Comments:
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This was, by far, the most difficult of the stories to write, so far. I was able to immediately start writing with the other two, as one or more of the pictures gave me something to start from. Even if I didn’t know where the stories were going, I was able to get a handle on how I wanted them to feel.
This one though – I had a couple false starts, and I wasn’t finding any inspiration. Then, on Saturday night, as I was fretting over what to do, I sat down at my dining room table and looked over at my bookcase, where my gaze fell upon a shelf full of manga. “I know,” I said to my wife, “I should write a kung-fu story. Nobody will be expecting that!”
Then I thought about it and realized that every picture fit. So, I got up on Sunday morning and wrote the entire thing that day. That was a long day.
I understand the comments about the end being too short. I feel as though it is, as well, but I ran out of time. I actually had to cut a scene that I had planned near the beginning for time reasons, too.
Piratecat – I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Berandor – I still feel like I ran out of words. As I was writing, it almost felt like I was writing the same word over and over again.
As to your confusion over Fahai’s actual status: this is one of the areas that, if I had an extra day, I would have attempted to smooth out. My intent was that he was the reincarnation of the old Fahai.
If you’ll indulge me for a moment, I can explain my vision of the cosmology of the story. I envisioned Bai and Xu, being spirits, getting bodily kicked out of Heaven – they got sent back to earth and then had to spend time regaining their power. Fahai, on the other hand, being human, voluntarily reincarnated in order to keep an eye on them. Bai and Xu, therefore, were aware of their former lives while Fahai wasn’t.
At least, that’s how it worked in my head while I was writing the story.
Gulla – Thank you for your comments, as always. I know that not every person likes every type of story, and I thank you for sticking with it. I was, in fact, going for the martial-arts action movie feel, with the shouting out of move names.
Now, on to comments on the other stories:
Mythago: You tease! I started reading, and now I’m hooked, and I want to know what Chauchau is and what’s going to happen to Tuong. It’s too bad that you weren’t able to complete it, but I hope that everything is well with you, or else soon will be.
Rodrigo: Delightfully creepy. I thought the supernatural element showed up a little too abruptly at the last minute, though; it felt like an entirely psychological horror story until the very end. You do a very good job of creating a feeling of isolation – I just think a few supernatural tidbits leading up to the end would have helped smooth things out.
Piratecat: Nice! I don’t really have anything to critique – it was all-around fun. If I had to pick something, I’d say that I felt like Rubber Band’s personality was a little too over-confident for the amount of charm he had. It felt a little bit like a cross between the Tick and Adam West’s rendition of Batman. I suspect that says more about me than your story, though.
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