Ceramic DM Winter 07 (Final Judgment Posted)

Piratecat · Mar 13, 2007

Berandor said:
Geek!

I demand respect, darn it. That's Mister Geek.

yangnome · Mar 13, 2007

PC-

Actually, I meant to take that comment out. I agree with what you posted, and any form of story can hold deeper meanings and themes. There are certainly plenty of examples in comics, comedies, etc that convey deep messages. I didn't really find them (or at least they didn't have the same impact on me) in the story you told.

Sialia · Mar 14, 2007

Golly. I saw at least three layers of meaning in it, possibly four, beyond the surface story.

Now, I grant you, one of those layers was full of in-jokes that made me want to do a Norton's annotations to the story, and I didn't expect a wide audience of readers to get those, even though they made me grin ear to ear. I decided not to comment on them before the judging, because Piratecat knew darn well when he worked them in that they wouldn't count in the judging. Easter eggs.

But beyond that, I thought there was a fine tribute to and portrait of many things that Piratecat loves--and he was startlingly good at portraying them clearly and honestly. You didn't really have to know the originals to enjoy the portraits, although it was even nicer if you happen to and can appreciate the startling clarity. In reading this story, I could clearly hear the voices of people I know that he has perfectly captured, insome ways Bettter Than Life.

Deeper than that, I think there was a cool metaphor for the creative act itself. The grasping of tenuous clues to stitch together a cohesive strategy, the sense of self deconstruction that Piratecat put himself through during this tournament trying to find and refind and refine his voice--the triumph of being able to stretch and reconstruct himself artistically, and even perhaps a bit of wry self-deprecating worry in wondering whether if in taking himself apart to find his way, he may have misplaced some important part of his . . . um . . . potency.
Some of this layer may have been unintended, but it was clearly so much on his mind while he was writing, I don't think it's unreasonable to see it there.

Mostly, I thought this story was an awful lot of fun. Angst itself is not inherently more valuable than comedy.

Rodrigo's story stands, I think, not for the angst or horror factors, but more for the thoughtful exploration of the ideas of finding oneself outside the norm, in various ways. The story touched a nerve of truth in that that was significantly powerful. Also the main characters felt genuine.

orchid blossom · Mar 14, 2007

Piratecat said:
Orchid Blossom, you mentioned that you noticed the writerly techniques I was using. Could you... erm... tell me what the heck they were, or point me to an appropriate web site that defines them? The downside of having gone to business school is that I don't know diddly about formal writing techniques.

PC, it would be nice if I could sound all fancy like I remembered stuff from my creative writing class, but alas, I can't give you the formal names for all these techniques. I honestly never learned them. Getting a BA in English is like getting a BA in BS. You just make it all up and keep talking. Eventually you figure out what's going on, but not in any way that you can easily discuss with anyone else. But I can do some describing.

The first real example I can think of when you have the past and future villian going through the supermarket. Interposed with his story is his very normal shopping list. The list lead to the hamburger, but it also does something else. There's an effective juxtaposition there. This mundane shopping list grounds the villian in the same world we live in, where you have to drive to the market, push the cart with the crappy wheel, and pick up overpriced groceries and a few things your doctor wouldn't approve of. In between is the exotic; the life of a criminal. A super-powered criminal at that. It's a technique that grounds the story while letting it go believeably into a fantasy. And it makes the talking package of hamburger even stranger.

The next scene is the get to know the characters and get some exposition in without it feeling like exposition scene. I don't know if I would have picked it up as that, except since I'm judging, I'm looking. Exposition is always hard to get in naturally, so a conversation about what the readers need to know often crops up in short stories.

There were also plenty of examples of foreshadowing, which is very important. The flesh molding is surprising but believable because we saw something with the hamburger.

And you must have been trying to play to the judge with the Green Bay Packers thing. I mean, come on. I used to live where I could hear the crowd noise from Lambeau field! And they really did used to be the Acme Meat Packers... I'm sure you already knew that.

maxfieldjadenfox · Mar 14, 2007

Sialia said:
I am a purist about this competition; I think it is perfectly conceived as is and should not be altered one iota.

Unless we want to have a spin off competition to draw "one more illustration" for the grand winner's story as a sort of prize to the champion. That would be cool, and I'd enter.

I would love to have an illustrator's version, where you have to come up with illos for some bizarre story, or maybe a combo writer/illustrator version, where you get paired with a writer? Lots of fun ways to go with this...

Piratecat · Mar 15, 2007

I'm really excited to see the final round's pictures! A little piece of me thinks that I should write a private story to them as a writing exercise. On the other hand, a great big piece of me thinks that the little piece is smoking some serious crack. Half the fun of being knocked out early is the schadenfreude of watching other people sweat.

Hypersmurf · Mar 15, 2007

Piratecat said:
I'm really excited to see the final round's pictures! A little piece of me thinks that I should write a private story to them as a writing exercise. On the other hand, a great big piece of me thinks that the little piece is smoking some serious crack. Half the fun of being knocked out early is the schadenfreude of watching other people sweat.

You could write a private story, with the luxury of taking a week to do it

-Hyp.

Rodrigo Istalindir · Mar 15, 2007

You're not devious enough, Piratecat. What you should have done was gotten yangnome to give you the pictures early, written your story, then posted it like three hours after the pictures went up.