CERAMIC D.M. (not the current one, a year old)
- Thread starter alsih2o
- Start date
Sniktch
First Post
Just checking in, and... argh! So close - I'll get you yet, Speaker! 
My thanks also to mirthcard for his detailed critiques - that's exactly the type of thing I like to see. My exposition, or thought process:
Like I said, the images together just screamed cold and ice at me, but unifying them was rather difficult. In the end, I just let the stream of my consciousness take over and that's what you see here, the ramblings of my fevered brain late at night.
I know I was vague and obtuse in many places, but I think part of that flows from the state of the narrator and protagonist - at the beginning he is dying and dreaming, the confused remembrances of a spirit that refuses to leave the mortal coil. At the end he is undead and his brain is working in an entirely different fashion than a living man's would. Svetlana and the masked woman at the end are the same person, although I admit this is not clear at all. The 'vague shapes and lights' signify some sort of fiendish entity attacking the pair and possessing her, so to speak. When the protagonist awakes he is a revenant - the details of what happened are not entirely clear to him, but his task is...
In the end, it appears I was too vague for my own good, which was my fear when submitting the piece. I had fun writing it, though, and fun reading everyone else's work and receiving valuable criticisms. Congratulations to Speaker on another excellent job, congrats to the other winners for their fine work, and good luck to all of you in round 2. I can't wait to see how this contest plays out, and I have to admit I especially have my eye turned towards the arwink - speaker match this round...
My thanks also to mirthcard for his detailed critiques - that's exactly the type of thing I like to see. My exposition, or thought process:Like I said, the images together just screamed cold and ice at me, but unifying them was rather difficult. In the end, I just let the stream of my consciousness take over and that's what you see here, the ramblings of my fevered brain late at night.
I know I was vague and obtuse in many places, but I think part of that flows from the state of the narrator and protagonist - at the beginning he is dying and dreaming, the confused remembrances of a spirit that refuses to leave the mortal coil. At the end he is undead and his brain is working in an entirely different fashion than a living man's would. Svetlana and the masked woman at the end are the same person, although I admit this is not clear at all. The 'vague shapes and lights' signify some sort of fiendish entity attacking the pair and possessing her, so to speak. When the protagonist awakes he is a revenant - the details of what happened are not entirely clear to him, but his task is...
In the end, it appears I was too vague for my own good, which was my fear when submitting the piece. I had fun writing it, though, and fun reading everyone else's work and receiving valuable criticisms. Congratulations to Speaker on another excellent job, congrats to the other winners for their fine work, and good luck to all of you in round 2. I can't wait to see how this contest plays out, and I have to admit I especially have my eye turned towards the arwink - speaker match this round...
alsih2o
First Post
you did well sniktch, and you wrote an interesting story, you just happened to come up aainst the wrong writer at the wrong time 
while i am on this, big thanks to all the contestants, you guys make this sooo much fun.
i hope to see all of you working here agaian and woking outside of here
while i am on this, big thanks to all the contestants, you guys make this sooo much fun.
i hope to see all of you working here agaian and woking outside of here
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