worth of area requires x additional casting time. So great for my drive/walk, not practical for the entire road.

 

[rgoodbb]

Create Food and DM

Enhance Energy

Summon Kittens

Mass Summon Kittens

Remove Hairball/s

 

[MonkeezOnFire]

Unseen Handyman: It would be like unseen servant except the entity is skilled enough to make repairs and make improvements around the house. Also put me down for wanting Unseen Servant in real life as well.

Verify Info: A divination spell that confirms or denies if any piece of information is true. At higher level casts it can explain with more nuance its answers when asked to verify more complex statements.

 

[jasper]

Non Cheat cantrip. Blocks cheating. Good for teachers and dms.
Pres a digi body. Counts as 1 hour of hard exercise . Cast time 1 minute.
MMM good. Makes vegies taste great.
Spell check. Correst spelling on postsss.
Eye spy. Corrects eye sight to 20/20

 

[rgoodbb]

Contact other Lens

Dispel Acid - too much curry and wine

Reverse Accident - Some non-dextrous folks just roll a lot of natural 1's in real life.

 

[MechaTarrasque]

Put me down for Time Stop (especially when I am running late and the bus is coming).

Aura of Personal Space

Remove Allergies

Mordakenein's Faithful Babysitter

 

[doctorbadwolf]

The Summoning Charm from Harry Potter is really what I want. IE I want a combined "Locate Object" with "Bring that object to me". With a 7 year old, lost objects cost me precious hours each week. Accio Missing Sock! Accio Bobby Pin! Accio Cell Phone!

A Charm Child into Doing Homework, or Getting Dressed, or Brushing Teeth, or Turning Off YouTube, would all be invaluable.

I got excited for Accio Object, and then my stomach turned at the thought of charm spells IRL.

I....I think I'd be a mage slayer if there were charm spells IRL...